Napoleon Dynamite wept.

See, back in my day, when you wanted to create a mythical hybrid creature, you just smashed two normal animals together and called it a day. Like the Liger: a good, honest, all-American legend bred for its magical abilities. Not like that bootleg real liger.

But I digress. The point is that Kellogg’s boldly spliced Caticorn is but a cop out—a combination of cats and unicorns (themselves hybrids of horses and narwhals, in my brain) that merely piggybacks off the latter cryptid’s bubblegum-pop popularity. I’d rather they forged a new path, like combining cats and pandas. Or cats and koalas. Or even forging a new cat-egory of lifeform by merging cats and redwood trees.

Now that would be a towering scratching post.

Debatable genealogy aside, the Caticorn is nevertheless the frontfeline of Kellogg’s latest cereal: the Sam’s Club-exclusive Caticorn Cereal. Coming hot off the pixie-dusted tail of Unicorn Cereal, Caticorn Cereal trades Magical Cupcake flavor for “Berry Purrr-fection.” This taste with one too many consonants (likely a holdover from Tony the Tiger’s own prolonged meow) looks to be a competitor to General Mills’ Very Berry Cheerios, and will hopefully deviate from the Unicorn Cereal flavor profile we’ve seen rehashed by Kellogg’s multiple times recently.

There’s just only so many times a man can eat a bowl of rounded frosted animal crackers before cutting out the middle man and pouring an ark’s worth of the real thing into a milk-flooded bowl.

Most, and perhaps most sinisterly, important is the addition of edible glitter to Caticorn Cereal, an ingredient that will likely have parents, carpets, and elementary school art teachers alike nervously reaching for their Shop-Vac. I’m not exactly certain how edible glitter differs from plain ol’ sugar or sprinkles, but if I can end up Krazy Gluing the cereal dust at the bottom of a Caticorn Cereal bag to a macaroni portrait, the resulting fridge art might make the whole purrr-chase worth it—delicious or not.

You can learn more about Caticorn Cereal on Sam’s Club’s site, though there’s still no word on how caticorns feel about saddles.