While America’s northern neighbors may not get a lot of the exclusive flavors we get in the States (I’m dedicating my Orange CreamPop Crunch box to you, Canada), they sure do get a lot of cool cereal package designs.
Take these bold Star Wars Cheerios boxes—presumably released in anticipation of this winter’s Rogue One—for example. While in the U.S., we merely got General Mills Mascots redesigned in Star Wars garb for The Force Awakens, Canadian breakfasters get to make eye contact with Darth Vader himself.
Now I just want to see Buzz the Bee face off against the Sith Lord. While my money’s on Anakin, Buzz’s wings do give him the higher ground.
But it isn’t just lightsabers that’ll be gracing Canadian kitchen tables. They get linebackers, too. Continue reading →
“It’s just Crunchberries in different shapes. It’s just Crunchberries in different shapes. It’s just Crunchberries in different shapes.”
I can remind myself again and again that Cap’n Crunch’s annually released holiday cereal is the exact same as his year-round fare, just color filtered and molded into barely recognizable trees, snowmen, stars, and Santa hats. But every year, I just don’t care. Christmas Crunch’s yearly return always fills me to the brim with Yuletide merriment, and in a way, it’s a heralding angel of all the winter fun that’s soon to come.
I spotted the above cardboard igloo of Christmas Crunch boxes at my local Spartan store, but the light-bedecked Cap’n has also been spotted at Target and many other major stores.
The first thing that Christmas Crunch connoisseurs will notice is that we’ve got a brand new box design for 2016. This comes after what felt like 1,225 repeated iterations of that infamous gaudy red box. Of course, knowing the talented mind behind Cap’n Crunch’s illustration, I’m not at all surprised that this year’s Clark Griswoldian box is so mindblowing (and presumably fuse-blowing).
I want to do an annual re-review of Christmas Crunch right this very moment, throwing all Thanksgiving plans to the wind and blasting “Wonderful Christmastime” out my window with the intensity of a JG Wentworth commercial. But I know it’s too soon: if I review every holiday cereal so impulsively, I’d run out of seasonal content by Black Friday. And you really don’t want to see me spend December desperately trying to connect Raisin Bran to the holidays.
I’d imagine it involves sadness, a VHS copy of the SpongeBob Christmas special, and a lot of crushed up scented pinecones.
So look for a full review of Christmas Crunch 2016 in the coming month. For now, know that it’s out there and grab a box of your own for an early espresso shot of holiday cheer. And if you’d like to see your own picture or thoughts featured on Cerealously’s next “Spooned & Spotted” post, all you have to do is head over to our submissions page or email us at cerealously.net@gmail.com.
I know nothing about Disney’s upcoming Moana movie, but Kellogg’s latest cereal tie-in with the film still sends my imagination spinning.
What if Kellogg’s played off the movie’s island setting and made this cereal’s crunchy swirls coconut-flavored? What if the orange sun marshmallows taste like mangoes? And what if there’s a mail away offer on the back of the box that let’s you exchange 10 UPC labels + shipping and handling for your very own pet pig?
Deep down, I know none of this is true. Moana Cereal’s hypnotic snail shell pieces are probably just Kellogg’s Cinnabon pieces stripped of all cinnamon heat and dressed up with a sugary syrup glaze. The marshmallows are probably just, you know, marshmallow-flavored. And the real exchange rate of UPC labels to baby pigs is probably way more than 10:1.
I’ll at least give Kellogg’s props for marshmallow innovation here. Instead of including the same white orbs they’re famous for and repackaging them as “whirlpools and sugary seafoam,” there are lovingly crafted, dual color palm trees. I’m still not sure what the blue star marbits are supposed to represent, though.
Probably the 5-star reviews that every critic will give Moana.
This photo was found by yours truly, with help from tipster Gabe Fonseca, on Target’s website after seeing a photo of Europe’s Moana Cereal variant, which, of course, doesn’t have marshmallows. While it hasn’t been spotted in the wild yet, Target’s site says it’s in stock at my local store.
I’ll hop on my trusty travel pig and get back to you.
If you’d like to see your own picture or thoughts featured on Cerealously’s next “Spooned & Spotted” post, all you have to do is head over to our submissions page or email us at cerealously.net@gmail.com.
Hopefully that grabbed your attention. It’s been a while since we last checked in with our friend Gabe Fonseca’s Cereal Time YouTube series—which spotlights a different cereal each week in a fun and nostalgic way. Decades from now, Breakfast History 101 professors will screen Gabe’s episodes as insightful windows into the cereal culture of days gone by.
Even in the twinkling, chrome future, the teachers will probably still show them on those ancient rolling TV carts, too.
To bring you up to speed on Gabe’s Cereal Time efforts, we’re going to have a viewing party for his five latest episodes. So let’s all build a blanket fort, pop some popcorn, and get cozy, because we’ve got years of memories to relive.
You did remember to bring the powdered nacho cheese topping for the popcorn, right? Continue reading →
It’s okay. Stars are cool, too. They’re certainly more Christmasy than any old squares—even deliciously buttered sugared squares!
Oh, it’s no use. I’m sitting here trying to justify General Mills’ apparent decision to replace Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch—a 2014-2015 cult classic loved by children, food reviewers, and probably adorable panda bears everywhere—with the grinning, quintuply pointed cinnamon corn puffs seen above. But I just can’t seem to do it. The only way star-shaped puffs could ever be better than Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch would be if General Mills decided to also reuse their shapes to revive Sprinkle Spangles.
