You put the lime in the coconut, you drink ’em both up
Put the lime in the coconut, you drink ’em both up
Put a lime in the coconut, you drink ’em both up

More beautiful musical poetry has never been written. Aside from making us existentially reconsider the frivolity of our corporeal existences, that song also makes me think about two flavors that are grossly underrepresented on cereal shelves. I mentioned last week how little attention blueberry gets in cereal, but lime and coconut get even less.

Now that Trix has ditched artificial flavors, we’ve lost the only lime cereal pieces I can think of. And with lime Skittles forever replaced by awful green apple, it’s a hard time to be a lime fan. Maybe once we all start getting scurvy, cereal companies will amp up the green citrus.

Coconut doesn’t have it much better. Sure, there’s a little coconut in Cracklin’ Oat Bran, and Cap’n Crunch’s cereal bits may be swimming in coconut oil, but ever since Honey Bunches of Oats Tropical Blends Mango Coconut was discontinued, we’ve had no way to get a good bowl of coconut flakes in the morning.

Well, besides lucky Canadians, who still have Cinnamon Coconut Cheerios Plus. And I suppose any Hawaiian could just grab a cheese grater and a ladder.

But now all of that is changing. The second of two new Special K Nourish varieties, Coconut Cranberry Almond teases game-changing coconut flavor, along with a smorgasbord of other taste sensations. Let’s see how it stacks up.

Perhaps you were expecting an extensive breakdown of every piece type here. As much as I’d love to indulge that expectation, I can’t.

Why is that?

Because every single piece here tastes like coconuts.

The multi-grain quinoa flakes? Like crunchy, toasted slices of coconut sweet bread. The almond slivers? Slightly salty coconuts. The oat clusters? Earthy, chewy, and sticky coconut lumps. The cranberries? Juicy coconut wedges.

And the coconut chips? Well they taste a whole lot like Cool Ranch Doritos with a bit of…just kidding, they’re the coconuttiest part, of course!

Seriously, a sugary sweet coconut essence is soaked into every nook and cranny of this Special K cereal, to the point where I could hardly taste anything else. So if you buy this, you better be that kind of dedicated coconut lover who applies coconut hand sanitizer after using coconut dish soap to wash the coconut-shaped novelty dessert plates that recently held towering slices of coconut cream pie.

But those expecting a golden, toasted coconut or an oily, buttery coconut flavor will be disappointed. This cereal only has the tropical and slightly floral taste of sweetened baking coconut shavings: just like the kind you’d find in most coconut cookies.

And speaking of cookies, Special K really ignored some hidden potential here. If they had just replaced the flavorless cranberries with little chocolate nibs, then we would have finally had the Samoas Girl Scout Cookie Cereal that the world so desperately needs.

I’ll forgive them if they just release Tagalongs Cereal next.

Alas, what we’re left with is a cereal with many fun textures, but only one flavor. I find coconut to be a pretty average flavor, so this Special K Nourish was an average cereal in my book. Coconut fans can rejoice, though: their favorite fruit has finally been done its proper cereal justice.

Oh, and in my haste, I forgot to tell you how it tastes with milk!

It tastes like crunchy coconut milk. Big surprise, right? And in other surprising news…

…I’m really, really tired of typing the word coconut.

The Bowl: Special K Nourish Coconut Cranberry Almond

The Breakdown: Coconut fans will go bonkers (trying to avoid obvious puns here), because everything in this cereal just tastes like coconuts wearing cranberry or almond Halloween costumes.

The Bottom Line: 6 petitions for Thin Mints cereal out of 10