These are not the discontinued Frosted Chocolate Vanilla Creme Pop-Tarts you once knew and loved. No: these are Frosted Chocolate Vanilla Crème Pop-Tarts!
Do you see the difference?
It’s that sophisticated “è,” which requires you to serve every pastry as an appetizer, hors d’oeuvre, or dessert at a classy dinner gala.
See, the è has never appeared on packages before: not when Chocolate Vanilla Creme Pop-Tarts were first introduced (no one knows exactly when—not even the authoritative Pop-Tarts Wiki), not when they were discontinued in 2009, and not even when they were briefly revived in 2014 as a Limited Edition flavor for Pop-Tarts’ 50th birthday.
But now these Chocolate Vanilla Crème Pop-Tarts, complete with the accent mark, are back as a Kroger store exclusive and wrapped in debonaire foil before me. Time to scarf one down with my pinky out, like a true toaster pastry gentleman.
Chocolate Vanilla Crème Pop-Tart Pt. 1:
“Straight Outta the Wrapper”
Ahh, just look at that icing snow drift, spotted with chocolate sparkles like an inverted map of the stars.
If you’re like 8-year old me, then the question you’re repeatedly yelling at your public library computer while the librarian aggressively shushes you is, “But how are these any different than Cookies & Creme Pop-Tarts??”
After one bite, the answer is clear: because these chocolatey and creamy Pop-Tarts aren’t meant to mimic Oreo cookies. They’re meant to mimic Hostess Cupcakes.
The similarities are uncanny—I had to do a double-take when first tasting my Tart, just to make sure good ol’ Captain Cupcake hadn’t swapped the pastry out for a real sponge cake. Chocolate Vanilla Creme Pop-Tarts don’t have enough buttercream bite to compare them to real frosted chocolate cake, but they do have enough processed butteriness to make them a dead ringer for Ring Dings or Ding Dongs.
The cocoa crust is fluffy, with a faint infusion of fudginess that lurks behind the sort of boring flour overtones. The filling is signature Hostess, too, with a pleasant half-whipped cream, half-vanilla custard taste. And the icing? Well…it’s sugary, and that’s about all we could hope for.
From a Pop-Tart standpoint, it’s a lot like a Chocolate Fudge one, but with vanilla guts instead of chocolate: not terribly exciting, and not as good as Cookies & Creme, but definitely a summer delight for fans of nostalgic snack cakes.
Chocolate Vanilla Crème Pop-Tart Pt. 2:
“A Toast to a Toaster”
I don’t want to spend much time on my toasted Chocolate Vanilla Creme Pop-Tart, because it makes me sad. Sure, the filling becomes frothy and drippy, but it tastes like a small gnome inside my toaster sucked all the vanilla away with his magic gnome vacuum. Just like in all those classic fairy tales that we all totally read, right?
What’s left is molten sugar goo leaking out of a crisp chocolate shell topped with more half-melted sugar. I liked the more browned and crunchy crust, but it couldn’t make up for all the hollow, granulated disappointment.
Chocolate Vanilla Crème Pop-Tart Pt. 3:
“The Polar Pastry Express”
Other people are advocates for things like low-carb diets, CrossFit, or opening all their presents on Christmas Eve instead of Christmas Day (why?). But I’m an eternal advocate for frozen Pop-Tarts. Nearly every flavor can be made better with a little cold, except for Cookies & Creme, which for some reason takes on a funky freezer burned aftertaste.
So I was hesitant to freeze Chocolate Vanilla Crème, but it turns out my fears were unfounded. These pastries take on a funky aftertaste that makes me want to dance to disco music and immediately apologize to all onlookers. One part Fudgsicle, two parts ice cream sandwich, and one more part frozen Chocodile, these make for a pleasantly chill summer day treat.
However, I still found myself choosing to eat these Pop-Tarts at room temperature. There are better frozen chocolate dessert options out there (why hello there, Choco Taco), but the plain cream ‘n’ cocoa taste of a Hostess Cupcake never fails to throw me back to childhood. This isn’t Kellogg’s most thrilling Pop-Tart flavor, but since it might disappear forever next time, it’s worth buying a box to throw in your safety deposit box.
