Pop-Tarts milkshakes, burritos, and pizza? Oh yes we did. #PopTartsCafe pic.twitter.com/ml8Zgf9njI

— Pop-Tarts (@PopTartsUS) February 21, 2017

♪ New York, New York: a helluva town. The Bronx is up, and the new café serving blended toaster pastry milkshakes is down! ♪

Sorry if there are any unexpected typos or short circuits in this post. My mouth is watering like Niagara, and my keyboard’s in the splash zone. But how could I not be spilling anticipatory drool by the barrelful when Pop-Tarts keeps tempting us with photos and videos of their Pop-Tarts Café?

Open until March 12th in New York City, this pop-up (pun intended, I’m sure) shop is the spiritual successor to Kellogg’s earlier cereal café. But the Pop-Tarts Café amps up the customization and Wild Berry wackiness far beyond the cereal joint’s wildest dreams. I’d you can’t watch the video above, know that their menu contains:

• Tart-based tacos

• Marshmallowy flaming burritos

• Birthday cake nachos

• Pastry crust pizza

• Gooey cake poppers

• Layered tiramisu

• Mini cheesecakes

• and yes, even milkshakes

…all made of Pop-Tarts. That list reads like a breakfast Coachella lineup, and if it isn’t enough to get your heart beating and travel agent on speed dial, then I guess you’re one of those Toaster Strudel die-hards. I don’t see the Pillsbury Doughboy opening his own bizarre bistro, do you?

https://www.instagram.com/p/BQxyKmjDP_S/?taken-by=poptartsus

This wackiness isn’t new for Pop-Tarts, who’ve been simultaneously thrilling and terrifying our taste buds with flavors like Root Beer and Vanilla Latte. In fact, this Pop-Tart Café came just weeks after rumors of three upcoming Jolly Rancher Pop-Tarts started brewing. These three images were first found, without any release date, by our friend Candy Hunting on Influenster. You might want to put safety goggles on—and the kids to bed—before scrolling down.

(Image via Influenster)

I can’t say I’m 100% optimistic about these new flavors. Cherry and Watermelon seem like minor tune-ups of existing flavors, while Sour Green Apple might just be Caramel Apple without the Werther’s-esque whimsy. I’ll support the candy Pop-Tart phenomenon regardless—that way Kellogg’s will be encouraged to release nougat-stuffed Three Musketeers Pop-Tarts next year.

I won’t blame Pop-Tarts for embracing the weird, either. From Pizza Rolls to Denny’s, every brand is doing it—how else can a brand break through the noise and malaise of branded social media? In fact, I hope we see the likes of Chef Boyardee fly their fettuccini freak flags fly, too.

Because I may have always dreamt of a Belgian Waffle Pop-Tart, Key Lime Pie Pop-Tart, or new-and-improved Ice Creme Sandwich Pop-Tart, but now it seems more and more likely that we’ll get Chicken & Waffles Pop-Tarts, Mountain Dew Pop-Tarts, and Literal Bread And Ice Cream Pop-Tarts, instead.

And that’s okay. My inner child is just jealous he didn’t think of those ideas first.