Ugh, is there anything in the world less appealing than Pink Confection?
…oh, wait, we’re not talking about McDonald’s nugget slurry? Allow me to revise:
Uhh, is there anything in the world that sounds less appealing than Pink Confection?
Sure, I’m aware of confections and the color pink, but I’m unsure I’ve ever seen those two words in tandem—not even on bags of Frosted Animal Cookies. Even a Google search of “Pink Confection” only turns up results for 7-Eleven’s Detective Pikachu candy bars, which lead us to believe the stuff is made from 100% All-American Angus Snubbull.
Oh, and there’s this tremendous articulation of the English language, as found in a 1962 issue of The New York Times:
Pink Confection Is Appealing Token of Love; Real Roses Adorn Light Cake for a Valentine Can Be Frozen
Well doesn’t that just tell us everything we need to know about the Froot Loopiest of 7-Eleven’s 7-Select Cereal Sweets bars?
These real-cereal-infused bars also come in not-Cinnamon Toast Crunch (in milk chocolate) and fake Fruity Pebbles (in an equally dubious White Confection), but I chose the one bearing “Fruity Hoops,” partly because the cinnamon one seemed too ‘safe,’ and partly because I love rosy hues, even when they’re in something that sounds like it’s been perfectly processed through an android unicorn colon.
Alright, I’ve roasted pink confection enough. Let’s give this bar a break!