Last episode on: “Cerealously’s Milk-Soaked Adventures in Breakfast World”

Dan was not thrilled with Mini-Wheats Cranberry Harvest Delights. When the Mini-Wheats attacked, Dan attempted to coax some sense of goodness out of the cough syrupy cranberry purée buried deep into each  tumbleweed of a biscuit. But their mere kiss of yogurt flavor was not enough.

As a result, Dan was ready to kiss the Harvest Delights brand goodbye, until an impartial jury of Internet commenters convinced him to give the Blueberry Vanilla variety a try. Apprehensive, hungry, and—for some reason—a little sweaty, Dan conceded.

We now join our cereal hero (we only call him a hero because he likes hero sandwiches), already locked into a stare down with a box of Mini-Wheats Blueberry Vanilla Harvest Delights.

I can’t say I’m excited to try this cereal, but it’s a crying shame that blueberry is so underrepresented in the cereal aisle. So it’s worth giving every blueberry cereal its time in the limelight (poor limes: they may have the light, but they don’t have any cereals).
On the surface, these Harvest Delights biscuits look just like their cranberry ancestors (I hope you can appreciate my restraint at not making a cheap “crancestors” pun. I guess you could say that would be…going for the low-hanging fruit). The only difference is the deep indigo bits that peek out from inside.

Munching on one of them, the blueberry nuggets are actually pretty good. Their sweet blueberry jam flavor and gel-like consistency make them taste like Kellogg’s Blueberry Fruity Snacks that someone tried to make raisins out of.

The problem is that these dried jelly bits are buried deep inside a tasteless shell of red wheat. I’m no wheatologist, so I couldn’t tell you the difference between red wheat, buckwheat, and Buckwheat from Little Rascals, but the wheat here is particularly bland.

As for the vanilla yogurt drizzle? Well they say beauty is only skin deep, and the fleeting vanilla sweetness here can’t redeem the grainy brick that lies beneath it, either.

So I tried pouring some milk all over my blueberry biscuits. Go ahead, say “blueberry biscuits” out loud a few times. I promise it’ll make your day at least 16% better. After I said it enough times to frighten the people who live below me, I bit into a milk-soaked Mini-Wheat.

The good news is that it didn’t taste like cherry cough syrup like the cranberry kind did. The bad news is that it kind of tasted like one of those menthol cough drops that they add “tropical” flavor to to make kids more likely to choke it down.

After the biscuits sat in the milk for a long time, they started to taste a little better, as the moistened yogurt glaze eventually created a pleasant, sticky vanilla aftertaste.

Overall, Blueberry Vanilla Harvest Delights are certainly better than Cranberry. But that’s like saying Attack of the Clones was certainly better than The Phantom Menace. It may be a true statement, but in either case, you’re better off sticking with the originals: A New Hope and a bowl of Frosted Blueberry Mini-Wheats. If you simply must try these Harvest Delights, you’re probably best off eating them dry as part of a wholesome cereal trail mix.

Or you could just dissect each biscuit, scrape out the filling, and
squish every blueberry bit together into a single egg-sized wad of blueberry taffy.

That’ll keep the kids busy on a rainy afternoon.

The Bowl: Blueberry with Vanilla Drizzle Mini-Wheats Harvest Delights

The Breakdown: The faint flavor of delicious dehydrated blueberry fruit snacks kept me munching, but boring wheat and a drizzle that fizzles make this cereal largely forgettable.

The Bottom Line: 5.5 shameful crancestors out of 10