French toast? One iconic cereal.
Pancakes? Like, half of one cereal.
But waffles? Well they’ve got a whole father, son, & holy ghost type deal going on. Not to mention whatever divine misfire spawned this unsettlingly charming abomination. Yes, waffles are king of the bowled maple breakfast game, probably because they’re a) the most iconic, b) easy to translate into aerated cereal form, and c) the word “waffle” is just infinitely more fun to say. Waffle. Waffle.
It’s like I’m a dog asking to be thrown a whiffle ball!
Since waffles are so (w)awfully awesome, it’s no surprise that we’re getting a third entry into the rebooted Eggo Cereal franchise. Joining Homestyle Maple and Blueberry, Eggo Chocolate Waffle Cereal seems a bit strange when compared to the obvious Chocolate Chip Waffle Cereal they could’ve done, though I suppose I shouldn’t complain that we’re getting 100% chocolate immersion with this one. Or should ? That remains to be seen, tasted, and casually belched as I pat my soon-to-be cereal-swollen stomach.
Enough talk. L’Eggo!
Chocolate Eggo Cereal drives me crazy.
Wait, “crazy” isn’t the best word.
Chocolate Eggo Cereal drives me cuckoo.
That’s more like it. My first reaction to these seven-holed rounds was, “these are like better Cocoa Puffs.” Granted, being a better Cocoa Puff is a low bar, given how Sonny’s recent Retro Recipe ironically made his cereal less chocolatey. Nevertheless, Chocolate Eggo Cereal takes the good, sweet cocoa powdery aspects of Cocoa Puffs to a new level: the shimmering golden planes of cocoa butter.
Which is to say, there’s not a whole lot of maple going on in this cereal—to be fair, the box never said there would be?—but there’s still a rich, syrupy butteriness that glazes every piece. Whereas Cocoa Puffs’ decent chocolate flavor is still shallow enough to let its core corniness seep through, the base grain in Chocolate Eggo Cereal is totally unobtrusive. It really is that extra layer of sweet golden depth that puts Chocolate Eggo Cereal a shortstack above its cocoa competition.
Chocolate Eggo Cereal’s burly size and considerable crunch also lends it well to milk. This stuff has impressive anti-sog stamina, plus the endmilk left behind is thick and creamy like Dutch chocolate milk.
Overall, Eggo’s latest variant is a high-tier chocolate cereal that puts the likes of Cocoa Puffs, Cookie Crisp, and Cocoa Krispies to shame. Simply put, when cocoa powder glazed with golden goo gets griddled, it twists one’s tongue in all the best ways. If there’s any critique to make of Chocolate Eggo Cereal, it’d either be the lack of maple nuance, or the abrasive texture of the pieces, which would’ve benefitted from a light flavor dusting to give it the fluffy, pillowy mouthfeel of a real waffle.
But don’t let that stop you, chocolate cereal fans reading this. Hit the store and grab yourself a box. You can always grab some syrup while you’re there.
The Bowl: Eggo Chocolate Waffle Cereal
The Breakdown: Chocolatey, buttery, and crunchy as a well-browned waffle: Eggo brought some lovable layers to this cereal, even if it misses the maple mark.
The Bottom Line: 8.5 snubbed crepe cereals out of 10