Oh come on, Quaker: give that poor ol’ Oats guy a rest. We all know that he has to hand-toast every single Quaker oat before it’s ready for consumption. It takes him hours just to meticulously craft a single oatmeal packet, and now you’re throwing a smorgasbord of new products onto his to-do list! His work–life balance is going out the window, all for the sake of our balanced breakfast.

Oh well, he’s a man who loves his craft, so let’s respect it by rounding up all the new Quaker products hitting shelves now. Above we have an extension of the brand’s iconic instant oatmeal pantheon: two antioxidant-rich varieties. I don’t know much about antioxidants—my childish self would assume you throw the packets in a room ful of your enemies to slowly drain them of oxygen, supervillain-style—but I know that the two flavors here are pretty unique. Blueberry Cranberry is bold for brazenly removing strawberry from the expected berry rotation, while Green Apple Fig is the first fig flavored anything I’ve heard of since the Fig Newton.

(I really hope this oatmeal contains crushed-up Fig Newtons.)

Next up is a series of more traditional cereals, both of the granola and flaky varieties. All the Simply Granola and Multigrain Flakes flavors are pretty safe: Oats & Honey with Vanilla & Pecan sounds like a mouthful of sweet toasted nuttiness (and ampersands), cranberry apple is an obvious homage to The Simpsons’ dearly departed Ms. Krabappel, and Honey Vanilla is, well, just another honey vanilla cereal.

I won’t say I’m wildly excited about these, but I am mildly…something. Titillated, perhaps.

Finally, we have a Beatles tribute band-worth of Quaker Overnight Oats. Punctually capitalizing on a trend that was popular among fitness bloggers several eons ago, Quaker’s Overnight Oats aren’t meant to be microwaved or drowned in boiling water. Instead, you add water or milk, refrigerate, and pray your midnight snacking self doesn’t sleepwalk and slurp down the half-coagulated oat slop.

The oddly tranquil flavor names, Toasted Coconut & Almond Crunch, Blueberry Banana & Vanilla Bliss, Orchard Peach Pecan Perfection, and Raisin Walnut & Honey Heaven, all sound intriguing (or at least product names from your masseuse’s homemade scented candle collection), but I have to say that the blueberry banana one piques my curiosity the most.

Probably because it looks like one of the Bananas in Pyjamas from a distance.

I’ll be sure to review some of these new Quaker products in the coming weeks and months. If you’ve tried any, have a specific one you want me to write about, or just need something to do while you wait for your overnight oats to settle, drop a comment below.

(All images in this article come via Quaker’s website.)