It’s about time those backstabbing cookies held up their end of the bargain.

See, during a publicized black market trade deal back in 2014, Snap, Crackle, and Pop sold off their DNA to Nabisco, so those cookie-smiths could craft their groundbreaking Marshmallow Crispy Oreos. But the trio of pixies only did it on one condition: in return, Nabisco would have to send over strands of unadulterated sandwich cookie DNA, so Kellogg’s could make an Oreo Rice Krispies Treat.

But they never did. Ever wonder why Nabisco so conveniently moved production operations to Mexico shortly after? It was to avoid a crackling vendetta.

But their relentless mascot mafia, with the help of the Keebler Elf yakuza, finally tracked down the Oreo formula they sought, and now we have these new Cookies ‘N’ Creme Rice Krispies Treats. It’s been a long snack snafu*, and many were left sleeping with the Flavor-Blasted Goldfish, but now I can finally stop painstakingly mixing my Rice Krispies and Oreo O’s.

*Note, none of the above is true, but it would make a killer graphic novel, wouldn’t it?

Let’s just get the bad news out of the way, first: our boys must’ve gotten bad bio-matter, because Cookies ‘N’ Creme Rice Krispies Treats don’t taste anything like Oreos, Hydrox, Twist & Shouts, Creme Betweens, or whatever other sub-par store brand chocolate sandwich cookie your local mom & pop shop has on sale next to the deer corn.

See that layer of tiny chocolate BBs? They don’t taste like anything—or maybe they do, but you’d have to eat a baker’s dozen-worth of these pigs-in-a-blanket-sized Treats to sense a hint of milky chocolate.

This means these Faux-reo Rice Krispies Treats are held together purely by virtue of their creaminess. And to be fair, they’re pretty darn creamy. Equal parts milky and whipped-buttery, with hints of oil and vanilla, the light cream drizzle and thick cream base of these Krispies Treats reminds me of sugar cookie frosting.

If I’m ever going through a terrible break-up, I’ll be sure to take a spoon to this stuff.

In fact, combined with the classic, sugary-butter-marshmallowy Rice Krispies base, Cookies ‘N’ Creme Rice Krispies Treats come pretty close to emulating a holiday sugar cookie—albeit a tiny, airy, less toasty, and store-bought one that’s shaped like “SpongeBob meets The Elephant Man” instead of a snowflake or Christmas tree.

I hoped that dunking my Treat like a true Oreo would unlock some sort of ancient Nabiscoan flavor magic, but it just made the previously hyper-chewy slab a tough, crunchy brick. I will say that a quick milk soaking did make the cream even tastier, though. Much like a certain recent Kellogg’s cereal, the mixture of crunch and buttercream resulted in a confection similar to Keebler Frosted Animal Crackers.

But despite these pleasantries, Cookies ‘N’ Creme Rice Krispies Treats don’t live up to the premise on their packaging. These hyper-creme-y snacks are tasty, but not really unique enough to set them far above standard Rice Krispies Treats. The smart decision here would have been to use Cocoa Krispies for the base instead, and for that lapse in judgement I’m only going to eat the entire package within an afternoon.

Hey, I guess they are kind of like Oreos then!

The “Bowl:” Kellogg’s Cookies & Cream Rice Krispies Treats

The Breakdown: With sugar cookie-esque overtones, but nary a hint of sandwich cookie undertone, these new Treats leave me feeling tricked—or at least like I got hit in the face by a clown’s whipped cream pie.

The Bottom Line: 6.5 Flavor-Blasted Piranha out of 10