Category Archives: News

11

Jul. ’17

News: Cinnamon Toast Crunch Bites are Coming Soon to the Freezer Aisle. And Your Stomach!

(Image via General Mills)

(Update: We reviewed Cinnamon Toast Crunch Bites!)

I go nuts, you go nuts, we all go nuts for bite-sized, Cinnamon Toast Crunch-encrusted doughnuts!

General Mills formally announced their new summer product lineup yesterday, and while all the traditional cereals mentioned, like Apple Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Blueberry Chex, have already been on shelves long enough for me to shamefully eat a family of family-sized boxes, one frozen novelty somehow avoided early distribution or online news leakage: Cinnamon Toast Crunch Bites!

Coming soon to grocery freezer aisles, Cinnamon Toast Crunch are soft, cinnamon sugar-dusted doughnut holes filled with cinnamon filling that turns warm and gooey when heated. This isn’t the first time we’ve seen a Cinnamon Toast Crunch doughnut, and it’s not the first time we’ve seen a filled cinnamon doughnut hole—these seem like a spiritual successor to Taco Bell’s Cinnabon Delights.

But it is the first time we’ve been able to savor sweet, doughy cinnamon swirls in every bite within 30 seconds of open packaging. That’s how long it takes to make a Cinnamon Toast Crunch bite in the microwave, an I’m thankful.

Because that’s just enough time to scarf down an appetizer bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch in anticipation.

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30

Jun. ’17

News: New Quaker Product Oat-stravaganza

New Quaker Oatmeal with Antioxidants – Blueberry Cranberry and Green Apple Fig

Oh come on, Quaker: give that poor ol’ Oats guy a rest. We all know that he has to hand-toast every single Quaker oat before it’s ready for consumption. It takes him hours just to meticulously craft a single oatmeal packet, and now you’re throwing a smorgasbord of new products onto his to-do list! His work–life balance is going out the window, all for the sake of our balanced breakfast.

Oh well, he’s a man who loves his craft, so let’s respect it by rounding up all the new Quaker products hitting shelves now. Above we have an extension of the brand’s iconic instant oatmeal pantheon: two antioxidant-rich varieties. I don’t know much about antioxidants—my childish self would assume you throw the packets in a room ful of your enemies to slowly drain them of oxygen, supervillain-style—but I know that the two flavors here are pretty unique. Blueberry Cranberry is bold for brazenly removing strawberry from the expected berry rotation, while Green Apple Fig is the first fig flavored anything I’ve heard of since the Fig Newton.

(I really hope this oatmeal contains crushed-up Fig Newtons.) Continue reading →

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01

Jun. ’17

News: Honey Maid S’mores Cereal Keeps the Flame Alive

New Honey Maid S'mores Cereal with Madagascar and More

New Honey Maid S’mores Cereal (Left) with its Ancestors

Apparently cereal isn’t like baseball: there’s no “three s’mores and you’re out” policy.

Post, the Honey Bunch-slinging, Oreo O’s-reviving parent company of Malt-O-Meal, has announced that even after launching Madagascar S’mores Jungle Party, Canadian S’Mores Cereal, and Malt-O-Meal S’mores, they’ll be raising a toast(ed marshmallow) to one more graham–’mallow–chocolate cereal with new Honey Maid S’Mores Cereal.

Debuting this month (if not now in your local Walmart: check Post’s store locator) alongside a probably-far-more-popular-with-no-offense-to-s’mores-because-come-on-it’s-cookies-for-breakfast cereal, newly introduced Oreo O’s, Honey Maid S’mores combines ridged honey graham squares, chocolate puffs, and mini marshmallows to re-create everyone’s favorite campfire treat.

Well, almost everyone: I prefer roasting Cheez-Its for that extra extra toasty effect.

Though it’s unlikely that Honey Maid S’mores will taste any different than its breakfast aisle kinfolk, I’m sure I’ll still buy it anyway. If only so I can give my Teddy Grahams officially licensed honey graham surfboards to ride on.

