It’s perfectly normal for a grown man to stress-sweat over diacritic placement, right? I remember when Pokémon first arrived on U.S. shores, and no one could figure out what to do with that funky mark over the e. Then a generation of kids learned to use hexadecimal code on our LiveJournals and all was right with the world. Well, what’s old is new again with the drop of this (figurative and literal) loot box. Blizzard has teamed up with Kellogg’s to extrude a veritable Winston of a cereal.

He’s a super-intelligent gorilla. It’s a genetic engineering joke.

And while the character’s vowel woes are only just beginning, I have to express a personal appreciation for the lack of incorrect apostrophe here. Ever wonder what happens to literature majors who manage to land a summer internship with Kellogg’s? Apparently they get to name cereals. Good on you for not going the Honey Oh’s route, anonymous typist! And we didn’t even have to sit through a diatribe about postmodern travel literature to enjoy it.

The promotion is fairly straightforward: buy a box of Lucio-Ohs (see, we’ve dropped the accent mark already because convenience… and search engines) and upload a photo of your receipt to the Kellogg’s website to receive an extra in-game loot boost. With normal loot coming at $2/box, it’s not the most cost-sensitive way to up your chances at anything legendary. As the man says, though, sometimes you’ve got to give yourself to the rhythm.

Speaking of which, Lucio is hardly an intuitive choice. We’ll probably never find out how the decision was made, and that means every night for the rest of my life I have to stare at the ceiling, wondering what Caramel Wrecking Balls might have been. Instead, the loops here are seemingly meant to represent sonic waves. Per Lucio’s default color scheme and Brazilian nationality (perhaps making him the most diverse cereal mascot on shelves at present), they’re yellow and green, so of course that means a rare lemon-lime cereal.

Except they’re not. Forgive my ‘90s kid nostalgia, but shouldn’t “Sonic Vanilla” be blue? And of all the flavors one associates with Brazil, vanilla is nowhere near the top of the leaderboard. It’s best not to judge a box by its enhanced-to-show texture, though, so let’s spawn up a bowl.

They’re Froot Loops. I’d know those puffy, slightly-glazed corn flour circlets anywhere. So no bonus points for style. On first bite, my socks remain firmly un-rocked. They’re very sweet. In fact, the taste is only faintly vanilla compared to the up-front, body, and follow-through of sugar’s one-note presentation. Eaten dry, Lucio-Ohs are the very definition of unremarkable. Let’s hope milk unlocks some kind of level boost.

Unexpectedly, there’s something going one here. Propped up with milk, Lucio-Ohs almost perfectly mimic the flavor of Rice Krispies Treats Cereal. There’s a subtle hint at marshmallow flavoring, just a trace of vanilla extract, and the full-force hit provided by glazed sweetness. I want to like this moment of nostalgia. There’s a disconcerting amount of cognitive dissonance that prevents a full-on trip to the old JC Penney Christmas catalog, however, and that’s just a shame. Branding aside, it’s strange to see lemon-lime colors with Froot Loops mouthfeel and Rice Krispies Treats taste all at once.

So while there’s nothing outright unpleasant about this bizarre reskin of a classic cereal mainstay, the confluence of so much familiarity is, paradoxically, too loud for a remarkable and new offering. If Kellogg’s had just changed one or two elements (Lemon/Lime Froot Loops, Lucio Krispy Treats, maybe even Froot Krispies?) instead of all three, then I might be more on-board for this groove train. The uneventful and texturally-confused result here is just too much going on and not enough creativity to make it a box worth seeking out. Kellogg’s may want to avoid using so many familiar components in future cross-promotions.

That’s how you get tinnitus.

The Bowl: Kellogg’s Overwatch Lúcio-Ohs Cereal

The Breakdown: Another missed innovation opportunity for Kellogg’s, this blatant grab for credits is easily forgotten unless you’re desperate and deprived of Rice Krispies Treats Cereal.

The Bottom Line: 5 Synesthesia World Tours out of 10