Spooned & Spotted: Two New Krave Flavors!

Strawberry Crunch Krave & Cinnamon Crunch Krave Cereals

Image via Candy Hunting; used with permission

Finally, cereal companies are embracing the true spirit of Saturday morning cartoons & cereal: staying in bed, couch, recliner, or other such horizontal comforts all day. I mean, why else would we be getting so many pillow-shaped cereals this month?

I’m definitely down for it, but I just wish these firmly crunchy pillows had fluffier variants for all us stomach sleepers—a belly full of milky pseudo-cylinders requires extra fathoms of mattress submersion.

Trailing the fresher and less divisive ideas of Fillows and Pop-Tarts Cereal, the equally loved and hated Krave is jumping back into the stuff-filled, filling-stuffed cereal game with Strawberry Crunch and Cinnamon Crunch flavors. This marks Krave’s first new flavor since 2017’s Krave with More Chocolate—a seemingly ludicrous redundancy that actually worked super well—and its first ever foray into fruity flavors.

But wistful fans of Hidden Treasures Cereal might be slightly disappointed: instead of using strawberry or cinnamon in the filling, Strawberry & Cinnamon Crunch Krave simply flavor and dust the shells, retaining the iconic chocolate innards. While this isn’t what I would have imagined—I was picturing two stripes of complimentary filling—I’m hoping the newly christened shells appeal more to those Anti-Krave Krusaders who generally complain about the outer crusts specifically.

I guess if these don’t win ’em over, Kellogg’s will have to drop an Oops! All Filling!

Big thanks to Candy Hunting for the photo. If you have a cereal lead of your own to share, fill us in on our Submissions page!

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Specials. 7 Comments

Jun. ’19

The Empty Bowl Episode Twelve: The Ballad of Pac-Man’s Basketball Shorts

I could say I’m a little late with sharing the newest Empty Bowl episode here, but I was just really waiting until I could sense the whole cereal community would need it most.

And that’s why I’m writing this on a Sunday evening: the work week’s River Styx. Steady these last few uneasy hours and make the most of this molting weekend with thirty-six minutes (our longest yet!) of hot cereal news, cool reviews, and warm memories.

In this episode, Justin and I recount the tale of Freedom Crunch, wrestle with Mighty Spoon, and bring Sonic into the cerealverse’s canon. If your Sunday’s feeling more like a Dying-Starday, you can find more 20–30 minute condensed Saturday vibes at our Anchor hub, follow along on Twitter, or send in a listener question. We can’t discuss or respond to every email, but they definitely unconsciously influence our cereal cartography.

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Specials. Tags: empty bowl. Leave a comment

Jun. ’19

Spooned & Spotted: Cookies & Crème Pop-Tarts Cereal

Do you hear that? Those foreboding rumbling of a tectonic plate sandwiched between two others, heralding the beginning of something…cataclysmic?

It’s an anomaly in Earth’s chocolate cookie crust, and we haven’t felt one of this magnitude since the great Oreo Cheesequake that turned countless communities upside down—while leaving them dizzyingly unable to fall.

Yes, we seem to be reaching critically crème-y mass, with newly spotted Cookies & Crème Pop-Tarts Cereal being the third cereal of its Oreo-flavored kind to arrive this past month. While I thought the Oreo craze peaked two years ago with the olfactory onslaught of perhaps unnecessarily zany cookie flavors, from Mississippi Mud Pie to the Swedish Fish who for some reason swim in it.

But now that Nabisco’s mad science has tempered to a sort of eccentric performance art, with more reasonable flavors like Latte Thins and Rocky Road, it feels high time for the famous cookie’s signature flavor to return to its black & white simplicity, once again populating both owned brand and imitator products all across the grocery store. Spotted by @m_huddy at Woodman’s (thanks!), Cookies & Crème Pop-Tarts Cereal brings a two-toned filling (a la S’Mores Krave) to a fascinatingly chip-studded P-TC shell.

While I am more excited for C&C Pop-Tarts Cereal, I am close to predicting it dead in the skim-diluted water. Why? Because it feels like a direct chaser to Cookies ‘n’ Creme Fillows, which were so good (and dense!) that I have serious doubts the comparatively welterweight anatomy of Pop-Tarts Cereal will even be able to touch gloves with General Mills’ game-changing, choco-icing champion.

Perhaps I’ll just have to pit them head to head, M&M’s style. Don’t blame me, Pop-Tarts, it’s a natural cereal phenomenon: survival of the crème-swollen fattest.

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Specials. Tags: cookies and cream, kellogg's, pop-tarts. 2 Comments

May. ’19

News: Mega Stuf Oreo O’s are Coming to Walmart!

How convenient: just days after I dunked on Americanized Oreo O’s for not staying true to 2002’s Extreme Creme Oreo O’s (ostensibly the definitive, Game of the Year Edition of Oreo O’s), we get this.

Perhaps rightfully realizing the prurient wordplay potential of high-octane creme, the Oreo O’s + marshmallows equation has been redubbed Mega Stuf Oreo O’s. Equally plausible is a necessary signal boost for actual Mega Oreo cookies, whose excessive novelty has been rendered practically obsolete by the self-lampooning leviathan that is The Most Stuf Oreo cookie. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: News. Tags: cookies and cream, news, oreo o's, post. 5 Comments

May. ’19

Review: Fillows Cereal (Hershey’s Cookies ‘n’ Creme and Pillsbury Cinnamon Roll!)

What would it take to end the Krave Civil War?

