Entering this review, PB&J and cereal have a flawless track record.

After 2016’s fantastic JIF PB&J Cereal and the ’80s’ mythical PB&J Cereal—which was apparently so transcendentally mind-blowing that no one knows how it tasted—Wild Kratts (whose cartoon series I won’t pretend to know anything about: I thought it was a bootleg Thundercats) has a 100% perfect legacy to stack up to with its appropriately stackable PB&J Power Discs.

I just hope I can finish this review before a rogue box of PB&J Cereal falls into my lap and wipes my memory.

Short story even shorter: no, Wild Kratts PB&J Power Discs don’t hold up their vertex of PB&J Cereal’s holy-by-default trinity. Their texture is too chewy—think sawdust-fortified Circus Peanuts—their PB flavor is too subtle, and the jelly taste is unremarkable.

For reference, the leftover PB&J sandwich I accidentally left baking on the sunny beach for 4 hours this Memorial Day tasted better.

To briefly elaborate on the flavor, the peanut butter component was the strangest, because despite the box boasting several times about the beige discs’ real organic PB-ness, there wasn’t much more to it empirically than a mild roasted toastiness—no real nuttiness to be found. For supposed animal lovers, I bet the Wild Kratts leave behind many disappointed squirrels.

As for the jelly, it’s not clear what fruit it’s supposed to be—no fruit sources are in the ingredients list—but these SweeTart-looking discs nevertheless exude a sharp, yet not terribly great generic berry flavor that reminds me of Berry La Croix, or perhaps a water-logged raspberry.

Together, the discs just taste like toaster oven-ed dried fruit served on cardboard. Maybe I should leave them on the beach for a while.

Milk makes PB&J Power Discs slightly more bearable, but at the cost of the martyred (but not missed) peanut butter, whose flavor entirely disappears behind the now potently tangy, and just as ambiguous, jelly flavor. I would still recommend milk, though, because it provides an opportunity to sneakily submerge some Peanut Butter Crunch under the discs and actually make this cereal halfway pleasant.

Because ultimately, unless a life or death situation calls for an organic PB&J cereal, you’re better off playing breakfast mixologist with some other fruity and peanut butter cereals—or at least chopping up a sandwich into little bits. Maybe I’m just easily irked because of this post-beach sunburn, but I kind of hope a wayward beaver takes the rest of this box away from me.

Or at least drops a box of that ’80s cereal in front of my face…

The Bowl: Wild Kratts PB&J Power Discs Cereal

The Breakdown: Bad texture, weak PB, overpowered (yet underwhelming) jelly. This is a beast that shouldn’t have been domesticated.

The Bottom Line: 3 jars of idk-berry jelly out of 10