Oh, Grape-Nuts: you go by many names in my household, from “mouth gravel” to “rugged nuggets.” But most of us just call you “ow!” because the strength of your molar-cracking crunchiness would make the Incredible Hulk blush.
Post must have realized that Grape-Nuts were unfairly lining the pockets of dentists everywhere, which is why we have Grape Nuts Flakes. A “lite” version of original Grape-Nuts (both in terms of texture and calories), these Flakes promise all of the O.G. Grape-Nuts flavor you love with half the number of broken bicuspids.
And for those of you who already hated the taste of Grape-Nuts? Well, these charming barley shavings might still win you over.
For a bunch of fluffy flakes, you can sure pack a ton of them into a bowl. Sure, they may look like the kind of shredded woodchips you use to line a hamster cage, but between Hamtaro and The Hamster Dance, those chipper domestic rodents have brought the world plenty of good. Pile on the hamster flakes, I say!
The initial flavor has a unique, pleasant woodsy sweetness. It’s pretty much exactly like a bowl of regular Grape-Nuts that got sent through a cheese grater. But as I ate more, the Flakes released a much more potent blast of toasted, malted sugar. Since you get way more Flakes per serving than Grape-Nuts nuggets, it’s probably the increased surface area that allows the Flakes to secrete their extra barley sweetness.
If you’re going to add milk to your Grape-Nuts Flakes (and add milk you should, unless you want your mouth to turn drier than a Prohibition era church picnic), be sure to add a lot, because these flaky fellas are thirsty. My bowl of Grape-Nuts Sarlacc Pit Flakes sucked down a Boba Fett-sized serving of milk within seconds, leaving behind no endmilk.
Despite its high saturation point, Grape-Nuts Flakes tastes better when milk soaked, as the sweet malt taste gets even maltier and a steady roasted nut aftertaste emerges.
My biggest problem with this cereal is one of pure mouth fatigue. Even though it won’t hurt your teeth, working through a mammoth bowl of malted barley (and one serving size of this cereal really is massive) will give your jaw the kind of workout it hasn’t experienced since you last belted out “Bohemian Rhapsody” on the way to work.
In a world of bland corn flakes and bran flakes, the golden toastiness of Grape-Nuts Flakes is a welcome “wake-up shake-up.” It’s a little too grainy and mild to compete with any of the hearty breakfast big guns like Raisin Bran Crunch or Toasted Oatmeal Flakes, but Grape-Nuts Flakes will be my go-to cereal for when I straight up want to eat a lot of cereal without having to buy a lot of new clothes to accommodate a lot more pudginess.
I only wish Grape-Nuts were better at advertising, because maybe then we’d get the actual “Grape Flavored Grape-Nuts” the world has been asking for ever since C.W. Post first decided in 1897 to name the cereal after the grape seeds they resemble (though that’s just one of the stories behind the name) instead of actually putting raisins into them.
All Grape-Nuts needs to do to boost sales is show people the badass way they make ’em, a process that involves baking 10-pound barley bricks, which are then quite literally flung into rapidly spinning fans that obliterate them into crunchy nuggets.
I can think of no better way to end this review than with atomized Grape-Nuts trebuchets.
The Bowl: Grape-Nuts Flakes
The Breakdown: Malted, munch-able, mouth tiring, and ultimately not terribly memorable, Grape-Nuts Flakes will still give you plenty of “mmm”s, as long as you give them a chance (and a lot of milk).
The Bottom Line: 7 medieval cereal weapons out of 10
The lack of Grape-Nuts Flakes in the Augusta, GA area leads me to believe that they are no long being manufactured. Walmart doesn’t have them. Kroger doesn’t have them. Publix doesn’t have them. Whats up??
I’ve eaten Post Grape Nut Flakes for several years, then wasn’t able to find it. Now it’s back on the grocery shelves. But, before it only had 4 grams of sugar now the new ones have 7 grams. Why are you adding more sugar. My husband and I are both diabetic. My dietician said to look for 3 grams or less of sugar & saturated fats, which is very hard to do. Not very happy!
l was introduced to this by my grandmother over 40 years ago. Sadly, you can’t find it anywhere in Canada, at least not to my knowledge. The last time l had some was when my mom went to the US and brought some back from wherever. l think it was the northwestern part of the states. That was four or five years ago. Where can l get these? Anyone?
I am finding it hard to find Grape-nuts Flakes in the Tampa Fl area as well. Is there an issue at Post?
My husband ate Grape Nut FLAKES for years with no dental problems. He loves them. We are, absolutely, appalled at the cost of a box of them….if they can be found!!
How many oz in a box of these flakes
Seriously, is there anywhere to buy Grape-Nuts Flakes in the northeast philadelphia area? Mail order–Amazon appears to want $10 per box. Is there another reputable site that mails?
I cannot find post grape nuts flakes anywhere in indianapolis, ind. What is the problem?
hm… never herd of grape-nut cereal before, but after a little research they seem to be my kind of cereal ^^
Damn you dan!!! another cereal on my “have to eat before i die” list 😉
This is one of my all-time favorite cereals, both its unique taste and its great density of flakes. No other cereal has the same barley taste. I also second the comment about your blog’s enjoy-ability.
Glad to hear you enjoy the blog! Thanks for the positive feedback; it warms my heart to know my words are actually reaching people.
There are a number of issues to comment on here. First, I appreciate you indulging my need to know more about this cereal. I think I’ll like it even though, like you, I really like hearty, crunchy flakes like those found in RBC (I would also add: Smart Start, Fiber Ones Honey Clusters, Honey Nut Cheerios Medley Crunch.) As someone who likes I low milk to cereal ratio when I do go wet, I’m really fascinated by this oatmeal-type consistency that the pictures tease out.
I’d also add that you’re a really enjoyable-to-read, natural writer. Your metaphors and imagery are wonderfully distinct without being cliche.
PS: I hope this cereal didn’t take you 1,000 years to digest
Glad to see another fan of Fiber One Honey Clusters! Definitely an underrated gem.
And thanks so much for the kind words! It means a lot to receive positive feedback from such a respectable cereal blogger like yourself. Here’s hoping you and I can collaborate on…”something” 😏…fairly soon to unite our cereal talents for the greater good!