You know, the ceaseless, caustic conflict between those who love those graham-wrapped little choco-chrysalises (hi, it’s me) and those who think they taste like dog food (*ahem*). Such division doesn’t belong in the breakfast aisle, a demilitarized zone for those seeking unanimously sweet solidarity and shared cereal ceasefires. But what are we to do?

Should we pan-fry pieces of Krave to make them more palatable?
Barrel-age our Krave in Bailey’s to make it more…utilitarian?
Or must we Kravers acquiesce and bury all our polarizing cereal right next to the hatchet?

The answer’s far simpler: build a better filled pillow cereal. Which is just what General Mills has done with their aptly named Fillows line of cereals. These little cereal nuggets are filled with crème (though some sites have called it icing), and are currently only available at Walmart in family-sized boxes. But even though each box weighs over a pound—and features foil, rather than plastic, bags to properly secure their shimmering density—I don’t think you’ll need a family to finish it.

Just be ready to carry a food baby when you’re finished.

Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 9 rating, cinnamon, cookies and cream, general mills. 10 Comments

May. ’19

Review: Lucky Charms Marshmallow Blondies – Soft Baked Treats

Forty is a large number. There’s a reason it’s a common Biblical increment of days, as well as the highest number ever counted to on Sesame Street: achieving forty of something is a Big feat—whether it’s Bird or Man in the Sky.

Which is why it’s both a blessing and curse that Lucky Charms’ newest sort-of-cereal-bar is only currently available in boxes (would crates be a better word? caches? sarcophagi?) of forty. As a hardline cereal journalist, of course I had a cinderblock’s worth of these redressed Fiber One brownies shipped to my house, and now it sits as a fixed centerpiece on my coffee table (for at least the next forty days and forty nights), patiently awaiting hungry houseguests—or at least mischievous house cats who love tipping over boxes.

These Marshmallow Blondies are simple beige squares, with a splattered smattering of half-baked marshmallows and an abstract cascade of icing. Certainly much different than the ‘pressed cereal log’ approach of most cereal bars, but is it worth the XL investment? As a natural blondie, I feel qualified to tell you. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 7 rating, cereal bars, general mills, lucky charms. Leave a comment

May. ’19

News: Hardee’s Is Testing a Froot Loops Mini Donut Milkshake!

Alright, this is the last straw…

…that I’ll ever need. Mostly because Hardee’s Froot Loops Mini Donut Milkshake sounds like the shimmering iridescent zenith of all three of my greatest indulgent joys, and partly because I don’t know if my consequence-blind moderate lactose intolerance could resist impulsively imploding my intestines just to try one.

You may remember when Hardee’s and sister-cousin-doppelgänger chain Carl’s Jr. launched Froot Loops Mini Donuts last year. They looked like Moon Sand molded with ICEE syrup, and you could easily put away like six of ’em before noticing a strange, artificially colored aurora borealis emitting from your abdomen.

What fewer people remember is that Hardee’s “new” Froot Loops Mini Donut Milkshake was available alongside the Mini Donuts last year, but apparently in a much more limited context. Even the one photo I shared of it has since been deleted from Instagram, ostensibly removing it (and potentially its drinker) from history so Hardee’s could rewrite a more hype-worthy timeline wherein this shake is brand new.

Granted, that old shake was only spotted at Carl’s Jr., to my knowledge, and this 2019 Froot Loops Mini Donut Milkshake has only been announced by Hardee’s so far. They claim it “features creamy, hand-scooped ice cream mixed with real milk, blended and garnished with Froot Loops Mini Donuts and whipped topping.” In this case, the shake isn’t even the real star: it’s the free Mini Donut that’s nestled snuggly around the straw, practically begging you to remove the lid and let it slide into pasteurized oblivion.

The shake’s suggested retail price is $3.29, and select Hardee’s locations are also offering an order of Mini Donuts for only $1 with any purchase, which sounds like a slam dunk of a deal—or perhaps five of them.

Posted by dan g.. Categories: News. Tags: froot loops, news. 2 Comments

May. ’19

Spooned & Spotted: General Mills Drumstick Cereals!

I’m noticing a pattern…

Now that we’ve apparently breached New Cereal Mania Jr., the summer son of January’s non-stop oated onslaught, General Mills is revealing its coincidental—or perhaps copycat—strategy of forging creative cereal–non-cereal brand partnerships.

Just yesterday, we learned of two new Fillows flavors, Hershey’s Cookies ‘n’ Creme and Pillsbury Cinnamon Roll: conspicuous analogues for Post’s Oreo O’s and Hostess Honey Bun cereals. Now with the arrival of two new Drumstick cereals, the comparison to Malt-O-Meal (aka Post again)’s Cold Stone Creamery cereals seems inevitable.

Granted, General Mills already brought licensed frosty flavor recently with two Dippin’ Dots cereals, but those were so awful and ice scream-inducing that history will remember them as the “ice cream cereal of the future” from some darkest timeline that tragically intersected our own.

Here’s hoping GM has started from scoop one on both Classic Vanilla and Mint Chocolate Drumstick cereals. Spotted by @coachlongest at Walmart, these diversely textured menageries boast Golden Graham-esque cone pieces (a waffling step down from their old Ice Cream Cones cereal’s authentic geometry), chocolate puffs, and rounded discs that you may remember from Thin Mints Cereal.

The jury’s still out on whether my local ice cream shoppe will let me buy a bulk pack of dipped waffle cone bowls to review these (especially after I demanded to see the Ice Cream Machine from Neopets), but for now, I’ll be sure to microwave a few Drumsticks to use as milk.

Our thanks again to Coach Longest for sharing the photo. If you have any hot or cold scoops of your own to share, truck ’em on over to our Submissions page.

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Specials. Tags: general mills, spooned & spotted. 2 Comments