Hey you: yeah, you!
Do you love cereal as much as Han Solo knows Leia loves him?
Do you find yourself hyperdriving through boring, terrestrial cereals without a dent in your appetite?
Has your stomach ever rumbled so hard that you wondered whether there was a hypothermic Jedi warming himself inside you?
Well then you may be in luck: General Mills is teaming up with Lucasfilms again to bring back Star Wars Cereal. The last time we saw this stuff was in 2015/16, when it debuted in boxes bearing Yoda, Darth Vader, Kylo Ren, Rey and BB-8. After The Force Awakens, we didn’t get anything special for The Last Jedi. But now that The Rise of Skywalker is looming like a metropolitan cloud formation, we’re getting updated boxes featuring BB-8 and new droid D-O (who looks like a mobile megaphone), alongside Kylo Ren and a “red Sith Trooper” (who looks like a more vanilla Emperor’s Royal Guard).
Granted, this cereal really isn’t anything special: it’s a generic corn base with the same ol’, largely inscrutable marbit Darth Rorschachs.
But if you’re a die-hard Star Wars fan or the parent of one, you’ll probably want to sneak some of this into theaters this December—in a milk-filled fanny pack, of course. Just don’t expect the back of the box to be anything but a watered-down version of those Star Wars Cross-Section books.
At this point, baffling marbits are a Star Wars (TM) cereal tradition. Who can forget Clone Crunch’s Slave 1s pieces?