Extra, extra, cold cereal-flavored hot cereal! Get your cold cereal-flavored hot cereal here! Hot off the cold milk-inspired presses!

Sorry, I just think it’s really funny that oatmeal, despite being a hot cereal by definition, rarely gets treated like one. Sure, I’m partially to blame, since I rarely review oatmeal despite considering it part of my blog’s oeuvre. Why is that? Well, partly because new oatmeals don’t often generate enough buzz or PR for me to notice them, partly because oatmeal is miserably hard to photograph in an attractive light, and partly, honestly, because I tend to be really bad at making it without the whole bowl getting runnier than an Oregon Trail marathon.

That said, General Mills’ new line of oatmeals inspired by some of their most iconic cereals is far too exciting to ignore. Lucky Charms, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Trix, and Cocoa Puffs are all getting the hot mush treatment, but so far I’ve only been able to try the last of these. So for now, sit back as I go spoon deep in Sonny’s finest bowl of sweetly swollen oats.

Boldly subverting instant oatmeal tradition, Cocoa Puffs Oatmeal (like its fellow Big G oatmeals) takes a bold, two-packeted approach to the medium. You start by making a packet of oatmeal like normal, and then you add the “chocolatey flavored crunchy topping.”

I’ll be honest, this topping earns its ambiguous name—it’s unclear what these coffee-bean-lookin’ nibs are supposed to be, but their husky airiness doesn’t add much to the overall oatmeal experience outside of a neat, crispy textural contrast and perhaps a mild, mild pop of milk chocolate. I’d’ve much preferred some Carvel Crunchies, or perhaps actual mini chocolate chips—because nothing’s better than digging into a melted reservoir of pooled indulgence.

That said, this isn’t that great of a loss, because the actual Cocoa Puffs Oatmeal itself is surprisingly good. See, I’m not the biggest Cocoa Puffs fan—chocolate cereals with corn bases taste so much weaker than the wheat-n-oat likes of my darling Krave—so even though Cocoa Puffs Oatmeal has quite the literal “oat base,” I was worried the simply boring cocoa powder flavor of Cocoa Puffs would still put a damper on this lean, mean ‘meal.

But nope! Cocoa Puffs Oatmeal hardly tastes like Cocoa Puffs the cold cereal. Instead, it tastes like a cozy, comfy, and especially viscous cup of hot chocolate. Way more like hot chocolate than even Hot Cocoa Cocoa Puffs. The cocoa flavor isn’t too intense, as it’s tempered by a sweet creaminess—a delight you can double-down on by making Cocoa Puffs Oatmeal with milk.

To keep this review short and sweet, a bowl of Cocoa Puffs Oatmeal’s appeal is short and sweet. Simple and straightforward, too.  If you’ve ever wanted to suck down Swiss Miss by the spoonful, this is the oatmeal for you. Or if you just enjoy chocolate cereals, Cocoa Puffs Oatmeal is probably still worth trying a box. Registered chocoholics, fudgsiclists, and loco-for-cocoa types, on the other hand, might need to add a handful of Tollhouse morsels to make this stuff worth your while. And if chocolate oatmeal’s not your jam, you probably can’t go wrong with the other Big G oatmeals, either. Since I enjoyed Lucky Charms and Cinnamon Toast Crunch Oatmeals when they were exclusive to Canada, I’m gonna guess that their 2021 U.S, incarnations, and Trix Oatmeal by extension, are all solid, too.

Well, semisolid, at least.

The Bowl: Cocoa Puffs Oatmeal

The Breakdown: Basically instant hot cocoa in a goopier state of matter. The crunchy toppings are mostly decoration, but the overall bowl is still a simple palate-pleaser—I’ll have to stash a few packets away for wintertime.

The Bottom Line: 7 oatmeal-stuffed Krave biscuits out of 10