Category Archives: Reviews

Review: Almond Cheerios Oat Crunch

New Almond Cheerios Oat Crunch Review Box

Like buying a gift for the person who has everything, or picking toppings for the bagel that is Everything, it’s tough saying much about a cereal line like Cheerios Oat Crunch, whose simple concept and already much-lauded lineage seems to speak for itself.

It’s got oats, and it’s got a whole lot of crunch. What’s not to love? Already released in both Cinnamon and Oats & Honey, Cheerios Oat Crunch has earned nothing but high marks and brimming enthusiasm from me. Oats & Honey in particular was named the #1 cereal of 2019—and it was probably the best cereal of the 2010s as a whole, too.

With that said, new Almond Cheerios Oat Crunch simultaneously has big, ring-shaped shoes to fill as well as a very low bar to clear. Because if it’s anything at all like its predecessors, it’ll easily be a bombastic breakfast. But the only way to find out is to dig in, eh?

Continue reading

Review: Dulce de Leche Toast Crunch

New Dulce de Leche Toast Crunch Review Box

This is a tough review to write.

For one thing, its name and eye-catching box art alone are sure to make Dulce de Leche Toast Crunch one of this summer’s most hyped cereals. Second, there’s a lot going on here: like if someone threw a bunch of butter and caramel and milk and cinnamon and ten other things from a confectioner’s cupboard into a washing machine—and then threw that washing machine, plus a dryer and two fridges (for good measure) into an industrial rock tumbler.

But as your friendly neighborhood cereal blogger, I will do my darnedest to demystify these squares and their witch’s brew of golden goo. Continue reading

Review: Mister E. Pop-Tarts (Mystery Flavor!)

New Mystery Flavor Pop-Tarts Review Box

What’s the opposite of the Kool-Aid Man? A hollowed-out cherry full of molten glass?

Well whoever he is, somebody better call him, because we’re gonna need a hearty “Oh, noooooo” to kick this review off.

I know, I know: I just shared the news about these Mystery Flavor Pop-Tarts two days ago, and here I am already reviewing them. Well, despite having a portly pantry’s worth of actual cereals awaiting review, after tasting Mister E. Pop-Tarts I knew they had to jump the queue.

See, Pop-Tarts didn’t do what Great Value Mystery Toaster Pastries did, by introducing a fruit punchy flavor so vague it could be anything from grape to grapefruit. However, Pop-Tarts also didn’t do what I hoped they would do: introduce a universally palatable, yet unique, flavor like Chocolate Hazelnut or Honey Pop-Tarts.

No, what Pop-Tarts did was bold—exceptionally so, considering how you have to blindly commit to 16 Pop-Tarts when you buy these.

What Pop-Tarts did…was totally prank us. Continue reading

Bite-Sized Review: New Strawberry Rice Krispies Treats

My cereal cupboard overfloweth, so a tweet will suffice for this pink eat (that kinda looks like meat).

Quick Review: Kellogg’s Together with Pride Cereal

Aw man, we were this close to seeing a squad fight in the cereal aisle.

See, Kellogg’s first cereal team-up with GLAAD—raising awareness and funds for LGBTQ+ rights—was “All Together Cereal.” This infamous Super Smash Bros. Ultimate of cereals may not have actually combined six cereals in one box (they were mini boxes inside a bigger box), but I was hoping that in future iterations Kellogg’s might get bolder and try loose mixing + added DLC characters. It also would’ve been convenient timing for All Together to return, just as hype is building around the General Mills’ marbit-soup that is Monster Mash Cereal.

Franchise vs. Franchise. That would be like if Smash Bros. crossed-over with…Digimon Rumble Arena 2.

But nope, instead we get a note-for-note technicolor remaster of 2019’s Caticorn Cereal. Together with Pride tastes exactly the same, and Caticorn wasn’t exactly memorable. If I didn’t have a big fluffy mystical white cat myself, that crunchy cryptid would’ve dissolved into my subconscious aether a year ago.

Like Caticorn, Together with Pride is very generically fruity. It’s difficult and unproductive trying to detect any traces of raspberry or strawberry specifically, because it all gets gummed together by a sticky sugar sheen and the additional cloying sweetness of each piece’s “edible glitter.” Imagine the fakest berry taste you can, then make it hollower and glossier.

Milk can help tone down the artificiality a bit, but Together with Pride’s color evokes Froot Loops, and with that I can’t help but compare the two. What this needs is a juicier, more tropical twist, because as it stands…I’m just gonna leave this bowl standing here.

Maybe it’ll solidify into a cereal milk candle.

The Bottom Line: 4 good causes with bad executions out of 10

Review: Special K Dipped Chocolatey Almond

New Chocolatey Almond Special K with Chocolate-Dipped Flakes Box

Dipped. Dunked. Coated. Frosted. There are many dramatic ways—each dastardly and delightful—to bestow chocolatey goodness upon an otherwise indecently nude food morsel. I’ll be honest that I didn’t really know there was an industry distinction between chocolate-coated and chocolate-dipped flakes, but thanks to this allegedly groundbreaking new variety of Special K, we can be assured that choco-coated flakes are totally boring ol’ fudgy-duddies, while their dipped brethren are show-stopping pioneers in their field.

That’s a lot of hype for the cereal equivalent of Lay’s chocolate-dipped potato chips, which ended up having more charming novelty than rubber dog poop, but far less than those top hat-wearing drinking birds. Those guys have charm and novelty dripping down their felted chins! Let’s see how hip this chocolate dip really is.

(It was between that lame rhyming line and “let’s see how fun this ‘due really is.”) Continue reading

Bite-Sized Review: Ghostbusters Cereal

Look, I wanted to write a full post about this one, but it…it did not give me much to go on. Skip it, ‘nough said.

Bite-Sized Review: Shaq & Tony’s Frosted Flakes with Cinnamon Basketballs

The latest nosh from my perennially overflowing pantry.