Chunks of rock are underrated. Whether you’re gazing at geodes in a museum, winning a piece of the Aggro Crag on Nickelodeon GUTS, or simply throwing things in the quarry with Creed from The Office, chunks of rock are versatile and fun.

And edible chunks of rock are delicious, too. Fruity Pebbles, rock candy, chocolate-covered rocks, and Rocky Road ice cream? All of the above, please! The latest snack to join this honorable lineage of gravel is Nature Valley’s Granola Crunch. These green satchels come in Cinnamon and Maple Brown Sugar, and they promise to contain 21 Nature Valley Granola Bars-worth of flavor-packed oat rectangles that fell apart on the granola bar assembly line lovingly crafted oat bites.

I’ve recently had a personal granola rebirth, so I’m excited to bathe in the warm-baked glory of these craggy crumbs.

Nature Valley Maple Brown Sugar Granola Crunch

Let’s start with the one I was more excited about, as a self-proclaimed maple maniac.

These bits of Maple Brown Sugar granola vary wildly in size from “kitten bicuspid” and “shark tooth” all the way to “Brontosaurus molar.” But don’t let that dental imagery deceive you: these chunks aren’t nearly crunchy enough to hurt your own pearly whites. In fact, the bag’s claim that these are granola bar pieces seems dubious, as each granola piece is more like a crumbly cookie. With little chewing effort, they dissolve into sweet, powdery detritus.

But speaking of cookies, these tasty things taste like ’em, too. More specifically, they taste like misshapen Teddy Grahams. Even more specifically, they taste like my favorite childhood flavor: Maple Brown Sugar Teddy Grahams.

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Wait a minute! Maple Brown Sugar Teddy Grahams never really existed! That’s right: Nature Valley’s Maple Brown Sugar Granola Crunch tastes so much like golden browned sugar and soft, maple-glazed honey grahams that it makes my brain remember snacks that it never even ate.

So even though I’m now quietly wishing for Nabisco to make Maple Brown Sugar Teddy Grahams a reality, these granola bites are tasty enough to fill the void. They’re definitely heavier on the brown sugar than the maple, so don’t expect much more than a syrupy maple twist in the aftertaste. But the subtle, earthy oat flavor gives these bites a very nice oatmeal cookie vibe, which puts a very nice smile on my face.

Every cookie needs milk, so I dunked a bowlful of Granola Crunch in the stuff. As expected, their soft textures absorb milk like brown sugary sponges, producing a sinfully squishy final product that pleasantly amps up the maple taste. Highly recommended.

Nature Valley Cinnamon Granola Crunch

Now on to the less interesting Granola Crunch sibling. Why is Cinnamon so boring? Because, as you probably guessed: it tastes exactly like Cinnamon Teddy Grahams! And I’m 99.99% certain that Cinnamon Teddy Grahams did—and still do—exist.

(The other 0.01% is for the very real possibility that the Men in Black wiped my memories and planted false new memories in their place.)

So there’s nothing bad about Nature Valley’s Cinnamon Granola Crunch. It still has a delicate crumble, a pleasant blend of spicy and sweet cinnamon sugar, and a lightly buttered graham cookie base. Plus, these bites provide a nice crumbly-creamy, spicy-tangy contrast in yogurt, too.

But at the end of the day, there’s just no real reason to pick Cinnamon over the tastier and more unique Maple Brown Sugar variety, unless you:

A) Really hate brown sugar,

B) Are allergic to maple syrup, or

C) Are afraid of getting made fun of for eating Cinnamon Teddy Grahams in public above the age of 12.

Trust me: despite the bullies of the world, you should always proudly eat animal-shaped treats in public spaces, at any age. But if you really do prefer the rougher texture and denser bite of granola bites like these, then I suppose Nature Valley Cinnamon Granola Crunch makes for a good, grown-up versions of Cinnamon Teddy Grahams.

At the very least, you can make your Teddy Grahams climb the big granola pieces like they’re ursine mountaineers.

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The Bowl: Nature Valley Granola Crunch – Cinnamon & Maple Brown Sugar

The Breakdown: Maple Brown Sugar is a unique, oatmeal cookie-graham scramble that could have benefitted from a stronger maple syrup injection. Cinnamon is a little too “safe,” bringing a familiar—but far from memorable—sugared spice to the breakfast table.

The Bottom Line (Maple Brown Sugar): 9 brown sugar Brontosauruses out of 10

The Bottom Line (Cinnamon): 6.5 snack cookie Men in Black out of 10