Despite the cornu-copious stacks of Thanksgiving leftovers filling my fridge like a game of tupperware Jenga, after Hot Turkey Sandwich #3, I’m left hungry for something simpler. Something that doesn’t need 45 seconds in the microwave and then 45 more seconds in the microwave because the outside didn’t feel hot but the inside is secretly fiery magma that’s about to give my tongue a sizzling suplex.

And what exactly is that something? Well take one more look at the name of this website and then guess.

That’s right: I need some cereal!

And since I’ve already reviewed the most Thanksgiving-y cereal on store shelves, I’m gonna sit my buns down on the couch-y and snuggle up with a different bowl of Kashi. Since the days are growing shorter and colder, it felt right to go with Honey Sunshine. Besides, with Black Friday upon us, we certainly could use a little sunshine.

I pour a tall, radiant bowl of these tiny, pale gold Pilgrim’s belt buckles (gotta make the Thanksgiving connection somewhere, right?), and while their overall shape is similar to Cap’n Crunch, Honey Sunshine pieces are way lumpier (they look like the golden love child of a Thwomp and the Michelin Man). Yet, they also have a very smooth, graham cracker-esque mouthfeel. So while the Cap’n’s barbed bear traps can shred your mouth like a bowl of milky cheese graters, Honey Sunshine will kiss the boo-boos like a loving cereal grandma.

I take a hearty nosh of the dry Mayflower sails (now I’m pushing it, I know), and I suddenly believe in love at first taste. The golden, toasted sticky sweetness of the pieces’ honey glaze gives a kiss of sweetness to the dense and crumbly base. The base itself is no sleeper either: there’s a perfect balance of hearty oat, grainy corn, and wheat-y wheat.

I…kinda ran out of steam with that last adjective.

When I first shower the smiling squares in milk, they become even more delightful. The glaze becomes syrupy and more potent, and the baked-in honey flavor of the base is beautifully moisturized, multiplied, intensified, and other hyperbolic “-ed” verbs that you’d probably be more likely to hear in a commercial for hair care products.

But if I love it so much, why is Honey Sunshine not so sunnily received by others? Well, nearly every critique I’ve read about the cereal angrily complains about how it tastes nothing like Cap’n Crunch. To those people I say: why would you expect it to?(??) The box makes no reservations about being a Cap’n clone, and the title literally says “Honey” in 48pt font, whereas the Cap’n’s honey-free loot is drenched purely in oily brown sugar gooeyness.

So when trying Honey Sunshine, please, leave your nautical expectations at the dock. Then maybe you’ll realize that Honey Sunshine is its own beautiful little soul that doesn’t deserve to live in the shadow of its crunchy older brother who it wasn’t even related to in the first place! Rant = over.

If there is one gripe I have with these, it’s that they go soggy pretty fast. Maybe the Cap’n just torpedoed them out of jealousy, but after a short time in milk, these puppies become unpleasantly spongy, and the glory of their honey flavor gets diluted by the deluge of creamy milk. Of course, I usually remedy this problem by rapidly sucking them down like the anthropomorphized vacuum cleaner I am, but for the more methodical or philosophical cereal eater, you may be left with a bowl half empty rather than a bowl half full, if you know what I mean.

But that doesn’t stop Honey Sunshine from earning a near permanent spot in my pantry. Its high fiber and low sugar lets me feel good about gulping down sun-kissed squares even after dinner, dessert, second dessert, leftover scavenging, and third dessert.

So here’s to you, Honey Sunsh…oh, fourth dessert? Don’t mind if I do!

The Bowl: Kashi Honey Sunshine

The Breakdown: Strong honey flavor and complex, multi-grain base make for an innocent treat that still packs a tasty punch. Just don’t come in expecting Cap’n Crunch’s healthy little brother.

The Bottom Line: 9 missed “punny honey” puns out of 10