Sometimes you just want the movie theater popcorn, with the sextuple pumps of atomic yellow butter that’ll leave your palms semi-translucent.
Sometimes you just want Chinese food from the place in the rundown strip mall, where the sesame chicken is so oily that the paper takeout container is leaking from every fold.
And sometimes (most times), my cats would rather eat the processed kibble equivalent of a Big Mac, instead of a freshly ground turkey pâté.
That’s how I internally rationalize any remaining appeal of Reese’s Puffs. Simply put, for me Reese’s Puffs are outclassed on every edible level by Chocolate Peanut Butter Cheerios, which really nail the sumptuous blend of milky cocoa and authentically nutty butter that I’m looking for out of such a cereal.
In comparison, the choco-PB approach of Reese’s Puffs feels cheap and hollow, yet weighed down by an oily processed-ness that progressively glazes your tongue with sluggish sweetness. And while that may sound unappealing, sometimes that’s exactly what you need out of a mainline cereal—nothing too high falutin’, just glorious garbage. I’d say I get such a specific craving for Reese’s Puffs maybe once a year, so I’m getting it out of the way early for 2022 with this new Reese’s Puffs Cluster Crunch.
There’s really not much else to say about this stuff, because it’s virtually indistinguishable from normal Reese’s Puffs. When General Mills first introduced this new Corny Clusters shape for Lucky Charms, its aerated uber-crunchiness at least contrasted with the denser, snappier oat bits we came to know—even if it was a total downgrade, at least it was distinct.
But since Reese’s Puffs has always been a corn puff cereal, the shape change only makes things a little crunchier, if anything. Maybe, if I’m being generous, I could also suggest that maybe these clusters are flavored more potently since the many crevasses formed by the interlocked mini-orbs leaves more places for flavor dust to accumulate. But ultimately, this is just the same aesthetic refresh that previously brought us Reese’s Puffs Bats, Hearts, and Bunnies.
What that means is that, if you like Reese’s Puffs, you’re more than likely going to like Reese’s Puffs Cluster Crunch, too. It’s not worse than normal Reese’s Puffs in any way, and you might just notice a richer burst of chemically concocted candy-osity. But if you’re looking for genuine chocolate and peanut butter indulgence, hit up Cheerios instead. And if straight-up peanut butter punchiness is your prerogative, General Mills has a different new cereal that brings plenty of PB fun to the breakfast table.
The Bowl: Reese’s Puffs Cluster Crunch
The Breakdown: These reskinned Reese’s Puffs for a new year bring nothing new to your bowl, so unless you’ve got an annual craving or you’re a big fan of RP’s specific brand of synthetically basted-on choco-PB flavor, you may be better off spooning elsewhere.
The Bottom Line: 7 hungry McFelines out of 10