With my right hand raised, I, Dan G. of Cerealously, vow to complete this review of Kellogg’s new Despicable Me Cereal without voicing any of my personal opinions about Minions, the Minion phenomenon, or the fact that Minions somehow still overpopulate my Facebook feed with sassy memes in the year 2017.

There, now that the hard part’s over, I can evaluate this cereal objectively. At first glance—once you get past those moon-sized, staring eyes—Despicable Me Cereal appears to be the latest square-shaped, marshmallow-stuffed entry in Kellogg’s cinematic cereal franchise, an anthology that includes Finding Dory Cereal, Captain America Civil War Cereal, and several others with identical flavors but laughably different source materials.

But look, look closer with your special, telescopic Minion eyes, and you’ll see that Despicable Me Cereal is actually Brown Sugar Vanilla-flavored! I feel like we need to celebrate this trend-bucking mix-up of Kellogg’s repetitive movie cereal formula.

Anyone down for a Return of the Jedi-style party with Ewoks, bonfires, and the grinning blue ghosts of several force-sensitive mentors?

So if the existence of Brown Sugar Vanilla flavor is the good news about Despicable Me Cereal, the bad news is that it’s extremely subtle. The quadrilateral doughnuts that make up this cereal taste mostly like sweetened oats and floury shortbread biscuits, but they do have a faint, sticky glaze of golden brown sugar and lightly floral vanilla. It’s as if Kellogg’s puréed some Keebler Vanilla Sugar Wafers and Sandies with the real vanilla orchid petals, then baked it into toasty squares.

There needs to be more of this pleasant taste, though. Because as it stands, I have to sit in my kitchen and slowly inhale the flavor from each square just to describe it. I guess this cereal’s true to its name, at least: I certainly feel despicable.

Unfortunately, the flavored fun stops there. The banana marshmallows aren’t banana-flavored. The orange marshmallows aren’t creamsicle-flavored, and the Minion marshmallows aren’t denim-flavored. They’re just average marbits with spongy sugar exteriors and crisply chalky centers. They taste like nuggets of solidified whipped cream, and while that might excite the young and sucrose-obsessed, we adults have tasted this same tired gambit many times before.

Now if the box had included banana cream frosting packets we could use to glue our Minion ‘mallows together into a single, gibberish-babbling Voltron, that would have been another story.

Milk is neither good or bad for Despicable Me Cereal. Milk’s glaze-activating creaminess just makes this cereal taste like Vanilla-Dusted Lucky Charms—but with weaker marshmallows that don’t snap and crackle quite as addictively as Lucky’s densely granulated loot.

With its lip-smacking—yet regrettably thin—brown sugar vanilla coating, Despicable Me Cereal is definitely in the top tier of Kellogg’s movie cereals. But it’s beaten out by Kellogg’s recent Moana Cereal, and it fails to live up to the delicious precedent set by General Mills’s 2016 Minions Cereal. That cereal featured a unique twist of banana and strawberry not seen since Urkel-Os chuckled onto shelves in the early ’90s. Instead, 2017’s Despicable Me Cereal missed its chance to capitalize on the Minions’s famously favorite fruit.

With its existing brown sugar notes, this cereal could’ve been banana bread in a bowl…

…which is why I mixed it with some Quaker Banana Bread Oatmeal to do just that. If you have the means to craft this breakfast combo, I highly recommend it. The ripe banana notes combine delightfully with the golden browned synergy formed between Quaker’s doughy oats and Kellogg’s toasty oat squares. Plus the marshmallows dissolve into gooey puddles, just like the icing on Grandma’s famous banana bread.

Who would’ve thought that melting a Minion would be so much fun?

Wait a minute…I did. I thought that.

The Bowl: Kellogg’s Despicable Me Cereal with Minion Marshmallows

The Breakdown: Mild-mannered brown sugar and vanilla make for a merrier movie cereal that’s still far from memorable. Only in Banana Bread Oatmeal does it reach its true—albeit extremely specific—potential.

The Bottom Line: 6.5 Minion–Ewok WWE tag teams out of 10

(Quick Nutrition Facts: 120 calories, 3 grams of fiber, 10 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein per 1 cup serving)