Time is running out on the hourglass. Grab a box while you still can! pic.twitter.com/8HWPJXXg3v
— Lucky Charms (@LuckyCharms) February 8, 2018
Goodnight, sweet curvaceous and fluorescent prince.
Though the above tweet from Lucky Charms is needlessly cryptic, major news sources have confirmed the rumors: before long, the hourglass marshmallow will be disappearing from boxes of the much-loved oat and marbit cereal.
The good really do die young: introduced in 2008, the hourglass is actually the newest mainstay Lucky Charms marshmallow. And despite being very questionably recognizable as an hourglass, the marshmallow was redeemed by an awesome commercial campaign, in which it became a powerful talisman capable of controlling time itself.
The hourglass will be far from the coolest discontinued Lucky Charm marshmallow: that honor is shared by rainbow whales and keys that only revealed in milk.
Like a ten-year Snapchat streak about to expire, the hourglass’ early retirement raises many questions: is this part of General Mills’ war on artificial colors? Will we see popped balloons, waning moons, and an end of the rainbow in the near future? And most of all, what marshmallow will replace the hourglass?
Feel free to leave your marshmallow guesses below. I’m banking on a naturally colored magic sugar beet.
