We have a favorite saying over at The Empty Bowl podcast—when it grains, it pours. Which is just a cheeky way of saying that after long bouts of little new cereal news, the milky floodgates tend to open all at once, and my ever-slowing bloggin’ fingers have especially struggled to keep up lately. So instead of fumbling my way through filler-some 200-word posts for every topical breakfast blurb, I figured I’d just wrangle ’em all into this post and blaze through each headline—so you can spend less time reading and more time zooming to whichever grocery store, doughnuttery, or Foot Locker has the line item you’re most interested in.

First up is Trix Trax, which, aside from being the most fun-to-say cereal product since Froot Loops Peeps Pops, isn’t terribly groundbreaking. This Jurassic World tie-in tweaks the shapes of each Trix piece into dinosaur tracks, while adding three different marshmallows: two multi-colored stegosaurish things and…”dinosaur eggs,” which is of course just code for “the little round marbits we’ve been putting in cereal for eons already.”

Trix with marshmallows isn’t new either, but at least the box art for Trix Trax is cool. It’s weird to see the cartoony Trix Rabbit go toe-to-talon with a comparatively realistic T-Rex, plus with the Rabbit’s front-facing eyes, it raises the question of who’s the real alpha predator here.

Next up we have two new Cheerios varieties hitting shelves now.

Honey Vanilla Cheerios don’t outwardly seem all that exciting—especially without Buzz the Bee fronting the stuff—but as I’ve often learned, well-behaved Cheerios very often make history, so I bet the subtle sweetness of these will be humbly charming, all the same.

Banana Caramel Cheerios sound way more sticky-sweet and satisfying. They sound like the natural next step from Banana Nut Cheerios in terms of browned-banana-ness, leading me to believe that, assuming this is a three-stage Poké-evolution in progress, the final stage will be Pitch Brown Bananas You’ve Had In The Freezer For Three Months Under The Pretense Of Maybe Some Day Making Banana Bread Cheerios.

Then there’s a Lightyear movie cereal from Kellogg’s, and the less said about it, the better. It’s the same as Kellogg’s last twelve multigrain ‘n’ marbit licensed cereals, it’s an embarrassment to the legacy of Buzz Blasts, and by this point I’ll have spent more time writing about it than Kellogg’s did ideating it. Next!

Krispy Kreme is once again teaming up with Cinnamon Toast Crunch, this time for a much more elaborate partnership than just a cinnamon roll. The idea of a CTC cinnamon milk glaze feels sinfully ingenious, and I hope KK offers the option to straight-up buy it by the gelatinous jar-full, so I can add it to my collection of variably viscous CTC slop.

Finally, we have a suite of General Mills Cereal Crocs—whose designs run the gamut from scatologically hideous (Cinnamon Toast Crunch) and plain ol’ poor taste hideous (Trix) to appetizing in an abstract Oreo swirl sorta way (Cocoa Puffs) and passably fashionable with the right outfit (Honey Nut Cheerios).

Either way, one things for sure: the soulless eyes of Jibbitz Buzz the Bee will burn a lasting hole in my own retinas, not unlike a gazed-upon abyss or eclipse.

And that’s all for now—sorry for being a bad breaking-news blogger lately, but you can always stay tuned to my Twitter for more to-the-minute updates.