Now excuse me while I watch old Hostess Commercials until my heart pumps cream filling.
The “Bowl:” Frosted Chocolate Vanilla Crème Pop-Tarts
The Breakdown: Even though it will be few people’s favorite, this is Kellogg’s Hostess-est Pop-Tart yet, with chocolate cake-y crust and satisfying whipped filling.
The Bottom Line: 7 petitions to bring back Chauncey Chocodile out of 10
(Quick Nutrition Facts: 190 calories, <1 gram of fiber, 19 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein per 1 pastry serving)
***If you’re hungry for more, our friends at The Impulsive Buy reviewed Chocolate Vanilla Creme Pop-Tarts (without the è) 2 years ago for Pop-Tarts’ 50th birthday.***
Please bring them back. I don’t like any other Pop tarts but those. When you have them I buy them every week.
Please please please bring back the chocolate vanilla cream!!!!! The best flavor ever invented!!!
My favorite flavor. So glad they are back. The chocolate fudge ones are just too much chocolate for first thing in the morning. Chocolate Vanilla Cream, just right.
Alright Dan… Since i not just love to read your cereal reviews ’cause we share the same passion for them, but I also like reading your pop tart reviews, since they are written with such an intensity, that makes me always wonder if you like them way more than cereal, I have to ask stupid questions again xD
Though I’m more into cereal (while my gf could die for pop tarts) I always feel the urge to get me a way too expensive pop tart. With that said it’s maybe (or maybe not) understandable, that I want to get there best experience out of the few times I actually can enjoy them ’cause my gf somehow talked me into buying them… again…
Therefore (and although I already asked about this) I never tried them plain (non toasted or microwaved) or even frozen. my girlfriend once tried a strawberry pop tart but was utterly disappointed after I highly praised the idea coming from you; so I was afraid or to be more honest spinelessly and always went for the safer way I know I like.
Question now is: right now I only have one opened box of cinnamon roll pop tarts (yeah the Limited Edition…) lying around here, would you recommend trying to get into the world of non toasted and frozen pop tarts with them? Meaning: did you already tried them plain and/or frozen and are you able to say if the experience is worth risking a part of a 10euro box of cinnamony pop tarts? xD
And while we’re at it and I really really love the fact you always try the pop tarts in three different way: as far as my experience goes toasted pop tarts are better since they got the crunchiness and slightly toasted flavor from the toaster, microwaving them is something “completely” different. Did you ever consider to get this method into your reviews too?
Cause I’m curious if just warmed up Not so crunchy Pastries with warmed gooey filling Could beat the toasted alternative (never! But hey… It’s still possible)
And to be not thaaaat off topic: Though I’m not a big fan of those chocolate and cream rip offs that listens to be Oreo flavor (which they never are, even with Oreo pieces in it) this one seems to be something I could like too. Not just because it’s an overly sweet pop tart but because I had to learn that besides my antipathy against chocolate I like chocolate pastries with cream or white chocolate filling way better than the other way round. Vanilla pastry with chocolate filling.
Thanks for the review as always!
Ha, glad you like the Pop-Tart exposés! As for the Cinnamon Roll, there are few Pop-Tarts that straight up don’t work at room temp or frozen (Cookies & Creme being the notable exception), so I say go for it!
As for microwaving, I used to eat microwaved Pop-Tarts all the time as a kid, but as I’ve grown older, I generally find them far too floppy and limp to be worth trying every time.
It’s not just you. The first time my gf and i were eating pop tarts we were microwaving them ’cause we were afraid of them ruining our kitchen while going up in flames when toasted in a toaster xD
And we really liked it and never cared again about toasting them, since a month ago or so, where we (more i) decided we’ve to finally eat the last pop tarts that were way beyond their bb date (xD) and i pushed the idea of finally trying to warm them in the toaster and what can i say: the toastet crust is way more amazing (though microwavin is still not bad, especially if you want a “fluffier” crust). ^^
Nevertheless i will try the last package plain and frozen then hm? i’mean what can i loose?
Thanks as always especially for getting through my wall of text again (which is probably always written in an awful english ^^)