I’m glad Raisin Bran Granola is here to keep me moving. No, not that kind of moving, though it does boast 24% of my daily recommended fiber per serving.

No, I mean moving moving. While I may look like a hip and spry youngster, as soon as I pour my morning bowl of Raisin Bran cereal and cup of coffee, I become about as old and slow as Benjamin Button was at my age.

Like a grandpa with his newspaper, I ponder every raisin like there’s a Nietszche quote written in its wrinkles.

But now that Kellogg’s has debuted two flavors of Raisin Bran Granola (this one and Cranberry Almond) in convenient on-the-go pouches, I feel obligated to leave my cereal bowl behind, go climb mountains, and gaze into abysses that will gaze also into me.

Dang it, Nietzsche: stop ruining breakfast!  

Here, gaze at this pile of Raisin Bran Raisin & Honey Granola instead. It’s the granola so nice, they put raisin in the name twice!

Amongst the scattered raisins, darkly toasted puffed rice, and shards of bran flakes, the granola clusters themselves vary in size from adorable niblets to massive nuggets worthy of Fort Knox.

See the big one on the right? I like to call him Chunkers.

Let’s break it down into bits and bites. First, let’s forget about the bran flakes, because they have so little contributing flavor that you’ll likely forget they’re even there, anyway.

As for the raisins, they’re in some weird state of raisin purgatory. See, normal Kellogg’s Raisin Bean cereal has plump raisins that are coated in more sugar than a powdered doughnut. Raisin Bran Crunch raisins, on the other hand, are smaller and less sugar coated, but somehow juicier.

Then we have Raisin Bran Granola raisins. They don’t have any special coating, nor are they oozing with winey fruit flavor. Instead? They’re just raisins. The not-too-exciting kind you’d either find in the hands of that cute Sun-Maid girl or singing in a Californian jazz band.

The puffed rice bits are more interesting than they sound. They’re so deeply roasted and popping with charbroiled rice flavor that you’d think Kellogg’s made them by throwing bowls of Rice Krispies and popcorn into a campfire until their life essences fused into one tasty and toasty whole.

The granola is king here, though. They clusters dominate with a smoky, well-baked oat flavor that often borders on bitter and burnt. There are subtle notes of spicy cinnamon, which combined with the woodsy oats makes for an exciting taste bud joyride. Some of the clusters even have raisins merged into them.

Thankfully, the intense granola is robed in a thick layer of sticky honey. But this ain’t your beekeeping grandma’s sweet as candy honey.

No, this is a dark, brooding, borderline villainous honey. With a darkly browned amber richness, this is like honey that dressed up as molasses for Halloween.

All of Raisin Bran Granola’s components together make for a complex mouthful when eaten together. There are notes of sweetness from the honey, but the rest is so golden toasted—I hesitate to use the word “charred”—that it may be divisive amongst the granola community.

Personally, I liked it. It tasted like the kind of bold backwoods granola Ron Swanson would eat.

For fans of sugar, however, all is not lost. Putting Raisin Bran Granola in milk balances the edgier flavors with a pleasant creamy sweetness. It also makes it kind of boring, though, as most of the more eccentric taste notes become muted. The way you decide to eat it is up to you, but I think I’ll keep bare-fisting dry handfuls of it.

After all, when my hands are coated in sticky honey, it’s easier to climb those mountains.

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The Bowl: Kellogg’s Raisin Bran Raisin & Honey Granola

The Breakdown: An extremely roasted, but nonetheless intriguing and molasses-esque, granola that’s low on raisin flavor but high on golden brown-ness and oxymoronic savory-sweetness.

The Bottom Line: 7.5 childhood crushes on the Sun-Maid raisin girl out of 10

(Quick Nutrition Facts: 200 calories, 6 grams of fiber, 15 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein per 2/3 cup serving)