Why buy G.I. Joe when you can buy G.I. Joe With KUNG-FU Grip? Why watch Blade Runner when you can watch Blade Runner: The Final Cut with the original, full-length unicorn daydream sequence?
And why in the name of all that is good and crunchy would you ever eat regular Oreos when Double Stuf Oreos exist?
Such questions haunted me as I gazed upon Baked Oat Bites, one of three new cereals from Nature Valley. It looks just like Kellogg’s Cracklin’ Oat Bran…but with an additional sugary drizzle.
But I gave Cracklin’ Oat Bran a 10/10, so there lies my conundrum. Is it possible for a new cereal to improve upon perfection, or should the mathematical impossibility of “giving 110%” be left for cheesy sports movies?
It’s time for me to find out. Even if I have to punch a few more holes in my belt to do so. With 210 calories per 3/4 cup, that shouldn’t be hard to do.
Each piece is a cute little cracked oat picture frame with a healthy sprinkling of white goo on top. And their shape is appropriate, because as I finished my first bite of Baked Oat Bites, my mouth formed into a similar gasping rounded rectangle.
This tastes like a superior, glazed Cracklin’ Oat Bran.
I feel like I didn’t make that as dramatic and excited as it deserves to be.
There, that’s better.
But seriously, this cereal is jaw-dropping. Each piece has a mellow, toasted graham crunch, which is followed up by a warm and sweet cinnamon oatmeal flavor.
But unlike in Cracklin’ Oat Bran, the cinnamon spice doesn’t dry out your mouth. That’s because the delectable drizzle on each piece provides a rejuvenating, creamy finish that even has the faint tang of a quality cream cheese frosting. Coupled with the cinnamon notes, this made visions of tiny cinnamon buns dance happily all through my head.
More specifically, it reminded me of the time I tried to recreate Honey Maid’s long-discontinued Bearwiches by extracting Double Stuf Oreo filling and sandwiching it between two Cinnamon Teddy Grahams.
Yeah, last Saturday was fun.
Believe it or not, this isn’t even Baked Oat Bites’ final form, either. Yep, you guessed it: milk makes them better. When soaked in milk, the graham-like exterior becomes soft, crumbly, and doughy, while the oats inside stay crispy.
They’re so crispy, in fact, that when you chew each Oat Bite, the oats crunch and crackle. They even have a pleasant nutty finish, too.
So if these were like mini cinnamon buns at first, in milk they’re like cinnamon buns stuffed with Hostess Crunch Donettes.
Forgive me, because I need to do this again:
You can tell how much I like a cereal based on how many other obscure snack foods I compare it to, and clearly Baked Oat Bites rank highly in this regard. It feels weird giving two 10/10 ratings so close together, but my only gripe with Baked Oat Bites is that they’ll probably make me gain 10 out of 10 pounds.
Congratulations, Baked Oat Bites, you gave 110% and I love you for it. Never before has a cereal so successfully combined spiciness, sweetness, and heartiness.
Speaking of which, if you really want to spice up your upcoming Valentine’s Day, don’t give your sweetheart any raspberry-filled chocolates or heart-shaped chunks of chalk.
Just give your “someone special” a teddy bear stuffed with Baked Oat Bites instead.
The Bowl: Nature Valley Baked Oat Bites
The Breakdown: Like soft cinnamon bun cookies stuffed with crunchy doughnuts and glazed with cream cheese, I can’t think of enough hyperbolic metaphors to do this delicious cereal justice.
The Bottom Line: 10 bootleg Bearwiches out of 10
I loved this cereal so much. Was a favorite of mine and was upset when I no longer could find it on the shelves.
Still not been brought back and i’m still missing them so much. Does anyone remember the chocolate version? We would get both flavors and my kids and I would eat them like snacks!!! Ugh i miss them.
This was seriously the best cereal in the world…not sure why they discontinued it 😭. There is not another cereal out there that compares! Please bring it back!
I want them back, so sad they discontinued:(
I want them back!!!!!!
I called general mills and he confirmed they discontinued this due to unpopularity. So mad. It’s gluten free! Cracklin Oat Bran I can’t have. 🙁
I miss this cereal soon much!!!
