I wish Kellogg’s two new “Soda-licious” Pop-Tarts (Crush Orange and A&W Root Beer) were released in 2020.

Why?

Because that’s when the new Godzilla vs. Kong film is set to debut, and these two flavors would be the perfect movie tie-in. I can see it now: Kong’s Gorilla Sarsaparilla Pop-Tarts vs. Godzilla’s Atomic Crush Orange Pop-Tarts.

Batman vs. Superman, eat your hearts out.

That “Atomic” label is especially appropriate, because as I quickly found out when eating these toaster pastries, Kellogg’s didn’t just go orange. They went explosively radioactive orange.

Each pastry has a charming orange swirl, reminiscent of the artistic smear that food artists do when plating sauces. I nibbled on the golden crust and quite enjoyed it—as usual, using the classic, crumbly and buttery Pop-Tarts crust worked better than any flavored crust probably would’ve.

As for the insides? Yep, they’re orange. When sucked down raw, the nuclear Conan O’Brien hair-colored filling tastes just like a sticky Orange Starburst that Gallagher went to town on with his hammer. I’m not very familiar with the taste of Crush Orange soda (in fact, I thought it was always called Orange Crush), but the artificial and sweet tangerine taste here is rather pleasant.

Don’t get me wrong: if you’re not a fan of fake orange, you won’t be into these. But as an ardent defender of the orange Popsicle (which was always the least popular of the three in my household), I’m charmed by it.

Speaking of which, the vanilla sugar icing on each Tart blends with the citrus flavor to turn the whole Pop-Tart into a flaky Dreamsicle.

Desiring to find out what would happen if I melted my flaky Dreamsicle (a fitting metaphor for all of my life’s Crushed dreams), I crammed it into the toaster.

Uh, better call Mr. Burns, because we’re having a Code Orange meltdown.

This blinding orange lava had a zestier tang, much like a certain powdered juice beverage favored by orangutan mascots and astronauts alike. It was almost a little too biting and sickly sweet even for me. Meanwhile, the toasty and tasty crust corners made a sandy mess in my carpet. Dang.

After a 4 hour polar plunge in my freezer, my next package of Crush Orange Pop-Tarts emerged from cryostasis better than ever. With a creamy vanilla chew, a syrupy orange center that melts in your mouth, and a floury crust that functions like a sugar crystal-infused wooden stick, my frozen pastries tasted so much like a Creamsicle that the Man of Popsicle will soon be knocking on Tony the Tiger’s door with a team of lawyers and a cease and desist letter.

It’s like his slogan says: “If it’s Popsicle, it’s probable cause!”

I didn’t expect to like these as much as I did. Since I’ve heard some pretty critical comments about this flavor, I’ll repeat my warning: fans of Crush Orange soda, lovers of Velma Scooby-Doo fruit snacks, and Kel from Kenan & Kel will be all over these Pop-Tarts, but those put off by slightly puckering citrusy flavors in their breakfast treats may be left feeling sour.

As for me, I’ll keep happily snacking on mine while I write passive aggressive letters to Legendary Pictures about my Godzilla vs. Kong idea. I mean c’mon: at least give the big ape a banana flavored Pop-Tart!

The “Bowl:” Kellogg’s Frosted Crush Orange Pop-Tarts

The Breakdown: The spot-on candied orange flavor of these pastries will no doubt be divisive, but for clementine clamorers like me, these Pop-Tarts are a Dreamsicle come true.

The Bottom Line: 8.5 missed opportunities for Canada Dry Ginger Ale Pop-Tarts out of 10

(Quick Nutrition Facts: 200 calories, <1 gram of fiber, 15 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein per 1 pastry serving)

***Our friends at Junk Banter reviewed these, too. Check out their thoughts!***