Another cereal bar review?

You might be asking yourself, “has Cerealously abandoned the art of the bowl forever? Are we destined to have all of our breakfasts now be in the form of bars? Should I start squeezing my scrambled eggs into portable rectangles?”

But fear not, bowled souls. Though the breakfast cereal industry is likely greatly influenced by the success of on-the-go breakfasts, my own recent magnetism towards bars is mostly sparked by the demanding nature of university life. After all, pouring 2% on a crackling bowl of Rice Krispies in the middle of an exam probably won’t win me any new friends.

So what’s the bar-tender’s special tonight? Reese’s Puffs Treats.

With their vibrant orange box and multi-shaded brown motif, these Treats are giving me a serious autumn/Thanksgiving vibe. But instead of being stuffed with cornbread and celery, these cute lil cereal bars have a creamy peanut butter base, a smushed together center of Reese’s Puff cereal pieces and Reese’s peanut butter chips, and another peanut butter drizzle on top.

The bars are soft and squishy, with much more of a chew than a crunch. The peanut butter base and the drizzle are essentially melted and reformed versions of the Reese’s peanut butter chips, so their flavors are comparable and have a tendency to blend together in the strong peanut buttery primordial soup produced after taking a bite.

However, I’ve always had a bit of a problem with the flavor of “Reese’s peanut butter chips.” Why? Because they don’t freaking taste like Reese’s peanut butter! The real deal Reese’s PB is oily and salty, with the consistency of packed wet sand. The chipper peanut butter in these treats, on the other hand, is smoother and pastier, with a taste that has a much stronger nut and sugar profile.

Is this a bad thing? Certainly not. But as a long-time Reese’s connoisseur (the Reese’s Eggs are the undisputed best kind. Come on NutRageous fans: I know you want to debate me.) with high expectations, this is like biting into a chocolate chip cookie only to find out it was oatmeal raisin the whole time.

But now that my peanut-encrusted rant is over, I should get back to the Treats. As I mentioned, the center of these bars consists of a cobbled-together amalgamation of Reese’s Puff pieces.  Since the hyper sweet chips wear the peanut butter-flavored pants in this relationship, the taste of the…the…

Sorry. I just got distracted thinking about how good of an idea “peanut butter-flavored pants” is.

The taste of the puff pieces is hard to identify. There are faint undertones of corny peanut and cocoa, but the puffs are like the packaging peanuts or Redshirts of these Reese’s Puffs Treats: they’re there for filler. If nothing else, they provide an airy, crispy contrast to the PB’s creaminess.

Speaking of cocoa, I really do wish these had a stronger chocolate profile. While chocolate may have always been the Garfunkel to peanut butter’s Simon when it comes to Reese’s, the two are still better together. Thankfully, I still had some Count Chocola Treats left over, so by combining both into an unholy cereal bar sandwich, I was able to produce a delicious choco-peanut confection worthy of the Reese’s name.

I call it “Count Puff-ula,” which kinda sound like the name of a Halloween-themed anti-drug PSA.

Overall, Reese’s Puffs Treats are kind of like inside-out Little Debbie Nutty Bars: melty, tasty, and intensely nutty PB on the outside, with a bit of crispy chocolate in the middle. So if strong peanut butter flavor really butters your proverbial biscuit, these Treats are for you.

But if you’re looking for a more distinct Reese’s Puff experience on-the-go, you might as well just channel your inner horse and strap a box to your face.

And if you’re searching for that recognizable chocolate-peanut butter Reese’s experience in bar form? Well, you’re probably better off letting a bag of mini cups bake in the sun for awhile.

The “Bowl:” Reese’s Puffs Treats

The Breakdown: Peanut butter nuts will go nuts over the strong combo of sweet peanut butter chips and a smooth base, but cereal and Reese’s devotees will “nut” be satisfied.

The Bottom Line: 7 haphazard scrambled eggs power bars out of 10