Y’know that scene in The Office where a quietly approaching Angela startles the $#!+ out of Dwight?

Yeah, that’s basically me and National Cereal Day. Every year, without fail, I forget it’s coming until the last minute—I mean, whose bright idea was it to put the holiday on a date as unassuming as March 7th?

That’s a purely rhetorical question, mind you, because National Cereal Day is historically a holiday with frustratingly nebulous origins. I’ve researched a number of obscure retro cereal topics, but no such searches have been at fruitless as my attempts to find out when, why, and through whom 3/7 was crunchfully commemorated. Rather, it’s always just seemed like an annual excuse for every cereal’s social media accounts to pop off with like….another picture of their cereal.

In short, National Cereal Day is like the overly commercialized Valentine’s Day of notable cereal dates (for me, the Christmas is the variable June date of the Battle Creek Cereal City Festival, which is finally returning this year!).

Therefore I rarely do any grand posts or gestures, instead celebrating privately with a big bowl of The Best Stuff (Trader Joe’s Raisin Bran Clusters with lactose-free milk). I’d also like to take this chance to catch you up on a bunch of new cereal news tidbits that’re both too tiddy and too bitty to warrant their own blog posts. It’s the seventh of March, so let’s do it up right with seven bite-sized blurbs—my own little offerings to National Cereal Day.

New Betty Crocker Lucky Charms Cupcake Kit

Hey, did you hear? Betty Crocker’s got a new Lucky Charms Cupcake Kit! And to be honest, I don’t really care all that much. Ms. Crocker’s Lucky Charms Pancake Mix already proved to me that General Mills likely won’t be going to any good lengths (let alone great ones) to infuse actual toasted-oat Lucky Charms flavor into the batter of these sweet cuppin’ cakes. Instead they’ll just have a vaguely defined marshmallowy sweetness and a topping of straight-up loose cereal pieces. To me, the only peripheral LC products that really nailed the cereal’s nuances were Burger King’s Shake and the ice cream—therefore suggesting viscous dairy is a crucial component.

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Apple Jacks Bunny

Mad respect for Frankford: they’re confectionary mercenaries. Between this, the Froot Loops Bunny, plus their many Pebbles candies, Frankford has no brand loyalty. You pay them enough, and they’ll pump their rabbit mold chock full of your cereal sauce of choice. So yeah, I bet this bunny will taste pretty good—Apple Jacks has a unique and relatively underutilized flavor profile that deserves a perk up like this.

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Limited Edition Pillsbury Lucky Charms Ready to Eat Cookies

Back to the world of Lucky Charms with these sugar cookies. And I’ll be honest, I have no idea what’s Limited Edition about these. Lucky Charms Pillsbury Cookies have been around for a bit, and these clovered ones look exactly the same, save for the packaging. Maybe there’s a higher proportion of clover marshmallows in there? Maybe they’ll +1 your real-life Luck stat? Or maybe a solar flare sent our timeline colliding with another one, wherein the worst tragedy befalling humankind was these cookies not coming out until a year later.

Chilling to think about, but speaking of chilling, I do love that you can eat these straight out of the fridge. I could be through with the whole package faster than my oven can preheat.

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Lucky Charms: The Book!

Sorry, one more jaunt with Lucky: he’s got a kid’s book called The Magic Inside! I’m sure this news won’t be too exciting for my adult readers (which I just assume is most of you? If there are any elementary-aged kids reading this…uh…stay in school!), but what I found interesting was the method for acquiring the book. Lucky Charms gave away a bunch of them through what they’re calling a Magic Makers Club, which is essentially a subscription list for dedicated Charmers (this is what I’m calling LC fans; almost went with “Luckheads”) to get early product news, deals, and activities. I can’t imagine you’d hear the new product news faster from this channel than from snack bloggers like myself, plus I’d rather not  receive even more inevitable spam email, but anyway: you can read the book digitally through the club page, too.

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Rice Krispies Milk Chocolate ‘N Cereal Eggs

No Lucky Charms, but hey: here’s Frankford again! Now they’re putting Rice Krispies in chocolate eggs. So basically, they’re Crunch eggs with an extra heaping helping of uncannily bunny-eared elven mascots. I will never get over how they look like wax sculptures that got left too close to a radiator.

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The Empty Bowl Episode 66

K, you got me: this isn’t cereal news at all, but rather a shameless plug for our newest podcast episode. The Empty Bowl is a meditative cereal podcast perfect for chillin out, maxin’, and or relaxin’. And in this one we talk about a bunch of the other things in this post!

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Happy #NationalCerealDay!! Let's celebrate with a little #Giveaway—

Simply FOLLOW me and RETWEET this for a chance to win a box of SpongeBob Toast Crunch, complete with a bizarrely sharp & heavy spatula. This set is sold out online and will not be sold in stores! pic.twitter.com/oZQwwj18Mi

— Cerealously 🥛🥣 (@cerealouslynet) March 7, 2022

SpongeBob Toast Crunch Giveaway

Okay, the last bit of news is that General Mills sent me a (weirdly well protected) box of SpongeBob Toast Crunch, as well as a spatula engraved with both SB and a Cinnamoji. And let me tell you, this thing is heavy and sharp enough to chisel the gristle off a grill that’s fried a lot worse than a Krabby Patty.

Oh, the other half of the news is that by retweeting this tweet, you could win it! Best of luck, and once again, Happy National Cereal Day! Someone please ping me a week before the next one.