Category Archives: Reviews

Review: Cinnamon Roll Frosted Mini-Wheats

BRB, changing the name of my site to Curmudgeonously.

Why? Because the longer I write about cereal, the harder it gets for a new cereal to excite me. Don’t get me wrong, my heart still yearns and burns (figuratively) for cereal, but after reviewing 450+ breakfast products, the next plain ol’ chocolate, vanilla, or cinnamon-flavored cereal has to do a lot different to capture my attention. At a certain point, my trusty cartful of adjectives starts to get stale.

That was my mindset going into this newest flavor of Frosted Mini-Wheats. Not that Cinnamon Roll is really new territory for the brand. There were Cinnamon Streusel Mini-Wheats in 2007, and Cinnamon Roll Little Bites in 2012. The only thing 2021’s Cinnamon Roll Frosted Mini-Wheats have that the others don’t is….a kinda ugly box. The grey-blue is uninspiring, the cinnamon roll watermarks make it look like an off-brand DUPLO, and, well, I’ve already voiced my distaste for the redesigned Mini-Wheats mascot many times.

this is like one of those botched painting restorations pic.twitter.com/8MS9X0MjVp

— Cerealously 🥛🥣 (@cerealouslynet) December 12, 2020

But all hesitations notwithstanding, I must go into this review unbiased. Even if I want to punt the mascot with a pair of steel-toed boots. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: cinnamon, kellogg's, mini-wheats. 4 Comments

Jan. ’21

Review: Dunkaroos Cereal

When it comes to Saturday mornings and cartoons, cereal is the undisputed king of whimsical childhood nostalgia. But cereal isn’t just one thing. It’s a sesquicentennial constellation of countless different varieties, flavors, and mascots. That’s why it’s so impressive how Dunkaroos, a single snack consisting of vanilla cookies and rainbow frosting for dunking, has amassed about the same nostalgic clout as every cereal combined.

Seriously, look up any list of old comfort foods people want to save from discontinuation and Duncan the Kangaroo will be there in all his totally tubular glory. Of course, unless you’ve been living under the rock-hard mummified remains of vintage ’90s Dunkaroos frosting, you probably already know that Dunkaroos are back, and have been for almost a year now. As part of this Dunkaromantic revival, General Mills has also released Dunkaroos cookie dough, Dunkaroos yogurt, and more—like the confetti-infused cookie discs in the Dunkaroos Cereal I’m reviewing today.

I’ll be honest: I’m hesitant about this stuff to begin with. Vanilla and birthday/confetti cake flavors are notorious for leading to boring, one-note-sweet cereals. Pair that with how similar Dunkaroos looks to GM’s mediocre Funfetti Cereal, and you’ve got a recipe for molar-melting disappointment.

But hey, you never know ’til you dunk, right? Follow along as I go spoon deep. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: general mills. 5 Comments

Jan. ’21

Review: Special K with Blueberries

The fruit-to-artificial-imitation pipeline is really interesting to me. You’ve got fake flavors like green apple that, while not anything like eating a Granny Smith, at least sort of makes sense, as the artificial version still puckers one’s lips with hyped-up juiciness. But then you have the candied bananas, strawberries, and blueberries of the world. These range anywhere from “okay, I could see it, maybe in a sweet smoothie” to “why must humans play God?”

Blueberry is fascinating to me because, though I love Kellogg’s blueberry Fruity Snacks and Boo Berry, I’m not under any impression that those reflect reality. In all honesty, I’m not the biggest fan of plain blueberries. I’m much more of a strawberry fella, even (and especially) when it comes to jelly. Don’t even get me started on Grape PB&Js.

Oh man, I got so off topic there. The point is that the dried blueberries—something I’ve never had before—in Kellogg’s new Special K with Blueberries cereal strike an interesting balance between fresh and highly concentrated blueberry flavor. And they’re huge! Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: blueberry, kellogg's, special k. 2 Comments

Jan. ’21

Review: Chocolate Churro Cinnamon Toast Crunch

What makes a good cereal shape? For the overwhelming most part, cereal pieces fall into three categories: puffs, flakes, and squares. Sure, there are plenty of exceptions, from your basic puffed rice to the geometric marvel that is the stuffed Krave pillow, but I don’t believe my palate’s ever encountered anything else quite like Cinnamon Toast Crunch Churros.

