It’s been a dry few weeks for dry cereal news—an odd occasion, since breakfast happenings are usually bustling enough to have me posting a couple times a week without fail. Cereal news is metaphorically true to its namesake, after all: it gets you hungry for a new bowl before you’ve even finished the one you just poured. In comparison, this has been the overnight oats of slow news months.
Nevertheless, there have been a couple news bites worth bringing up: the first of which is the rainbow-spanning return of Lucky Charms “Just Magical Marshmallows.” After years of making All Marshmallow LC boxes extremely rare artifacts you could only win from contests (though I acquired one anyway), General Mills has since stripped the stuff of its mythic stature. Last year, they introduced small pouches of marbits, and now they’re back—even though I never noticed they were gone. Truth be told, I see no practical reason to buy these, given how the oat bits are actually the cereal’s best part, unless you want to melt a big glob of them for the world’s most unicorn puke-tastic s’more.
Oh well, at least the neat new packaging makes it feel like you’re collecting Infinity Stones.
It's not just the Monsters, either—the Cap'n is casually dropping some mad-gorgeous new box art this Halloween season! pic.twitter.com/kf6BrOjGLO
— Cerealously 🥛🥣 (@cerealouslynet) August 12, 2021
Next up is something a bit more surprising: the first new box art for Cap’n Crunch’s Halloween Crunch in six years. This rad scientist rendition—complete with milk flask—replaces the familiar Zombie Cap’n, who’s been around since I started this blog. Artwork aside, I’ve long been of the opinion that Halloween Crunch is the best of the Cap’n’s seasonal varieties, simple because the Nickelodeon Halloween special-worthy ghost Crunch Berries are drop-dead gorgeous.
Crossover of a lifetime (note the FROSTED PINK KRISPIES) pic.twitter.com/KlkJE2XxvV
— Cerealously 🥛🥣 (@cerealouslynet) August 24, 2021
Finally, in a Scooby-Doo Meets the Harlem Globetrotters type moment, Peppa Pig and her brother are teaming up with Snap, Crackle, and Pop to release Rice Krispies Cereal with special pink frosted Krispies. Now, I don’t know much about Ms. Peppa P., but if the internet rumors regarding her gargantuan height are true, we can surmise that Snap, Crackle, and Pop aren’t as elvish as they ostensibly seem—a worrying prospect considering how uncanny their redesigns look.
Now I understand why their initials are S-C-P.