https://www.instagram.com/p/Bn_pYkZldrR/?taken-by=candyhunting

(Update: We reviewed both flavors!)

In the year 20 C.G.E (Crazy Good Era), humans can enjoy a Pop-Tart whenever they want, however they want.

Unlike the clunky “into face” interface of the iTart and the borderline septic seepage of Pop-Tarts’ “Pop-Up Fuel Nozzlez,” current Pop-Tarchitecture is able to seamless transmit Pop-Tarts flavor activators right to the taste buds via uvular implant. So with the push of a button, we can—and do, all day long in fact—taste Crazy Good molecules!

It’s a bleak future, I know, but at Kellogg’s current rate of developments in Pop-Tart portability, we’ll all be wearing Pop-Tart Duel Disks by New Year’s. Just weeks ago, we learned of the impending return of Pop-Tarts Cereal (née Crunch), and now serial snack journalist Candy Hunting brings news of Pop-Tarts Bites, which appears to be a bionically reassembled hybrid of Kellogg’s other three up-til-now-discontinued horseman of Pop-Tarts convenience: 2002’s snub Snak-Stix, 2006’s hot dog-sized Go-Tarts and 2011’s cracker-esque Mini Crisps.

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bn6fkXfncZA/?hl=en&taken-by=thejunkfoodaisle

I’m not at all upset about this reintroduction, which Candy Hunting along with The Junk Food Aisle assert will return in both Strawberry and Brown Sugar Cinnamon (it seems fan favorite S’Mores is toast again), because I have a long history of fangoriously devouring gelatinous pastries—especially in multiple quadrilateral dimensions. But when we see these hit shelves, likely in early 2019 alongside its mother-flagship cereal, don’t be surprised if the prize in side is a sweepstakes to “explore” the Pop-Tarts Innovation Laboratory.

But hey, maybe you’ll get to try a cryogenically frozen Pop-Tart. I hear that’s the coolest way. Thanks again to our Insta-friends for their discoveries!