What would it take to end the Krave Civil War?

You know, the ceaseless, caustic conflict between those who love those graham-wrapped little choco-chrysalises (hi, it’s me) and those who think they taste like dog food (*ahem*). Such division doesn’t belong in the breakfast aisle, a demilitarized zone for those seeking unanimously sweet solidarity and shared cereal ceasefires. But what are we to do?

Should we pan-fry pieces of Krave to make them more palatable?
Barrel-age our Krave in Bailey’s to make it more…utilitarian?
Or must we Kravers acquiesce and bury all our polarizing cereal right next to the hatchet?

The answer’s far simpler: build a better filled pillow cereal. Which is just what General Mills has done with their aptly named Fillows line of cereals. These little cereal nuggets are filled with crème (though some sites have called it icing), and are currently only available at Walmart in family-sized boxes. But even though each box weighs over a pound—and features foil, rather than plastic, bags to properly secure their shimmering density—I don’t think you’ll need a family to finish it.

Just be ready to carry a food baby when you’re finished.

Pillsbury Cinnamon Roll Fillows Review

Let’s be clear: the greatest gift and curse of both Fillows flavors is that they are heavy. This is the first cereal in recent memory whose serving size (of 3/4 cup and 52g, no less) feels totally reasonable, as that’s all that’s needed to leave me waddling off the couch like a human beanbag chair, before retreating like a camel to the desert where I can regain my hunger after a long, placated trek. So while this is good for appetite satiation, it’s bad for my taste buds, who still want to eat more Fillows, even if my tum doesn’t, thus compounding the gastrointestinal impact from “hitting the spot” to “getting hit by a truck.”

In short: Fillows strike a delicate balance between discipline and deadweight. 

With that disclaimer out of the way, let’s talk taste. Pillsbury Cinnamon Roll Fillows are perhaps the more nuanced of the pair. Their hearty shells—which have twice the girth of Krave’s piddly pincushions—are satisfying in their own right, with a modest and unobtrusive base grain that allows the glazed-on cinnamon goodness shine. 

But more than a simple Cinnamon Toast Crunchish basting, the cinnamon here is super buttery, and nearly molasses-y, with an actual twang of spice—albeit a humble, acoustic one, that can be strangely bitter and throat-sliming at times. The shell is ultimately more akin to coffee cake than anything else, while the (admittedly thin; ‘enlarged to show texture’ has never been truer) crème filling pivots us back toward ‘cinnamon roll’ territory by evoking buttercream icing that melds warmly with the simmering cinnamon.

One might even suspect the Pillsbury Dough Boy put a little bit of himself into each piece, a selfless sacrifice that has now asexually budded little Doughkin to be tickled in kitchens everywhere.

A universal Fillows problem is that the pieces are weight enough on their own to make for a robust meal. Adding milk, though it ups the creamy sweetness factor, makes the stuff more cloying than any simple pastry, instead making me feel like I’m chugging chunky Cinnabon coffee creamer. So unless you micro-dose this stuff and dunk each spoonful sporadically over the course of a day, each gut-punching spoonful of Cinnamon Roll Fillows with milk might form sedimentary layers of amber sugar in your stomach, rendering you a sedentary, sofa-anchored fossil. 

Yet, I’m sure cinnamon fans will love these Fillows, if they keep one caveat in mind: this is more ‘rumchata’ than ‘churro,’ so please spoon responsibly.

The Bottom Line: 9 Pillsburied trilo-bites out of 10

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Hershey’s Cookies ‘n’ Creme Fillows Review

If Cinnamon Roll Fillows slightly overshot their aim at an authentically gooey cinnamon bun, landing somewhere just shy of Starbucks Cinnamon Dolce syrup, then Cookies ‘n’ Creme Fillows shatters the target with a perfect bullseye.

But it wasn’t throwing Hershey’s Cookies ‘n’ Creme bars. No, it was chucking something far more cutting-edge: a bunch of little frisbees called Oreo O’s.

South Korean Oreo O’s, to be more specific. I am beyond happy to report that Cookies ‘n’ Creme Fillows are both a Krave and an American Oreo O’s killer. Fillows’ 360-degree armored sandwich cookies taste just like the legendary Asian adaptation of Extreme Creme Oreo O’s—which I have for years now considered my favorite cereal—retaining the subtle cocoa butter fudginess and marshmallowy pops that today’s domesticated Oreo O’s lack.

Cookies ‘n’ Creme Fillows also do the ‘cookies ‘n’ creme’ label more justice than any before it, as the decadent shell paired with the hybrid cream–icing filling makes the whole thing taste like a bowl of Uh Oh Cookies ‘n’ Creme ice cream—by which I mean scoops of pure cookie veined with vanilla.

Eating these Fillows with milk is only one degree of desperation away from dumping a packet of Mini Oreos into milk, and like its spicier sibling, these Fillows also pack a wallop, weighing on your torso like the memories of last night’s 3am cookie run. What sets CnC Fillows’ belly-bricking richness apart from Cinnamon Roll is simple: I would happily suffer for these milky mortars. 

As a distant spiritual descendant of my all-time favorite cereal, I was tempted to give these a perfect score. But snacking endurance is an important criterion in my book, and where SK Oreo O’s can be grazed on all day long, the sheer critical mass of Fillows must be given a reverent restraint, like any actual cookie jar or bowl of Cracklin’ Oat Bran—Fillows’ closest relative in the world of cereals that deceptively turn spoon-lifts into bicep curls.

The Bottom Line: 9.5 missing accènt marks out of 10

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If these brief reviews didn’t convince you, here’s my final advice: pick whichever Fillows flavors sounds more up your alley and spare no expense to try it. Should you and yours make it through the box with all intestines in tact, give the other a shot, too. Because if Fillows can win over a Krave hater like Gabe, then they must be powerfully persuasive cereal talismans indeed.