So this is what Smorz died for?

Of course, Smorz was resurrected this January through some happy cereal voodoo, but times were darker before then. When Kellogg’s announced in 2013 that Smorz was being replaced by Krave S’Mores after 10 years as a fan favorite, tempers were more fiery than a misplaced campfire marshmallow. Smorz fans everywhere treated Krave S’Mores like the brother-murdering, ugly Uncle Claudius of the cereal aisle.

Krave in general has a dedicated camp who vocally dislike it, but as an equally vocal defender of the Krave brand, I felt the need to stand up for Krave S’Mores. When kids complained to their mothers in the cereal aisle, I flipped over shopping carts to send a message. When people spoke ill of Krave S’Mores petitions online, I “Rickrolled” every single one of them.

Okay, neither of these are true. But I did Rickroll myself once. Somehow.

But do Krave S’Mores deserve my “Pedro’s cousins from Napoleon Dynamite” levels of protection? Let’s risk it for the chocolatey marshmallow-filled biscuit and find out.

Compared to Chocolate or Double Chocolate Krave pieces, the bulbous graham biscuits of Krave S’Mores are much chunkier. Maybe the pudgy little buggers just cannibalized all the Smorz back in 2013, forcing a three year shortage.

However, dissection reveals that their larger size just means a denser shell instead of more filling. Munching the pleasantly golden pillows, they have a strong graham flour base, chock full of sweet wheat bran and a touch of browned sugar.

It’s hard to describe the intensity of this cereal’s graham-iness, but I will say Krave S’Mores is right up there with the inventor of the telephone and the childhood nickname you gave your grandma. Unfortunately, the pieces lack the buttery honey kiss of a genuine, s’more-worthy graham cracker or bowl of Golden Grahams.

Once I mine through several layers of raw graham ore, I reach the mythic chocolate and marshmallow core. The marshmallow is very sweet and sugary, but it doesn’t have the sticky vanilla touch of, say, Jet-Puffed or Stay Puft.

Meanwhile, the chocolate is the cereal’s standout star. It’s milky, creamy, and probably made from 100% pure Fudgsicle extract. I just wish there were more of it; with how chintzy Kellogg’s is with the chocolate ribbons, you’d think unadulterated fudge essence costs more per ounce than printer ink.

Krave isn’t made to be eaten dry, though. Just like how I roast a glass of milk over the fire before every s’more (wait, you guys don’t do this?), I add some milk to my bowl of mini s’mores, too.

The thirsty graham shells suck up the milk, and they take on a nice “milk-dunked cookie” texture and taste: doughy, golden, and sweet. The chocolate, too, has its Fudgiscle-ness made even more Fudgsicle-y, as the added milk mimics that treat’s ice cream innards.

But it’s not all good in the milky hood. Maybe the comparisons to Claudius (or at least Benedict Arnold) aren’t unfounded, because the treacherous and jealous marshmallow overwhelms its tasty brethren with its excessively fluffy, one-note, and slightly cloying sweetness. It’s a tragic betrayal worthy of Shakespeare: Julius Caesar in particular.

Et tu, ‘mallow?

So maybe the petitioners and Rickroll-recipients were right: Krave S’Mores really can’t compare to Smorz. However, Smorz also can’t compare to Madagascar S’Mores Jungle Party. And wait, S’Mores Jungle Party is nothing compared to the legendary (but long discontinued) S’Mores Crunch!

It seems there’s a pretty well-defined “S’Mores Cereal Hierarchy” in place, and Krave S’Mores finds itself wallowing in squalor at the bottom of the totem pole. I bet all the other s’mores cereals make Krave S’Mores fetch them coffee. Poor Guy.

But the truth is, while parts of it are good, Krave S’Mores just lacks too much. There’s no touch of honey in the graham, no vanilla in the marshmallow, and just not enough chocolate in them altogether. They certainly don’t pass my personal test for a good s’mores snack—the patented “Do They Taste Like Ritz Bits S’Mores?” challenge.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0dMoZhDKxA

And yes, I do watch this commercial every darn time I hear the word “s’mores.”

Best. Commercial. Ever!

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The Bowl: Krave S’Mores

The Breakdown: Gooey Hershey’s-esque chocolate can’t save this cereal from its honey draught and marshmallow overload. You’re better off scooping marshmallow fluff onto some Golden Grahams.

The Bottom Line: 5.5 bottles of “concentrated Fudgsicle souls” out of 10

(Quick Nutrition Facts: 120 calories, 3 grams of fiber, 10 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein per 3/4 cup serving)