Kept you waiting, huh?

The Empty Bowl’s brief hiatus is over, and we’re back with the most subdued, welcoming and genial vengeance you’ve ever heard. For those who have yet to bring their daily anxieties back to an edible equilibrium, welcome to our milky oasis: The Empty Bowl is a podcast wherein Justin McElroy and I explore the latest goings-on in the news-o-sphere of airy new cereal spheres. But timely information is only our secondary goal—we’re mostly focused on inoculation against stress and bad vibes, as our munchie meditations hopefully hark back innocent memories, of when all us human souls were just swimming together in a primordial soup of stardust and Sprinkle Spangles.

In this tenth-most of episodes, we cover some upcoming Kellogg’s cereals, grill Honey Brunches of Oats’ meaty new flavors, and expose the legend of a Legend of Zelda cereal that time—and heroes of it—has largely forgotten.

If your day’s riddled with more worries than one episode can handle, you can find more 20–30 minute soothing soundscapes at our Anchor hub, follow along on Twitter, or send in a listener question. We can’t discuss or respond to every email, but they definitely influence our dreams, so be sure to send a few about milkshake jacuzzis.

Forgive the lateness on sharing our latest show: I was too busy cleaning Caticorn Cereal, which you’ll likely hear about again in the next episode out of my carpet.

Top 2 Photos Taken Seconds Before Disaster pic.twitter.com/PVJWro7Md1

— Cerealously 🥛🥣 (@cerealouslynet) February 28, 2019

Now that I’ve surely assuaged any timely anxiety with therapeutically cute feline mischievousness, I can talk about the latest Empty Bowl. New to our intercontinental breakfast relaxation station? I’ll explain it in six words:

Me. Justin McElroy. Cereal. Chillness.

See, true meditative minimalism doesn’t need six. We’ll let you keep that last word for your own use. Might I suggest something nice like “obviate” or “crispness”?

On this episode, Justin and I cover Trader Joe’s latest cereal, challenge the status quo with a Pop-Tart review, and finally address our listeners’ ever-pressing inquiries about cereal mixes. Along the way, we trade plenty of chuckles, a few wizened “teehees,” and a pasteurized ocean’s worth of crashing waves as we float through your airwaves. Hope you brought your Cap’n Crunch epaulette water wings.

If you’re still hungry, or if you just forgot to drink the milk (heresy, but the forgivable kind), you can find more 20–30 minute ear snacks at our Anchor hub, follow along on Twitter, or send in a listener question. We can’t discuss or respond to every email, but we certainly won’t hit you with an awkward out-of-the-office auto-response.

Because this vacation’s all yours.

What’s the cure for a stressful schedule? Stack up your queue and call it a day.

Yes, The Empty Bowl is back after a brief, technologically stymied hiatus, and cohost Justin McElroy and I have brought a number of appropriately hollow platitudes with it. The latest appetizing apparition in our meditative cereal mirage of a podcast, Eight is pretty much my favorite episode yet.

On the menu this time? Morning mystery meats, massive quantities of powdered sugar, and a cereal myth so sweet you could hang your (clearly labelled) hat on it. To that last point, anyone curious to see the SPOILER ALERT…Quaker PB & J replica box discussed can find it here.

If this is your first trip to our great cereal bowl in the sky, you can find more 20–30 minute delectable de-compression chambers at our Anchor hub, follow along on Twitter, or send in a listener question. We can’t discuss or respond to every email, but I assure you that each one still subconsciously informs my shopping lists (so be sure to subliminally mention doughnuts more often—and maybe cauliflower, for balance).

I don’t mean to brag, but this is my mom’s favorite episode yet.

Or maybe least favorite, as The Empty Bowl’s seventh journey into the pearly milk gates of calming cereal paradise covers my biggest childhood cereal influence’s debatably unjust disposal of preciously Honey Bunched goodness.

But while I (lovingly!) wait for her testimony, allow me to remind you as always of our podcast’s goal. Hosted by Justin McElroy and myself, The Empty Bowl is your roughly biweekly snack of sweetly serialized and cerealized catharsis. In addition to cereal dust drama, Seven explores Cap’n Crunch’s latest tempting treasures, my second Walmart walk of shamelessness, and some truly questionable* Pop-Tart copywriting.

*I don’t mean to say I could do any better, but I did once invent a clever term** for when people wrongly interpret other brands as better than Pop-Tarts.

Thank you all for the continued support and kind words about the podcast. If you’d like to subscribe or support the show, you can visit our Anchor hub, follow along on Twitter, or send in a listener question. All relevant Honey Bunches of Oats grievances will be forwarded to our most crisply suited breakfast lawyers.

**It’s “misconstruedel.”