It is literally my favorite cereal ever. Emailed them and tweeted them, it is discontinued but I have hopes that one day it’ll come back.
Feel sad just thinking about it, especially when it gets close to holidays.
I first ate this cereal in 2004 and I was eating them everyday for years. All of a sudden I go to find them on the store shelf and they are M.I.A as in discontinued… we hy would they discontinue the best tasting cereal around. I LOVRe this cereal , I would pay $6.00 a box for these… please Start naming these again if nothing else, make them as nd put a little outlet somewhere ,where all of us who really love and crave these can buy them direct. These stores do not know what they are missing g out on….Bring this cereal back please.
My very favorite cereal and can’t find it anywhere. Amazon is out. Walmart doesn’t has it. Where can I get some???? PLEASE
OMG me too! It’s nowhere to be found 🙁
Same!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :((((((((
I emailed them but no reply 🙁
I need it!
Amazon is selling it 3 boxes for $50 thats insane!
these are my son’s favorite & have always been but a year ago or so our local walmarts do not carry them anymore. he wants for nothing & would really like to surprise him for his 20th birthday coming up! he has been through 2 open heart surgeries & a stroke! and he is MY rock! lol so when he DOES ask for something…I need to make it happen! could you please let me know where i could purchase a case online? the website didn’t have any kind of link to do so at least what i could find easily! thanks so much for providing this cereal that over the years has turned into such a memorable gift of joking, laughing, surviving memories! lol the hunt has been hilarious! lol thanks in advance! Brett’s mom! 🙂
Amazon sells them at the moment but its extremely high priced, 3 boxes for $50, if i wasn’t on a diet i would’ve purchased it. Its my favorite cereal
Eating them dry, I agree with the reviewer. But with milk I share the opinion of those who find this cereal lacking. Too mushy too quickly. They need Clark Griswald’s cereal varnish.
These were delicious, but they gave me diarrhea. I’ve tried three different boxes and like clockwork, 5 hours after I eat it I have a violent rush for the toilet. Tell me it’s not just me! And tell me to stop eating it, for goodness sake!
My own opinion. But they were tasteless, mushy, and just overall not a good texture. One factor may be!! Drinking cow milk straight gives me stomach aches, so I use Soy Milk. This may or may not be a deciding factor.
I am disappointed, and agree with Alecia, the cereal does turn to mush very quickly.
Very Disappointed They get to soggy to quick!!! two second after you pour the milk the are like mush!! MAD because i love Nature Valley!!
I agree 100%. The first couple of bites were like Cracklin’ Oat Bran, only sweeter. In no time, however, I had a bowl of mush. This cereal fails.
Don’t ever stop writing about cereal! I have had this in my hand several times but always put them back. I mean…it just looked like an imposter! Buying them tomorrow
Glad you liked the review, and I’m sure you’ll love the cereal!
Alright… i sould stop reading your review while i’m hungry or starving for a good old bowl of cereals after a week of oatmeal. xD
This sounds like an amazing cereal and it also sounds like GM just did an awesome job copying Posts almost perfect (yeah… i have to write “almost”, c’ause i think i would like the “just honey” version better than the chocolate one) “HBO: Chocolate Clusters Kelloggs”, though it seems Kelloggs topped that again and made an even better version of an even better version ^^, and an already awesome job by also copying already really good “oat squares” by creating a perfect cereal. ^^
I really hope GM and nature valley will continue the cereals for a long time, which will give me the chance to get my hands on them 🙂
Thanks for the review as always Dan! (Or not… since i now have to make me a bowl of cereals… ;))
Ha, sorry to make you hungry 😛
why can’t i believe you… :p
^^
Could not agree more. God I looked like a nutcase taking those 7 sample cups from the table at Walmart, but it was worth it. Cracklin Oatbran is good but a bit too bran-ey and cocunuty, but these are perfect.
Ooooh, that gives me an idea. I should do an entire cereal review from what I can sneak away from a free sample counter. The old ladies would be pissed, but it would be worth it for the on-the-spot investigative journalism.