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31

May. ’17

News: Oreo O’s are Coming Back to America, 10 Years Later!

New American Oreo O's Cereal 2017 Cookies & Cream

(Image via Post)

I’m Oreo O-verjoyed.
I’m Oreo O-ver the moon.
I’m bellowing “Oreo O-h yeah!” to the skies, heavens, and great sandwich cookie cosmos above.

Yes, friends, neighbors, countrymen, and dunkers: Oreo O’s, your favorite ’90s cereal or probably favorite cereal ever, is coming back. In the year 2017.

On the 20th anniversary of its debut and the 10th anniversary of its tragic discontinuation in the States, news has broken—and subsequently broken the internet in two like a twisted apart cookie—that Post has brought its iconic, cookies and creme flavored cereal back from our nostalgic memories and into reality. Of course, the cereal has been around in South Korea for nearly a decade now—a fact that I’ve well-documented—but its high price of important made it out of reach for all but the most “devoted” (by which I mean “questionably sane” and by which I also mean me).

These new Oreo O’s should be hitting shelves in early June, so start prepping some garage space to stockpile boxes. Heck: maybe Nabisco will even re-release S’Mores Oreos so we have something to eat during our Walmart parking lot campouts.

Before I leave you all to bathe in a palpable sea of nostalgia, this new Oreo O’s news does come with a cumbersome (or “crumbersome,” if you will) caveat. Malt-O-Meal, which is owned by Post, already released a Cookies & Cream Oreo O’s doppelgänger. This taste-alike is pretty good, but it still can’t match the dense, buttery flavor of the Korean kind—which I consider to be the true original.

This new Post Oreo O’s revival looks eerily similar to Cookies & Cream, leading me to worry that “new” Oreo O’s are just repackaged C&C and not, in fact, the real Oreo O.G. A Post spokesperson claims that, “Fans of the iconic OREO O’s cereal will find the product has stayed true to its roots,” but as, arguably, the world’s biggest Oreo O’s fan (wait ’til I put that on my resume), I have one thing left to say:

Be ready to put your money where my mouth is. Or something like that.

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14

May. ’17

News: Blueberry Lemon Special K is on the Way!

blueberry-lemon-special-k

(Image via Kellogg’s)

There’s no better way to ring in this Mother’s Day than with news about a cereal as sweetly cozy as a mother’s hug.

At least, that’s what I’m telling my mom when I glue-stick the above photo into her otherwise tragically breakfast-less Mother’s Day card.

Our Special (K) thanks go to reader Tina, who tipped us off about Special K Blueberry with Lemon Clusters, a new Kellogg’s cereal that just popped up online. Not content with just one type of cluster, this hardworking mother of a cereal combines Special K’s typical multi-grain flakes with blueberry oat granola bits and lemony yogurt ones.

Special K’s yogurt nuggets are historically pretty good, so here’s hoping these citrusy ones are more sweet than sour. Maybe Kellogg’s even convinced the Trix rabbit to defect and share his secret recipes for both lemony and yogurty goodness.

We’re not sure when Blueberry Lemon Special K is going to hit shelves, but I’d recommend you start fluffing your pillows and preparing your bed to be breakfasted in. Because any day can be Mother’s Day with enough TV trays and Family Feud marathons.

 

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06

Apr. ’17

News: Burger King’s Froot Loop Milkshake is Coming Soon!

Burger King Froot Loops Shake

Okay fine, Toucan Sam. You got me. This really does Froot my Loops.

Everyone’s favorite nose-following mascot has been pushing his new “Whatever Froots Your Loops” slogan across social media, in everything from tweets to SnapChat filters. Ol’ Toucan Samuel has even been using it in a much-advertised Froot Loops Milkshake recipe video that I’ve seen on Instagram more times than that milkshake has calories.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BP5SvUojuVF/?taken-by=frootloops

That slogan must not have inspired much milkshake motivation, because now Burger King is cutting out the middle man and making a real Froot Loops Shake for us. The moral of the story? If you don’t want to make your own dessert, just be lazy for long enough and a plastic-masked monarch will lovingly pour it right into your lap.