I’d sacrifice a fresh batch of gingerbread men to bring back Sprinkle Spangles.
This exclusive sneak peek was provided by our friends over at Junk Banter, whose junk food news and reviews are always on point—or in this case, on all five points.
Junk Banter got this picture of Cinnamon Star Crunch, fresh off the truck and in the backroom of a Target. We can only assume that the cereal will hit shelves soon, likely in early November when the world’s pumpkins and Count Choculas begin their winter hibernation. But while we wait, let’s analyze what can.
This holiday cereal shift has been secretly occurring right beneath our cookie-loving noses for months: it turns out that General Mills filed their “Cinnamon Star Crunch” trademark way back in March. Cinnamon Star Crunch also uses the same packaging design as last year’s Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch iteration, and it also appears to diverge from the typical “Toast Crunch formula” of wheat and rice flour. I predict that cinnamon on corn will produce a dramatically different flavor than we know from Cinnamon Toast Crunch and that these repurposed SpongeBob Cereal pieces stars will soak up milk even faster.
While this isn’t a complete confirmation that Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch won’t return for 2016, this back of the box image, also generously provided by the sleuths at Encyclopedia J. Banter, only shows Holiday Sprinkles Cookie Crisp as being a part of General Mills’ holiday ensemble. Holiday Sprinkles Cookie Crisp is great and all, but no number of sugar sparkles and awful winter puns can heal the broken heart left behind by an unexpected Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch breakup.
If you’re like me and Junk Banter—who is one of the few earthlings who loves Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch than me—and want to see those snowy, fresh-baked squares return, it’s worth rallying for them on social media.
Maybe we can even get the big man himself to support our cause:
.@OfficialSanta you're with me on this, right? Wouldn't you love to get a bowl of Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch & Milk from kids everywhere?
Cerealously’s European readers are probably familiar with Lion Cereal, but hungry Americans like me are roaring with jealousy, because an entire Atlantic Ocean separates us from chocolatey, caramel-y breakfast happiness.
Longtime Spooned & Spotter Marc P. sent in the above photo of a Lion Cereal box he procured on a trip to Copenhagen, and if I could reach through the Internet and snatch a spoonful of it from him, you better believe I’d be elbow deep in my monitor right now.
Lion Cereal has been a European favorite since the early 2000s, when Nestlé introduced it as a loose cereal version of their classic Lion Bar, a wafered chocolate bar stuffed with crisped cereal and caramel. Lion Cereal contains chocolate and caramel-flavored crisps, too, which is a truly unique flavor that’s unheard of in American cereal aisles. I mean sure, you could mix Superman Cereal with Batman Cereal, blend Cap’n Crunch’s Caramel Popcorn Crunch with Chocolatey Crunch, or just crumble Chocolatey Caramel Pop-Tarts into a bowl with milk, but none of those have a beastly lion mascot.
Just moody superheroes, an old ship captain with eyebrows on his hat, and a trip to the dentist.
Hopefully I can find an international grocer around me that has Lion Cereal imported. Otherwise, I might just splurge and scour eBay for a box. This might be dangerous, though: if Lion Cereal is Europe’s best exclusive cereal and Oreo O’s are the cereal pride of Asia, then bringing both into the same household with Waffle Crisp—America’s best exclusive cereal—could bring too much talismanic cereal energy together in one place.
I’m just trying to eat a balanced breakfast here, not tear a hole in the space-time continuum.
A big thanks to Marc for sending in this photo. If you’d like to see your own picture or thoughts featured on Cerealously’s next “Spooned & Spotted” post, all you have to do is head over to our submissions page or email us at cerealously.net@gmail.com.
Player 1, please press start. Because we’ve got a heck of a cereal adventure ahead of us.
But I’m not talking about Chex Quest—though I always wish that I am. No, I just want to share the latest videos from cereal high scorer Gabe Fonseca’s Cereal Time YouTube series. On every episode of Cereal Time, Gabe dives into his personal breakfast archives to share the history and continued legacy of cereals both famous and obscure.
And this time, he’s pulling an arcade cabinet classic out of his cereal cabinet.
The first video we’re sharing is about Pac-Man Cereal! There’s something so magical about video game cereals (it’s actually a topic I had the chance to write about recently!). Whether it’s the way they infuse neon-tinged nostalgia into every piece or the way their sugary taste pairs perfectly with secret late night gaming sessions—don’t crunch too loud, or Mom will hear—video game cereals are like distilled geometric bits of pure childhood. Continue reading →
It’s September, which means I can finally start using the term “Halloweeny” in public without sounding like I’m talking about a cheddar hot dog that tragically came without any cheese filling. Though trust me: I will be making a lot of those crescent roll mummy Halloweiners.
So what better way to kick off the boo-na fide Halloween season than with everyone’s favorite spooky trilogy? No, I don’t mean a marathon session of all three I Know What You Did Last Summer movies: I’m talking about Count Chocula, Franken Berry, and Boo Berry cereals!
While these monster cereals have already been spotted in stores like Target, Big Lots, and Walgreens, I want to thank General Mills for generously sending me the spooker care package you see above, which contained the cereals themselves and so, so much more. I know what you’re thinking, and I agree. Couldn’t they have thought of more creative sequel names than I Still Know What You Did Last Summer and I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer?
But enough about murderous fishermen. Let’s start researching for an I Know What You Ate Last Autumn screenplay instead. Continue reading →
