Is there anything more romantic than a bowlful of crunchy oat hearts?

Valentine’s Day is coming up, and I recommend that you treat your something special to a magical—and dare I say, hearty—breakfast of heart-shaped Disney Princess Cereal, heart-shaped pancakes, heart-shaped egg-in-the-basket, and a glass of orange juice with a surprise handful of Conversation Hearts at the bottom.

Okay, that last one might be a bad idea. Unless you want your significant other tearing your heart out, Kali Ma-style.

Sorry if that introduction to Kellogg’s newest marshmallowy movie cereal felt forced. It was either that or three terrible verses of “A Bowl New World.”

But enough wordplay and questionable relationship advice. What you need to know is that Kellogg’s has four new Disney Princess Cereal boxes out on shelves. Each is glitteringly holographic enough to make the FAA nervous, and each features a different animated heroine: Belle, Jasmine, Rapunzel, or Ariel. But in a sad inversion of what every inspiring guidance counsellor has ever told me, each uniquely colorful box is the exact same inside.

It’s a familiar mix of oat bits and marshmallows, but unlike Kellogg’s old cookie-cutter movie cereals or even their mildly different Moana and Despicable Me cereals, Disney Princess Cereal’s pieces have a fresh flavor: strawberry.

Of course, strawberries and marshmallows is only a new combo for Kellogg’s, not new for breakfast cereal. Somewhere out there, Franken Berry weeps: “Me want to be princess,” he groans, as he browses Craigslist’s Missed Connections section for his knight in shining neck bolts.

And speaking of forgotten princesses: man, Strawberry Shortcake is gonna be mad. Why? Because Disney Princess Cereal tastes just like her namesake dessert in crunchy, bite-sized form.

Sure, these beige hearts—or are they massive lips?—aren’t as potent, punchy, or taste bud-caressingly sweet as a real summertime shortcake, but their golden-toasted and golden-sugared oat flour base brings to mind the browned crumbliness of an an actual puff pastry shortcake. Meanwhile, the cereal’s faint yellow corn flour notes remind me of cornbread shortbread.

But no matter your preference about starchy things that start with “short-“, it’s the strawberry glaze on Disney Princess Cereal that makes it a worthy date for your morning breakfast ball. Less “straight off the plant” and more “straight out of the Smucker’s bottle,” this is a candied, syrupy strawberry taste that reminds me of jelly, Jello-O, and Jelly-Slathered Jell-O (a budget-friendly, last minute dessert I invented that I would not recommend bringing to a potluck).

Though this fruit flavor is tasty, it faces the same problem Kellogg’s Apple Strawberry Raisin Bran Crunch does: if you become a power-hungry monarch and try to eat too much, too fast, the strawberry coating becomes oddly medicinal. In this case, my Ursula-sized spoonfuls had the menthol edge of a Hall’s cough drop.

That’s okay, because eating it slowly gives you more time to achieve this cereal’s crucial oat-to-marshmallow ratio. Balance is important, because the creamily sugared marbits act like whipped cream dollops on your regal shortcake. Their mushy chew is uncomfortable, and there are only two marshmallow shapes instead of Kellogg’s usual three, but these crown and princess ‘mallows make up for their deficits with uniquely calming hues that remind me of Pantone’s 2016 colors of the year.

Not to mention how the princess faces are the biggest cereal marbits I’ve ever seen. If I had two Teddy Grahams and a lone Hershey’s square, I could make the world’s cutest mini s’more.

Like Beauty and the Beast or Jasmine and a two-for-one Home Depot carpet sale, Disney Princess Cereal and milk make a great pair. Milk may subdue the strawberry’s syrupy strength, but it also removes its cough-suppressing aftertaste. Milk also gives the hearts and marbits a more doughy shortcake texture, making the final product taste more like a Dairy Queen Strawberry Shortcake Blizzard than the real dessert.

It’s ironic that a princess cereal tastes queenly, and I sure wouldn’t hold it upside-down, but Disney Princess Cereal is definitely Kellogg’s best movie cereal yet. It has its flaws, but this cereal’s sundae-friendly strawberry taste makes it a perfect topping for any type of strawberry-flavored liquid or semi-solid: ice cream, yogurt, kefir, concentrated pie filling, melted Fruit Gushers, or whatever floats your oats.

As for me, I’m gonna grab some syrup, some Bisquick, and some cereal crumbs and sing “I’ll Make a (Strawberry) Pancake Out of You.”

The Bowl: Kellogg’s Disney Princess Cereal

The Breakdown: With occasional Nyquil notes, wimpy ‘mallows, and milk-soluble fruitiness, Disney Princess Cereal isn’t perfect. But with the right balance of hearts, marshmallows, and a beverage of your choice, it has a delectable shortcake flavor that’d drive Franken Berry back to culinary school.

The Bottom Line: 7 Rose Quartz & Serenity sugar nuggets out of 10

(Quick Nutrition Facts: 120 calories, 3 grams of fiber, 10 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein per 1 cup serving)

***Special thanks to Gabe Fonseca for “collecting ’em all” and sending the above picture, so I didn’t have to. 😏***