Anybody else see this?
No?
Well, while we were all out funkin’ and drunken slam dunkin’, Dunkin’ Donuts was slunkin’. Smooth as cold brew, they slunk two whole Cereal & Milk Lattes onto their menu without any fervor or fanfare. Even I wouldn’t’ve heard about ’em if not for Stewart M. tweeting at me.
@cerealouslynet Just got this from Dunkin Donuts: pic.twitter.com/RAfn1FAqR6
— Stewart Mogg (@Moggsster) August 23, 2021
Turns out the reason these drinks are so hard to find out about, is because they’re hard to find in general. These lattes are test market items only available in Detroit, MI; Wheeling, WV; Pittsburgh, PA; Oklahoma City, OK; as well as Houston, Dallas, & San Antonio, Texas. So while I apologize to all who won’t be able to try Dunkin’s Cereal & Milk Lattes without great geographic difficulty, hot diggity darn: for like the first time in test market history, I’m near one of them! I can’t help but notice that West Virginia is also on the list, leading me to believe Dunkin’ was deliberately targeting cereal’s two foremost meditative cereal podcasters.
Long story short, I bought the Cinnamon Cereal & Milk Latte. Even though the Marshmallow one is more visually appealing, I feel like marshmallow flavoring in addition to the “sweet cold foam” would just be redundant. But how was it? Well, that’s more of a medium story…medium.
Sorry, I shouldn’t have even drawn it out: I weirdly hate this Cinnamon Cereal & Milk Latte. Like, I am actively repulsed by it.
The cinnamon profile is just so off. Despite Dunkin’ claiming they use real cinnamon cereal in the milk and crumbled topping alike, this latte tastes several voids’ worth of nothing like any cinnamon cereal I’ve ever eaten. This cinnamon is sharp, sizzling, nutty, and almost floral. Reminds me way more of a Cinnamon & Clove Yankee Candle than Cinnamon Toast Crunch. While this very well sound appetizing to your palate, it’s really not my thing, especially as it surprise-attacked my CTC-expecting taste buds like a glass of vodka your brain thinks is Sierra Mist.
So quickly was I put off by this that I stopped drinking my Cinnamon Cereal & Milk Latte altogether before I was even halfway through—a rare moment for me, since I usually still suck down what my money paid for, even if it’s not the best. Though my ceremonial latte sink-dumping was more caused by the fact that the cereal milk Dunkin’ uses in these is an actual pre-packaged thing sent to stores, meaning it’s impossible to get a dairy-free Cereal & Milk Latte, and meaning I wasn’t about to add gastric catastrophe to this latte’s long list of sins. Especially since I was saving that distress for Baskin-Robbins on the way home.
Maybe I’m making an unfair conclusion here—maybe since this is a new and relatively obscure menu item, my Cinnamon Cereal & Milk Latte wasn’t made right. After all, people in the DD subreddit seem to like it, but ultimately I can only judge this latte on the data I have. Unless you enjoy a veritable potpourri of cinnamon in your coffee, I’d say maybe give the Marshmallow Cereal & Milk Latte a shot instead. It may be the safer, more vanilla bet, but I don’t want to see you suffer the same fate as me.
But hey, at least the sweet cold foam tasted good, as it balmed my spice-scourged taste buds.
The “Bowl:” Dunkin’ Cinnamon Cereal & Milk Latte
The Breakdown: An aggressively earthy, herbal, and sharply spiced brew, I wouldn’t touch this one with a ten-foot scented pinecone.
The Bottom Line: 1 ever-flowing spice out of 10