Need something to Brite-n your day? Okay, do you need four things to brighten your day after that terrible pun?
Well you’re in luck, because there are four new episodes in cereal archivist Gabe Fonseca’s Cereal Time YouTube series. Longtime Cereal Time binge watchers know the drill, but I’ll catch everyone else up to speed on this series in one sentence:
One man spotlights one cereal every one week to produce three-to-four fun-filled minutes of breakfast nostalgia.
Intrigued? Let’s start somewhere over the rainbow with Gabe’s episode on Rainbow Brite Cereal. As he states in the video, this 1985 cereal was a tie-in with Rainbow Brite’s animated feature film, and it features a literal rainbow of fruity and crunchy…shapes?
The more logical would see them as Rainbow Brite’s hair curls or shirt sleeves, but I prefer to call them “Macaroni & cheese mixed with the colorful grubs Timon and Pumbaa eat in The Lion King.”
Which is an appropriate reference, since not only did Timon and Pumbaa get their own 2003 Mud & Bugs Cereal, but Gabe’s ancient bowl of Rainbow Brite Cereal also contained actual insect parts.
Delicious, milky protein!
Next up is Kaboom. This 1969 cereal has quite the underrated legacy, as it survived all the way until 2010 before being discontinued. But as Gabe’s video details, the rainbow smiley faces in every box went through several iterations, sometimes featuring marshmallows, and eventually ‘going to the dark side’ when it shifted from an oat-based formula to a corn-based formula.
Anyone who’s ever read the comments section in a Monster Cereals blog post knows that corn-based formulas are rarely popular in cereal circles. Seriously: I feel bad for General Mills’ Facebook page during October.
All corny smiles and oat-y frowns aside, I also hope Kaboom will return to shelves one day. Perhaps like Stephen King’s Pennywise the Dancing Clown, Kaboom’s clown just needs to slumber for a while.
Actually, wait—let’s not hope Kaboom is anything like Stephen King’s It. The only bloody faces I want to eat are the Smiley Fries I drown in ketchup.
Ready for Rocky Road cereal? This 1986 cereal is decidedly less rainbow-themed than the previous two discussed today, as Rocky Road prefers the rich earthen hues of sweet, sweet chocolate and vanilla.
But let’s ignore the color, and even the delicious flavor, for a second. Gabe hypes up Rocky Road’s three mascots: Choco, Marsha, and Van, and for good reason, too. I mean, just watch the video for this band’s kickin’ tunes, then stare at these guys again until you’re cross-eyed and seeing hidden images like in one of those stereograms.
Rocky Road Cereal may only have lasted 3 years, but like the tunes of Van Halen, Van, Choco, and Marsha will live on in our hearts. I’m not saying General Mills has to re-release this cereal, but they should at least consider using the idea of “nutty chocolate-coated marshmallows” in other cereals.
Maybe in Cocoa Puffs? Reese’s Puffs? Heck, just coat an entire box of Cheerios in nutty chocolate marshmallow fluff and I’ll chew on the cardboard.
Okay, I lied when I said each video contained only one cereal—and when I said it would be 3-4 minutes. But I think we can all make an exception for an athletic Cap’n Crunch and the two heralding angels of the pumpkin spice cereal season.
First up is Cap’n Crunch’s Touchdown Crunch: another sports rendition of Cap’n Crunch’s Crunchberries, just like this summer’s HomeRun Crunch. I’m still looking for this cereal, but I’m excited by what I see. The flavor may not be lime, blueberry, or maple bacon pigskin like I hoped, but the gorgeous artwork features a surprisingly buff Cap’n on the front and a charming treasure trove of retro Cap’n Crunch mascots on the back.
Then there are our pumpkin spice twins: Pumpkin Spice Life and Pumpkin Spice Cheerios. I’ve already tried and enjoyed both, and Gabe shares many of my thoughts about Life’s pie-esque goodness and Cheerios’ amazing endmilk.
You know what they say: great pumpkin minds think alike. Unless that pumpkin mind is inside Pumpkinhead, in which case you might want to run.
If you’re pumped to watch more Cereal Time, every episode can be found here, and you can check out Gabe’s Twitter, as well.