The $2.99 shake is hitting Burger King on April 17th, so mark your calendar, stake out your local BK for a good place to pitch a tent, and prepare you taste buds for trampling—this is gonna be like Black Friday, just with a lot more lactose.

And speaking of which, Burger King describes the Froot Loops Milkshake as containing “Velvety Vanilla-flavored Soft Serve, FROOT LOOPS® Cereal pieces and sweet sauce are hand spun to perfection to create a twist on one of America’s classic breakfast cereals.”

I don’t know what “sweet sauce” is, but I know I’d like it served from wine glasses at my wedding.

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30

Mar. ’17

News: Mocha Crunch Cereal Coming Soon from General Mills!

Chocolate Mocha Crunch Cereal

(Image via General Mills and Influenster)

(Update: We reviewed Mocha Crunch Cereal!)

Forget Honey Nut Cheerios: this is the kind of buzz I want on my breakfast table.

I’ve been waiting for a mainstream coffee cereal since I first precociously sipped my grandpa’s Maxwell House at age 9, and now General Mills is making that dream a reality with Mocha Crunch Cereal. Sure, Coffee Cereal exists in its own delicious niche, but ever since I ideated “CappucinOs” for a class project (and permanently answered the question, “what’s wrong with that Dan kid?”), my ideal coffee cereal has been a creamy, milky, and maybe even toffee-y bowl of sweetness.

Hot off the crumbling pastry heels of Chocolate Mocha Pop-Tarts, General Mills is ready to brew a retailiatory strike with a teal box full of cocoa coffee discs. They appear to have the same chip-less Cookie Crisp shape of Thin Mints Cereal, so I hope Mocha Crunch’s pieces have the same delightfully powdered texture, too.

And let’s hope they contain enough real caffeine to make a Girl Scout earn her “Xtreme Tree Climbing” merit badge.

There’s no official word on when we’ll be able to sip this chocolate bean-y breakfast blend (with a side of Cinnamon Toast Crunch to dip into the endmilk, of course), but our thanks go to our pal The Junk Food Aisle for breaking the fresh-brewed news. Now to find the perfect mug to eat this stuff out of.

I’ll be sure to leave room for cream.

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22

Mar. ’17

News: Birthday Cake Froot Loops is Coming Soon to Canada

https://www.instagram.com/p/BR4ewPhAuEL/?taken-by=junkfoodcanada

 

(Update: We reviewed Birthday Cake Froot Loops!)

And just like that, Canada takes the lead!

I swear, 2017 so far has just been a back-and-forth battle between the U.S. and Canada to see who can release the coolest cereal exclusives. To name just a few of this crunchy conflict’s top warriors, banana bread and marshmallowy oatmeal have led Team Canada, while America’s platoon has been led by cookies, cookies, and, uh…more cookies.

It’s been a real war of nutrition attrition, with the only real winners being those who live along the border. But I think it’ll be hard for the States to retaliate against their northern neighbors’ latest cereal salvo: Birthday Cake Froot Loops, coming this summer to celebrate Canada’s 150th anniversary.

The first known photo of this stuff comes courtesy of JunkFoodCanada on Instagram, who I can only assume acquired the picture through some top secret breakfast espionage involving bowl-touting drones and lasers reflected off spoons.

I have no idea what Birthday Cake Froot Loops will taste like—or why Kellogg’s Canada gave such a custardy vanilla flavor to a fruity cereal instead of, say, Frosted Flakes (they could’ve called them “Frosting Flakes!”)—but based on the color, I’m hoping it has a nice strawberry shortcake or cherry vanilla flavor.

My silent apologies to any kid who got a strawberry shortcake for his birthday. They may be good, but strawberry shortcakes will never hold a blubbery candle to Fudgie the Whale.

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