Category Archives: Reviews

Review: Peace Cereal Maple Buckwheat Hemp Supergrains Cereal

From Reese’s Pieces to Ben & Jerry’s Peace Pops and Swedish Peacemärken, the idea of peace has brought us many delightful foods. Until Nabisco decides to release a line of “War-eo” double stuffed blood red sandwich cookies, I think the power of good will continue to dominate the snack aisle.

And the breakfast aisle, too, as the ever-healthy, organic, non-GMO (and all that jazz) Peace Cereal continues to produce innovative new flavor varieties. I’ve been meaning to try Peace Cereal for a long time, but the brand is tragically difficult to find on shelves (try Whole Foods for your best bet).

But now that I have a box on hand, it’s time to bring peace to the galaxy—or at least my cereal bowl—by reviewing Peace Cereal’s Maple Buckwheat Hemp cereal. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, attune foods, maple, peace cereal. Leave a comment

Feb. ’16

Review: Nature Valley Baked Oat Bites Cereal

Why buy G.I. Joe when you can buy G.I. Joe With KUNG-FU Grip? Why watch Blade Runner when you can watch Blade Runner: The Final Cut with the original, full-length unicorn daydream sequence?

And why in the name of all that is good and crunchy would you ever eat regular Oreos when Double Stuf Oreos exist?

Such questions haunted me as I gazed upon Baked Oat Bites, one of three new cereals from Nature Valley. It looks just like Kellogg’s Cracklin’ Oat Bran…but with an additional sugary drizzle.

But I gave Cracklin’ Oat Bran a 10/10, so there lies my conundrum. Is it possible for a new cereal to improve upon perfection, or should the mathematical impossibility of “giving 110%” be left for cheesy sports movies?

It’s time for me to find out. Even if I have to punch a few more holes in my belt to do so. With 210 calories per 3/4 cup, that shouldn’t be hard to do.

Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 10 rating, general mills, nature valley. 27 Comments

Jan. ’16

Review: Kellogg’s Blueberry with Vanilla Drizzle Mini-Wheats Harvest Delights

Last episode on: “Cerealously’s Milk-Soaked Adventures in Breakfast World”

Dan was not thrilled with Mini-Wheats Cranberry Harvest Delights. When the Mini-Wheats attacked, Dan attempted to coax some sense of goodness out of the cough syrupy cranberry purée buried deep into each tumbleweed of a biscuit. But their mere kiss of yogurt flavor was not enough.

As a result, Dan was ready to kiss the Harvest Delights brand goodbye, until an impartial jury of Internet commenters convinced him to give the Blueberry Vanilla variety a try. Apprehensive, hungry, and—for some reason—a little sweaty, Dan conceded.

We now join our cereal hero (we only call him a hero because he likes hero sandwiches), already locked into a stare down with a box of Mini-Wheats Blueberry Vanilla Harvest Delights.

Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 5 rating, kelloggs, mini-wheats. 6 Comments

Jan. ’16

Review: Kashi GoLean Clusters Vanilla Pepita

Forget everything Schoolhouse Rock taught you: knowledge clearly isn’t power…plants are! And bills don’t spend their time anthropomorphically singing on the steps of the Capital Building, either, but that’s a misconception for another time.

Alright, I probably shouldn’t mock knowledge. After all, I am in college so that I can be learnin’ me them knowledges. But with all the different powerful plants in Vanilla Pepita—the newest gluten free cereal from Kashi—I can fill any gaps in my education with pepitas, red beans, pea crisps, and sorghum.

Hear that, professor? Who needs degrees when you can have peas?

Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, gluten free, kashi. 2 Comments

Jan. ’16

Review: Skinner’s Raisin Bran from Uncle Sam

Raisin bran cereals are the oatmeal raisin cookies of the cereal world.

Now I’m not just talking about the ingredients, because that’s certainly not a hard comparison to make. What I mean is that raisin bran cereals are the breakfast aisle underdogs. Just like how oatmeal raisin is so often overshadowed by chocolate chip—its suave, popular older brother—raisin bran has had its spotlight unfairly stolen by, well, every other cereal ever.

It must be the word “bran” that naturally turns people off. And for that reason, I recommend that all raisin bran cereals change their name to something cooler, like “Raisin Bandoliers,” “Raisin Bandits,” or even “Raisin Badasses.”

While we wait for this mass raisin bran rebranding to occur, I thought I’d review another existing raisin bran variety to help inform all my fellow defenders of raisin bran and oatmeal raisin cookies. Today’s raisin ~~badass~~ bran? An old school classic: Skinner’s Raisin Bran. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 7 rating, attune foods, raisin bran. 5 Comments

Jan. ’16

Review: Kellogg’s Frosted Maple Bacon Pop-Tarts

You might be wondering why it has taken me so long to post a review of these new Maple Bacon Pop-Tarts. As someone who collects Pop-Tarts like they’re sugary pastry trading cards (picture me sliding a Frosted Strawberry into a Yu-Gi-Oh duel disk), I agree that I should have had this review up eons ago.

But I’ve been staring at this box of Pop-Tarts for a solid month now, because I just can’t decide whether I like them.

“Oh, these are terrible!” I’ll mumble to myself, as I slide another Tart in my mouth, chasing it with a glass of milk to form a flowing Maple Bacon Log Flume down through my esophagus.

To quote Kylo Ren: “I’m being torn apart!” I wonder if it was a Maple Bacon Pop-Tart that turned him to the Dark Side. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 5 rating, kelloggs, maple, non cereal, pop-tarts. 2 Comments

Jan. ’16

Review: Kellogg’s ToGo Breakfast Mix: Cinnamon Roasted Candied Pecan and Salted Caramel & Praline Almond

Unlike the product it’s reviewing, this review of Kellogg’s new ToGo Breakfast Mixes should not be enjoyed while driving.

This review will not fit in your cupholder.

And licking this review will not produce a savory cinnamon pecan flavor.

So how are they similar? Well, both the breakfast mixes and this review probably shouldn’t be submerged in milk. That’s right: according to the packages themselves, Kellogg’s latest attempt to capture those “on the move” consumers—who have been slowing cereal sales—is meant to be enjoyed as dry finger food, preferably while stuck in rush hour traffic or while leaning away from the smelly guy on the bus.

Heck, you could even scarf ’em down in the brief interval between paying at the 1st window and picking up your McNuggets from the 2nd window at a McDonald’s drive through.

So these resealable, single serving pouches are obviously convenient, but are they tasty? I double-fisted both flavors while flying down the Interstate in order to find out (okay, not really). Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, 9 rating, kelloggs. 3 Comments

Jan. ’16

Review: LOVE GROWN FOODS Chocolate Comet Crispies, Fruity Sea Stars, and Blueberry Vanilla Polar Puffs Cereals

Who needs Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, or The Dark Knight when you can have edible cereal trilogies? After all, the “One Ring to rule them all” has nothing on the sugary loops of Frosted Cheerios. Forget “ruling:” I’d rather be drooling.

And speaking of cereal trilogies, coming soon to a pantry near you is LOVE GROWN FOODS’ new trio of kid-focused, bean-based cereals. I previewed them last week, but now it’s time to ditch the “p” and get right down to the crunchy business of reviewing.

So grab the leftover holiday casserole, buy a few cans of Busch’s, grind up some coffee, and put on a Rowan Atkinson DVD, because today is all about beans!

Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 5 rating, 6 rating, 8 rating, love grown foods. 4 Comments