Let’s be real: if you’ve been keeping up with the cereal trend that’s been pushing me over the edge of polite and bloggerly cereal fanboyism toward the turgid wastelands of frustration and Snickerless un-me-ness, you might know what meme I plan to end this blurb with.

Yes, Kellogg’s keeps releasing boring cereals. They’re either fake-fruity loops or, well, they’re Frozen II Cereal: another licensed Lucky Charms knock-off that’s the exact same thing as Frozen Cereal, but with a new box. There are bland oat pieces. There are white snowballs and blue something-or-others. The point is, I didn’t expect anything more from a movie cereal, but I was at least hoping for a reason to review it. I’m sure there’s a young Frozen fan in your life who will demand this cereal with icy determination, but you might be better off dicing up some grocery store carrot cake and tossing it into a bowl of Donettes.

Now, to fulfill my promise: