I remember a simpler time. A time we call…elementary school.

Back in those days of yore, the lunchroom took upon its own savage ecosystem, with rivaling table kingdoms each simultaneously isolated in their rituals and customs but also warring and bartering with neighbors. Within each kingdom was a long-developed economy of trade, in which treats brought from home carried value that could only be priced in terms of other foods. And like a real economy, these values were ever-fluctuating.

But there was one processed snack that never deviated in its worthiness as edible currency: Fruit Roll-Ups.

While a plastic baggie of half-crumbled cookies may have been worth 3 pre-packaged fruit cups one day and nothing but stale graham crackers the next (after the crash of the unpredictable schoolyard stock market on Oreos, most likely), Fruit Roll-Ups were the gold standard. They never failed to attract the attention of brown paper bag-toting snack brokers everywhere.

And now? They’re going Halloween!

General Mills has brought back to shelves Franken Berry and Boo Berry editions of the thin, gelatinous sheets. Once again, the Count is left out of the Roll-Up lineup, probably because the very idea of “chocolate fruit snacks” is enough to set off the U.N.’s “Crime Against Humanity Alarm.” Unfortunately, it seems like the Count’s spin-off snack alternative—Count Chocula Treats—is also still in hibernation for the time being.

I’m not sure how much (if at all) the Roll-Ups were changed from previous versions, because even though the box art seems to fit in with this year’s Monster Cereal boxes (and they do also work with the Blippar app), the wrappers on the Roll-Ups feature last year’s comic book artwork, while the Roll-Ups themselves feature the even older, cartoony depictions of Frank and Boo. But rather than get upset by this, I’m simply happy I get another chance to appreciate the gorgeous artwork of years past.

The two flavors, Frank’s “Strawberry Scream” and Boo’s “Razzle Boo Blitz,” seem to act independently from those of their respective cereals. And interestingly, the ingredients list for both Roll-Ups feature “Pears from Concentrate” as the first ingredient.

Wait, pears? You mean the bulbous, mealy cousin of apples that I’ve made fun of for years? Alright pears, I guess you’ve got one more chance to impress me. Make it count, because your fruity reputation depends on it.

First up is Strawberry Scream. This is an appropriate name, because as soon as I pry open the tempting foil tube, the scent of artificial strawberry screeches at me with the intensity of a banshee that just stubbed her toe. Unfolding the roll reveals an intensely blood red sheet of stickiness that is adorned with various pictures of Franken Berry himself.

Biting into it, it immediately sticks to my teeth, the roof of my mouth, and every other square centimeter of my throat, too. It imparts a strong syrupy sweetness that is, at first, reminiscent of every other strawberry candy you’ve had. But after chewing, other artificial fruits rear their delicious heads too, as subtle notes of green apple, cherry, and raspberry emerge. Its like someone took a hammer to a package of Scooby-Doo fruit snacks and turned them into one flat Monster Mash of blended fruit flavor.

Altogether, its a fun onslaught of flavors, but the stickiness and sweetness might prove too sickly and overpowering for anyone over the age of 12. Not to mention the fact that floss is absolutely essential if you don’t want to spend the rest of your day doing that awkward thing where you use your tongue to probe and excavate red flecks from the crevasses of your teeth. We’ve all been there.

The Boo Berry-covered Razzle Boo Blitz, on the other hand? No flavor variability here. It’s straight blue raspberry: loud and proud, through and through. The mega sweetness of Frank’s favor is instead replaced by a puckering tang that follows up with a more mellow berry aftertaste. Nonetheless, the tingling left behind by the raspberry will leave your tongue salivating more than Pavlov’s dog after hearing Carol of the Bells (and the “Laziest Analogy of the Day” award goes to…)

I feel the need to give this flavor an obscure snack food comparison, too. It’s a sweeter blue raspberry than a blue Jolly Rancher: it’s more like someone took a Berry Blue Kool-Aid Burst and, through some complex alchemy, turned it into a chewy, squishy roll.

Overall, Razzle Boo Blitz is an even more intense palette experience than Strawberry Scream, so mature, easily offended tongues need not apply.

I’m finding it hard to choose a favorite between the two, but my love of strawberry ultimately leaves me favoring Frank’s Roll-Up. So while these treats give an enjoyable, sugar and artificial fruit-packed blast from the past, they also represent the worst nutritional aspect of childhood snacks. They’re incredibly light, and like Boo Berry himself, once all is said and eaten you’ll be left with nothing but wrappers and the lingering, syrupy ghost of a Roll-Up plastering your throat.

Your stomach will probably be howling for more, too, as they aren’t very filling. So prepare to either eat an entire box (and have your dentist on speed dial), or have a bowl of actual Monster Cereal on standby.

But I don’t want to think about all that. I just want to put on the rose-tinted goggles of nostalgia (or maybe I’ll just put Franken Berry Fruit Roll-Ups over my eyes) and lose myself in happy flashbacks of lunchroom breadstick heists and Teddy Graham triumphs.

The “Bowl:” Franken Berry and Boo Berry Fruit Roll-Ups

The Breakdown: Both are heavy on the artificial flavor, which creates a double-edged sword of fun fruitiness followed by mouth uncomfortableness and funky aftertaste. Long story short: childhood in a foil wrapper. 

The Bottom Line (both flavors): 7 redeemed pears (your reputation is intact, for now) out of 10 for both