While most of my cheers and jeers about this noodly cereal medium can be found in my original review for plain CTC Churros, they’re worth reiterating as I dive into this vaguely cylindrical Chocolate sequel. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: chocolate, cinnamon, general mills, toast crunch. 3 Comments

Jan. ’21

Review (x2): Chocolate Strawberry Cheeros & Multigrain Cheerios with Strawberries!

Are strawberries anyone else’s favorite fruit? Don’t get me wrong, I love just about every fruit—pears can rot in the dry, mealy ground for all I care. But there’s something about the perfect pop-ability, late spring–early summer vibes, and shortcake satisfaction of strawberries. It doesn’t hurt that artificial strawberry is the best fake fruit flavor, too.

Seriously, if y’all got any pink Laffy Taffy laying around, chuck ’em in the general direction of Michigan.

Because I like strawberries so much, I will never turn down a new strawberry cereal. So when Cheerios introduced both Chocolate Strawberry and Multigrain with Strawberries varieties, I knew I had to tackle both in one straw-some ode of a review to my favorite, rosily plump fruit. After all, plain ol’ Strawberry Cheerios were amazing, so what could go wrong, right? Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: cheerios, chocolate, general mills, strawberry. Leave a comment

Dec. ’20

Review: Waffle Crisp from Mexico!

In every romance movie with a tense post-high school breakup, there must be a cautiously sublime reunion in adulthood, where things feel good, but not quite right. There’s too much history at that point: inevitable comparisons are drawn, so much time has been lost, there are uncomfortable questions and unexpected answers.

Anyway, that’s how I feel about tasting Waffle Crisp again for the first time in over two years, when it was officially discontinued by Post following a long period of limited availability. I’ve heard rumors and nuggets of truth for a while now indicating that Waffle Crisp was still available in other countries, but it was hard to find conclusive answers when so many online stores list the stuff without actually having it available for purchase. But after noodling around the web so much in pursuit of my long-lost golden dream, I had to bite the short stack when I noticed Mexican Candy Lady only had one remaining box of Waffle Crisp from Mexico—she does not appear to have restocked recently so I worry this really was my last chance and Waffle Crisp’s last gasp.

But no matter, there’s no need to stay steeped in the past when I can still go face-first into this bowl of bite-sized waffles. New Year’s kisses are sweeter with syrup, after all. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: international, maple, post, waffle crisp. Leave a comment

Dec. ’20

Quick Review (x2): Kellogg’s Froot Loops & Frosted Flakes Cereal Bars

“Hop to it, wee one!” — Dotty, of Animal Crossing fame.

Ever since I read this quote in-game, it has played in my head during laborious moments of great urgency. And covering every new cereal hitting shelves this January, by the end of January? That’s no wee effort. Thus, I must get hopped up on sugar to review what I already have, as fast as I can.

Many a bowl’s work ahead of me, I’m starting with a straightforward new release. These Froot Loops & Frosted Flakes Cereal Bars are already out, but are they worth squaring off with at breakfast-time? I’ll make it clear: yes and no. That is, these Froot Loops Cereal Bars are wonderful, while the Frosted Flakes version leaves a lot to be desired. Allow me to elaborate: Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: cereal bars, froot loops, frosted flakes, kellogg's. 2 Comments

Dec. ’20

Review: Sainsbury’s Mince Pie Wheats

Merry Post-Christmastime! May your day after be filled with contented lethargy, stocking stuffer candy snarfing, and cats rustling joyfully through bins of discarded wrapping paper.

Yet for bootstrapping cereal bloggers such as myself, the end of Christmas means I’ve got a mountain of cereal news and reviews to surmount. January is the biggest time of the year for new breakfast releases, and cereal company PR reps have been mailing me salvos of sweet stuff for the past few weeks. And while this may have been a serendipitous way to find boxes for all the gifts I gave, I still have enough cardboard clogging up my house to provide beds for twenty more cats than I already own.

By my cursory count, there are nearly two-dozen cereals in my kitchen, and while not all of them call for a blog article, I certainly have my work cut out for me. So before I dive into 2020’s best and brightest breakfast inductees, I want to ease in with a quick look at a U.K. exclusive that’s really bringing a snowy inn’s worth of cheer and innovation to this winter. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: cinnamon, international, raisin. 1 Comment