There are some things it feels like you just can’t do on supermarket shelves, even if there’s no explicit rule against it.
You can’t put a cute mascot shaped like a carton of milk on a box of bleach. Or at least I imagine you probably can’t.
You can’t say your plastic bottle is made from “100% Ocean-Bound Plastic” because that’s worded so confusingly and sounds like it’s made 100% from plastic that’s bound for the ocean, rather than just adding a word and saying “100% Previously Ocean-Bound Plastic.” But Windex does this anyway.
And you can’t market cinnamon bun pancake batter as a versatile creamy spread. It just feels criminal!
I’ll keep it quick ‘n’ creamy; this new Cinnamon Toast Crunch Creamy Cinnamon Spread is seriously sweet. It’s far less viscous than peanut butter, and it tastes overwhelmingly of concentrated brown sugar, with like a 10% pop of actual, albeit subtle, cinnamon. There’s also a distinct creamy butteriness to it, which, when mixed with the brown sugariness, really does remind me of raw, gooey coffee cake mix. In this way, Cinnamon Toast Crunch Creamy Cinnamon Spread does taste like Cinnamon Toast Crunch, just in the sense that if you took an entire box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal and an entire gallon of milk and built an industrial apparatus capable of condensing the entire box and gallon (and dollop of Blue Bonnet for good measure) into a single, ultra-potent spoon-sized orb, you’d be able to replicate just how rich and densely sweet a scoop of this Creamy Cinnamon Spread is.
Looks awful, but it’s surprisingly appetizing.
Yes, Cinnamon Toast Crunch Creamy Cinnamon Spread is sweet. Sweet enough you have to eat it in moderation, as an accenting garnish. I tried dabbing it on a banana and quite enjoyed the deconstructed bananas foster combo of the two. I’d certainly recommend it on fruit or spread thinly on bread over spooning it straight out of the jar, lest you wish to candy your gums into jelly.
And speaking of jelly, my entire conceit for reviewing Cinnamon Toast Crunch Creamy Cinnamon Spread was to create this: my masterpiece.
The CTCCCS&J sandwich.
Despite everything I just said about moderation, trust me: this works. I’d definitely ease up on the spread-to-jelly ratio if I ever make it again (35:65 feels more ideal), but having two pieces of plain wheat bread to sponge up the sweetness makes the whole thing a lot less cloying, plus the way the crusted grain, spiced brown sugar sauce, and gooey fruit slop work together reminds me of a hot latticed strawberry pie.
While a successful PB&J remix is certainly a high compliment, I still struggle to think fondly of Cinnamon Toast Crunch Creamy Cinnamon Spread overall. Occasionally great gimmicks and niche novelty applications aside, and without being able to spoon this stuff straight up without feeling sick, I struggle to imagine how I’ll find a use for this whole jar. To be honest, the more I ponder this spread, the more I feel like there’s nothing CTCCCS can do that a cookie butter, whether Trader Joe’d or otherwise, couldn’t do better. Cookie butter boasts a more nuanced—and certainly more spoonable—menagerie of sweetened spices and spiced sweetnesses with a better texture to boot. Heck, I’m already finding myself reaching for another equally specific spread in my cabinet more often than this CTC one (it’s honey-infused peanut butter, and I love it enough to suck it straight from a spigot).
Let’s just say that if you see a jar of Cinnamon Toast Crunch Creamy Cinnamon Spread and it immediately sparks a big idea in your head for a delightful application—like, say, a melted sundae swirl, a legit cinnamon bun basting, or a complementary compote to serve on a fruit dip flight flanking that creamy white yogurty kind and its pink strawberry counterpart—then go ahead and buy it! But if you have any doubt that you’ll be able to stomach more than a half dozen mouthfuls of it, go for a cookie butter or exotic nut butter instead.
Hmm, wonder if I could pump what I have left through a fondue fountain…
The Bowl: Cinnamon Toast Crunch Creamy Cinnamon Spread
The Breakdown: Borderline sickly sweet with decidedly limited consistent use cases, this spread is tasty when micro-dosed, but on a macro- level, it’s a little too weirdly assertive and tongue-rankling to be a repeat buy.
The Bottom Line: 6.5 peanut butter and gum-jelly sandwiches out of 10
I ate one teaspoon and it tasted funny. Three minutes later my entire mouth, throat, jaw and up to my ears swelled up and I started losing my voice. Lips got numb. Almost had to go to hospital. I rinsed my mouth out with several others drinks, still having problems today, hurts to swallow and throat still hoarse.
Hi Gabe,
I bought a jar of this a few months back(in was marked for .99 cents in the back bargain room at my local Kroger due to the lid being cracked). It is very sweet but I like your idea of having it with banana(wheat toast,thin spread of this gooo, and sliced bananas). I am sure this will be discontinued soon if not already. Thanks, Chatty.
Wound up buying a jar on Amazon a few months back once the algorithm determined I enjoy the macabre. Agreed, it’s slightly too runny to be enjoyed by the spoonful. However, my moderation knows no limits and I found distracting myself with jingling keys and shiny lights made finishing the jar an easy feat.
I listened to your episode about this right before I went to the grocery store last night and ended up buying it. May I suggest adding it to your coffee? It was a delight!! I wish they had a “crunchy” version that was more akin to cookie butter, but in the meantime I’ll continue the coffee situation.
i spent a good 10 seconds floating my spoon-cursor over the skycam shot of the jar. that is all.