What qualifies as a successfully transformative “Shake Up” (let alone one with an exclamation point at the end) in the cereal world? Is it enough to simply “shake together” a bunch of existing cereal bits, or do you need to “shake in” something entirely new? Well we’re about to find out, because Pebbles’ new pair of pieced-together pouches represent both ends of that continuum, and I’m here to be the supreme arbiter—the Lady Justice holding the bowl-shaped scales, if you will—of just how good they really are.

So let’s do this, Post: shake up my stomach like a wedding-day bottle of champagne!

Cocoa Explosion Pebbles Shake Ups! Review

I’m starting with Cocoa Explosion simply because it’s way less interesting. This is what I meant in my intro about a snack mix that doesn’t really mix things up in any distinctly creative way. Chocolate Honeycomb is already a cereal, marbits are chew-biquitous in the breakfast aisle, and “Cocoa Pebbles Boulders” is just a U.S. localization of Canada’s Chocolate Glazed Timbits Cereal.

As such, with two different chocolate cereal pieces and plain white disc marbits, Cocoa Explosion tastes like just that: a familiar, lightly toasted cocoa-powdered cereal with variable mouthfeel…

…at least, that’s what I would say, if Post hadn’t absolutely hosed this pouch full of more marbits than I’ve ever seen in a mainline cereal. Seriously, I taste just as much grotesquely granulated one-note powdered sugar here as I do cocoa (which, admittedly, has only like 1.5 notes). Maybe Cocoa Explosion was dubbed a “cereal snack mix” instead of just a cereal for legal loophole reasons: I imagine snack mixes have a higher public tolerance for acceptable sugar excess than anything advertised as a breakfast food.

Either way, Cocoa Explosion Pebbles Shake-Ups! tastes…fine, I guess? But it’s not particularly interesting. First off, I’ve never seen snack mixes as any more convenient than just carrying around a cereal box, and second—and this may disturb many to hear—if I’m ever looking for a straight-up chocolatey cereal, I’m gonna reach for Double Chocolate Krave every time, not some half-baked cocoa-dusted puffs.

The Bottom Line: 5 roads exhaustingly more travelled out of 10

Sweet & Salty Pebbles Shake-Ups! Review

Phew, you can relax now, baby: that boring guy is gone. Now the real party can start: the syrup ‘n’ salt-slathered birthday party.

Sweet & Salty Pebbles Shake Ups! is a mix so absurdly arbitrary you’d think a drunken robot belched up the recipe after one too many Oiled Fashions. I mean, Birthday Cake Boulders, Waffle Crisp, and salted pretzel rounds? I certainly don’t get it, but I’m ready to get on board with it.

And that’s because, by some strange appetizing alchemy, this mix works. Granted, I usually hate birthday cake-flavored cereals, and yes, the Boulders are this mix’s weakest component by far, but they still manage to be largely inoffensive, serving as generically sweet filler—much like Cocoa Explosion’s marbits, albeit with a bigger crunch and a less cloying bite.

No, it’s the other two bits that drive this intriguing medley. The Waffle Crisp infuses its golden faux maple goodness into every bite—tempered by the Birthday Cake so as to not be overwhelming—while the salt from the pretzels really really pops through in a mouthwatering way. I know cereal rarely dips into the realms of saltiness (and I get it: milk and salt don’t really play nice), so I’m glad this  Sweet & Salty snack mix is once again skirting its pseudo-cereal status to break the rules a little.

Don’t get me wrong, Sweet & Salty Pebbles Shake-Ups! isn’t a masterpiece of a life-changing product—for a snack mix, it still feels a little dry overall. For both this and its chocolate companion, a touch of creaminess would’ve gone a long way. For example, if they’d coated the pretzel bits in yogurt, this mix would be unforgettable. But as it stands, it’s simply an interesting and decidedly munchable novelty. The more that I think about it, the more it reminds me of Post’s infamous Chicken & Waffles Cereal, with all the compelling contrast of tastes but none of the weird meaty aftertaste.

So good on you, whoever came up with Sweet & Salty Pebbles Shake Ups! You may not have shook the world upside-down, but I’d certainly like to shake your hand.

The Bottom Line: 8.5 Beyond Chicken & Waffle Cereals out of 10