Has the Stuf-ification of society reached a creamily critical mass? Has the waxing trend of ascetic minimalism led cookie fans to ditch their earthly possessions and irrational need for continually and ridiculously escalating Stuffiness?
As we discussed on the latest Empty Bowl episode, all the gimmick Oreos in the world still can’t hold up against the O.G. version—except for Oreo Cakesters, of course, but that’s a topic for another time…or an entire dedicated fan site. So while I’m beyond happy that new Mega Stuf Oreo O’s bring the cereal back to its Extreme Creme glory days, I have to keep in mind these changing cultural conceptions surrounding Stuf. It appears crispy chocolate is eclipsing buttery goo in popularity once more, putting Mega Stuf Oreo O’s to the ultimate test of modernized–retro willpower.
(Just know that whether this cereal flounders or not, human records will forever have this 3000-pixel wide HD Oreo Cakester photo.)
If Stuf-ification is bad, than over-mallow-ification is worse. They’re unnecessary in Frosted Flakes, nauseatingly overindulgent in Pebbles, and, as of last week, practically sacrilegious in “Rice Krispies Treats” cereal. But in Mega Stuf Oreo O’s?
I hate to say it, but they also feel sort of sweetly and sugarily redundant.
See, marshmallows worked for Extreme Creme Oreo O’s in part because the world’s taste buds were far younger and spryer—not yet desensitized to the megalithic amounts of granulated sugar one can now expect from The Most Stuf Oreos of the world. And marshmallows work for South Korean Oreo O’s because the rings have a far denser and cocoa-buttery profile, thus benefitting from something voraciously vapid.
The problem here is that today’s Americanized Oreo O’s (read: airier and cornier) already taste more like marshmallows than chocolate. Sure, there are pleasantly baked cocoa undertones, but the thick sugar glazing on each hoopla-less hoop yields a more dominantly generic sweetness—you know, the stuff that comprises 100% of Golden Oreo O’s lusterless appeal. So no matter how many of the disparately clustered marbits I got in a spoonful, I couldn’t sense any difference in the overall flavor—just a slightly snappier mouthfeel.
And yes, that includes the inevitable massive ‘mallow mantle that aggregates in the bottom fifth of the box, below the cereal pieces and above the dense cereal dust core.
Milk changes very little, outside of softening the marshmallows enough to make them more literal globules of deconstructed O coating, in much the same sense as the icing on a Little Debbie Iced Honey Bun has its own commensalistic ecosystem (not so much that parasitic relationship said bun has with my stomach some time later).
So for perhaps the first time in this website’s history, I don’t have much else to say about an Oreo O’s product. To the untrained tooth, Mega Stuf Oreo O’s taste at most 1% different than normal Oreo O’s, and even that marginal increase in sugariness and texture only happens when 10% of the box’s marshmallows are soaked in 2%. So if you like Oreo O’s and already planned to buy another box, it’s probably worth picking up Mega Stuf instead, just in case your sweetness sensors are more finely tuned than mine.
By the very existence of their other cookie cereals, Post has proven that they’re more than capable of producing creative and delightful new cereal experiences. So I think it’s high time that Oreo O’s got an upgrade more fitting of their namesake cookie’s many wacky variants. Whether it’s the obvious Mint Oreo O’s or my own personal dream of “Uh Oh! Oreo O’s” featuring Golden rings with chocolate marshmallows, the future of milk’s favorite cookie cereal is as bright as the brand wants to make it.
And if that future happens to include a bowl of soft-baked Oreo Cakester niblets, I may just have to ghost my South Korean sweethearts.
The Bowl: Mega Stuf Oreo O’s
The Breakdown: A tragically underperforming update to the Oreo O’s legacy, Mega Stuf adds little if anything to an otherwise familiarly enjoyable cereal experience. I’m not mad, OO’s, I’m just Stuf’d full of disappointment.
The Bottom Line: 6 aggressively iced buns in my oven out of 10