2018 has been weird. Here at the C.R.U.N.C.H. Tactical Headquarters (Cerealously Research Unified Network for Communications and Hijinks), there’s an eerie calm this Halloween season. As the big Monster Cereals anniversary coincides with Kellogg’s spoony decision to again throw down the gauntlet-shaped marbit, I at least expected to see some excitement. And yet most major news has centered on either the Festivus season or Pop-Tarts’ yeasty second rise to prominence.

So without much in the way of fresh Halloween bowls to plunder, my autumn-obsessed gaze turns to secondary flavors. Just like how Charlie Brown’s Christmas and Great Pumpkin escapades eclipse the rest of his oeuvre (I’ll always remember you, It’s Dental Flossophy, Charlie Brown), certain taste profiles are overshadowed by pumpkin spice’s ubiquity. But what’s a hayride at the pumpkin patch without cider and caramel apples? A new challenger approaches, and it has seriously rosy cheeks.

Trader Joe’s Caramel Apple Flavored Granola makes a bold promise. Cinnamon apple is one thing, but caramel? Joe may have gotten himself into a sticky situation. Reviews like this can result in quite a pun-undrum.

Yep, that just happened.

(Photo via Trader Joe’s, because good pouch photography is nigh impossible)

My hopes were high for this granola, between its enticing package and fond memories of making caramel apples at home. Then burning the caramel. Then pointing a box fan at the smoke alarm so the dog will stop barking, realizing that you have to remove the battery, figuring out that there’s a secondary internal battery, smashing it with a hammer, and driving to the store for ready-made replacements. Ah, the nostalgic aroma of ruined cookware.

This stuff is different, however. There’s a clear caramel sweetness to the smell, but not really any flowery apple notes despite visible bits of dehydrated fruit. Instead, it’s a dead-ringer for old fashioned caramel corn. Fair enough. The texture is also quite different from most granolas. Rather than bite-sized chunklets of oat and company, Caramel Apple Flavored Granola comes out in solid bricks. The bits adhere in a powerful way, just a bit on the challenging side of crunchy. This isn’t likely to be eaten straight from the bag.

And the taste? A third wave of nostalgia brings on chilly fall thoughts of… baseball. For all its apple promises and caramel dreams, this granola’s true form rests adjacent to a Cracker Jack. That stems from the unexpected inclusion of peanuts, which I’m guessing were meant to simulate the fancy, hedgehogged version of caramel apples which have also been rolled in nuts. So the apple part is a swing-and-a-miss, but TJ’s succeeded in making a Cracker Jack granola that harkens back to a cereal from before I was even born.

Milk changes little. The asteroid-like lumps aren’t softened at all by exposure to liquid. However, creamy accompaniment is just what this perplexing mix calls for. The powerful sweetness of Caramel Apple Flavored Granola is tempered with a milk wash while it also helps clear out the gritty residue of each hefty bite. And now—call me crazy, but this could work—I’m keen to see what happens to Cracker Jacks when introduced to yogurt.

As I was considering how to score this mislabeled trip to the ballpark, I noticed a suggestion written on the back: Trader Joe’s would have us microwave Caramel Apple Flavored Granola. Now that’s how you get a cereal blogger’s attention. You see, where a great many people freeze their treats to maximize deliciousness, can you guess who has two thumbs and puts just about everything in the microwave? This guy.

…er, me. I’m referring to myself. I guess pointing thumbs doesn’t translate into text very well.

One minute in the microwave gives us an interesting chimera. The erstwhile rocky masses render down into a smooth, chewy, oatmeal. Still heavy on the Cracker Jack, the caramelized sugar melds with the surrounding milk to take on slight qualities of peanut brittle. I was hoping to see the apples reconstitute, but even heat doesn’t do them any service.

Is Trader Joe’s Caramel Apple Flavored Granola good? Yes, decidedly so. Does it taste anything like caramel apples? No. But I wouldn’t be surprised to see this recipe return in the summer, perhaps in a promotion involving helmet-shaped cereal bowls. And despite the misleading label, it’s hard to be mad at Trader Joe’s for this one. In a Halloween season with very little Halloween, this lingering taste of summer feels somehow appropriate. Plus, three words: Cracker Jack endmilk.

The Bowl: Trader Joe’s Caramel Apple Flavored Granola

The Breakdown: This heavily-sweetened asteroid belt of crunchy clusters is a challenge to chew in dry form, but delivers a unique kind of oatmeal when nuked. Less apple than Jack, but knocks it out of the park with a change of perspective.

The Bottom Line: 7 baseball references from a guy who doesn’t know how to baseball out of 10