This summer: Brendan Fraser returns in the prequel to the sequel that no one was asking for. Have you ever wondered about the origins of the Origins?

No? Well too bad.

Because it’s about to get real nutty up in here.

That’s right, last time I reviewed a flavor of Kellogg’s Origins, I likened the name to a Brendan Fraser movie. And like any sequel, this second flavor in Kellogg’s new health-focused line of grain cereals is fraught with disappointment, sadness, and…cranberries?

As before, a cutout section on the box’s front gives a sneak peek into the bag’s contents. So don’t worry: there’s actually cereal inside. Kellogg’s isn’t trying to trick you into buying a box full of gravel and old Beanie Babies.

The tiny golden corn flakes are light and brittle enough that they could be tree dandruff. And they kinda taste like it, too. They’re earthy and mealy, but their lack of any discernible sweetness makes them more cardboard-like and gritty than wholesome and pleasant. There are also darker brown bran flakes, and one could say their flavor is a bit darker and richer, but when I shoveled a spoonful of both into my mouth, I couldn’t pick out the taste amongst the homogenous mush of maize and grain.

There are also puffed wheat pieces, as well as loose oats that add an unnecessary chew, but they, too, add so little flavor that I didn’t even realize they were there until closely analyzing the box. Think of them as the white rice in this Chinese food melting pot of cereal ingredients. (Note to self: invent “General TsO’s Sweet ‘N’ Sour Cereal”)

But the real problem comes with the “fruit & nuts.” For some unfathomable reason, Kellogg’s decided to choose dried cranberries and walnuts to fulfill their fruit & nut quota. You may be thinking, “wow, I rarely see those ingredients in cereal!” And there’s a good reason for that: cranberries and walnuts are the bland, lame-o rejects of their respective families, with neither of them carrying enough distinctive flavor to stand out on the cereal eater’s palate. So outside of some niche cereals, they remain as the seldom seen black sheep they were born to be.

Not only do they photograph about as well as a pair of deflated lungs, but these little dried red niblets are also even chewier than the puffed pieces. They like to get uncomfortably wedged in the crevasses of my teeth, as if they were starring in some cranberry-based remake of 127 Hours.

The berries only have a faint ghost of the tangy, puckering juiciness you’d expect. Instead, they are strangely waxy, as if the food scientist in charge of making the cereal misheard the call for “cranberries” as “crayonberries.”

Likewise, the small walnut shards have a hollow crunch and a ho-hum flavor that bears notes of salty nuttiness that quickly fade behind the flakes’ wheat flavor. Sorry walnuts, but there’s a good reason everyone’s grandma puts out bowls of mixed nuts for the family Christmas party only to find shallow dishes filled exclusively with unwanted walnut chunks at the end of the night.

Kellogg’s had the perfect opportunity to choose some real cereal stars here. Had they chosen raisins and almonds—the tasty a-team of cereal fruits and nuts—this cereal coulda been a contender. But instead, the cranberries and walnuts form a slipshod b-team that comes off like a bootlegged version of Trail Mix.

Fail Mix, anyone?

But wait! All hope is not lost. After dousing my bowl with milk and ruminating over it for awhile, I came back to find that the resulting soggy mass actually makes a surprisingly decent oatmeal/muesli facsimile. It may still look about as appetizing as the vomit of The Great Deku Tree, but letting the cereal sit with that magical white elixir creates a passable (albeit mushy) confection that has an interesting molasses sweetness and a hint of savory saltiness from the nuts.

So while I can’t recommend buying a box of Kellogg’s Origins Fruit & Nut Blend on the surface, if you insist on taking the plunge, be sure to add milk to make it at least bearable.

But let’s just say that if you take it as a camping trip snack and you’re approached by an angry Grizzly who requires a sacrifice of food, you better say goodbye to your left arm, because this cereal isn’t that kind of bear-able.

The Bowl: Kellogg’s Origins Fruit & Nut Blend

The Breakdown: Tastes like crayons and tree bark at first, but milk makes it into an ugly, yet palatable muesli. Just don’t…stare at it too long.

The Bottom Line: 4 gravel-stuffed Beanie Babies out of 10