I’m getting old.

3. That’s like, 29 in blog years. I’m not ready to be outgrowing trendy latte bars!

But I realize the hypothetical age of this blog is entropically ambiguous, as I equally praise both the sugary innocence of Lucky Charms and the hearty sensibility of Raisin Bran, so let’s just agree that 3 is probably too old to be making extensive fanfare. That’s why I won’t be doing a quantitative analysis of score distribution this year—in blog years, that was decades ago! Numbers are a young man’s game!

But I will still say thank you to everyone who continues to read this site, and greetings to those who recently stumbled upon it and decided to stick around. I hope you like Simpsons references and six-adjective sentences. I mean it when I say your support inspires me to keep writing/crunching/munching/spooning.

In celebration I made this tiny cereal treat. It’s made from Kellogg’s recently released Birthday Cake Rice Krispies (read the review and see my other birthday cake product reviews here), and it sure isn’t Gordon Ramsay, but it’s better than a Gordon Food Service dumpster.

Here’s the recipe for all you Pinteresters out there.

1) Fashion one (1) Kellogg’s Birthday Cake Rice Krispies Treat into a roughly sprinkled pizza slice using a pizza cutter, knife, or spool of hot wire.

2) Feed the trimmin’s to your nearest Furby (or humans if you’re desperate).

3) Microwave a bundle (approximately two bunches of white chocolate chips (the chipperer the better: this is a birthday party!) for 64 seconds (give or take 32 seconds. you know how chocolate chips are).

4) Using a spool of hot wire (if you haven’t completed your hot wire certification, use a knife instead), spread the gooey white chocolate bog across the Rice Krispizza in a dolloped, classically Little Caesarian pattern.

5) Repeat Step 1, being sure to keep the A/C on (bogs bubble when warmed!).

6) Plant brick #2 on top brick #1.

7) Attempt and fail to PhotoShop out all the sticky bits.

Serve on marble and have a happy C3realously Day!