Welcome back to The Empty 𝘽𝙊𝙊!-wl.

There, now that you’re properly petrified from that mid-sentence jump scare, you’re also in luck, because the latest (and last episode before Halloween) of The Empty Bowl is 31 minutes of creepy-calming cereal shop-talking. Join Justin and I as we get salty about Pop-Tart shells, review my mortally damning Grape-Nuts crime, and catch you up on the eye-popping hereditary history of Halloween Froot Loops.

If there’s something strange in your mental neighborhood, you can call on nineteen other episodes of cereal stress-busting at our Anchor hub, follow along on Twitter, or send in a listener question. We can’t discuss or respond to every email, but each one makes me eat a bowl of cereal. My life’s in your hands.

Feelin’ blue? Then we’re berry excited (Justin’s joke, not mine) to share something that might make a grey day a little milky-whiter.

After a fourish week hiatus, Justin and I are back in The Empty Bowl to close out our “first season” with Episode XX. For the temperamentally troubled and unfamiliar, The Empty Bowl is an ever-placid voyage across a bottomless sea of milk—milk known for its epsom-esque therapeutic properties.

In this twentieth of all episodes, we cover a glutting gauntlet of upcoming blueberry cereals, juxtapose the highs & lows of coconuts & Chocula, and lend our expert advice to a few listeners with pressing pantry inquiries.

If you want to hear us talk until we’re proverbially blue in the face, you can find nineteen other episodes of cereal seafaring at our Anchor hub, follow along on Twitter, or send in a listener question. We can’t discuss or respond to every email, but each one helps put a Crunchling through college.

Look deep inside yourself. You know it to be true:

You wish you could be a graham cracker.

Don’t fight it—we all feel the same. To be a wholesome sheet of baked flour, breezily aerated and tucked in beneath a tender blanket of honey? That’s some post-Saṃsāra level transcendent comfort right there.

And we at The Empty Bowl believe every listener deserves to feel as blissfully crisp as a grahamed-up rectangle—so much so that we believe we’ve made great contributions to graham cereal’s future trajectory. My and Justin‘s show is all about meditation through cereal, so if you’re in the market for a grating and industrially noisy podcast, you might want to record your own by tossing some Corn Flakes in a paper shredder.

But those amongst us who want to be nestled into tranquility by cereal news, reviews, and various other tomfooleries, join us for Episode Nineteen. In this one, we cover the wishy-washy return of Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch, more pumpkin carving decal disappointment, and a whole lot of Golden Grahams.

If you need more golden goodness, you can find eighteen other cereal escapades at our Anchor hub, follow along on Twitter, or send in a listener question. We can’t discuss or respond to every email, but each one opens up a new graham chakra inside me.

What do we want?

A diverse geometry of abstract cereal shapes!

When do we want ’em?

For breakfast! And as a midnight snack! And maybe for dinner!

If my latest review was any indication, I’m still incensed by the sugar ring redundancy going on in the cereal aisle. And although The Empty Bowl is an ever-ethereal and tranquil cereal podcast, we just had to spend some of this eighteenth episode airing our grievances. But don’t worry, we still air them in a “crisp mountain breeze” sort of way.

What else is new? Tune in and tune out negativity as Justin and I debate whether to play into Eggo’s retweet farm (although by this point, they’ve already won), sing the uncanny praises of pink confection, and repent to whatever Old God this is:

If you need more non-labor for your Labor Day, you can find more relaxing cereal respites at our Anchor hub, follow along on Twitter, or send in a listener question. We can’t discuss or respond to every email, but each email is worth a thousand retweets in my book.

*P.S., I’ve been out on vacation for a bit, but blog coverage will pick up again shortly. Thanks!

What do polygonal cereals, powdered pillows, and and the graham-focused platform of The Cereal Movement have in common?

They’re all talking points—or at least blunt edges—in The Empty Bowl’s latest 30-minute lullaby. For those tragically high-strung few who’ve yet to decompress with our light and loose explorations of variously dense cereals, clear your mind and schedule: crunch time has never felt so blissful.

In this episode, Justin and I hype up a potential new Golden Age for Lucky Charms, get oily with Chocolate Peanut Butter Pops, and cool off with a couple iced cereal beverage ideas.

If you want to keep up The Cereal Movement’s momentum, you can find more bubbly cereal soapboxes at our Anchor hub, follow along on Twitter, or send in a listener question. We can’t discuss or respond to every email, but they’ll be your birthday gift to me.