For most of my life, I thought the best thing about cotton candy was its mascot: that nameless pink monster who not only looks like the lovechild of Mr. Bubble and a loofah, but who also deserves a place at the Halloween breakfast table right next to Chocula and his ilk.

But now that I’ve grown into a bubbly loafer of an adult, I’m just as enthralled with cotton candy’s many monikers around the world. It was first called ‘dragon’s breath’ in China’s Han dynasty around 200 CE, ‘candy floss’ in many European countries today, ‘sugar spin’ in Norway…’grandma’s hair’ in Greece…and…uhh…’dad’s beard’ in France.

And here I thought eating cotton sounded unappealing. “Better fluff than follicles,” as my clean-shaven dad always said.

Thanks to Quaker and Cap’n Crunch, we now have a new way to talk about cotton candy: with our mouths full. By turning the melt-in-your-mouth ephemera of cotton candy into something crunchy and tongue-stable, the Cap’n is expanding his line of wacky one-offs with Cotton Candy Crunch.

Unfortunately, I don’t have a nearby circus or country fair to review (and deep fry) this stuff at, but luckily, I’m enough of a clown that I feel qualified to taste test it from the comfort of my big honkin’ bed.

Let’s get the best part out of the way first. These colors, Cap’n. These colors. 

Those familiar with me in real life know that I am the four-time biggest fan of 2016 Pantone colors of the year Rose Quartz & Serenity, and much of my wardrobe is themed around these vaporwavian hues—if I could wear grandma’s hair as my own, I would. So naturally, I am geeked to see light pink and blue turned into a cereal—especially during Pride month, which I am interpreting as Cap’n Crunch’s support of trans visibility.

The problem with the colors of Cotton Candy Crunch? Its taste is so good that I can’t make a Crunch Berry necklace without awkwardly nibbling at my nape all day.

Yes, Cotton Candy Cap’n Crunch is a near-perfect re-creation of the same artificial cotton candy flavor you’ve likely tasted in Dum-Dum suckers, ice cream, sketchy energy drinks, and the vape cloud of that dude in your apartment complex who drinks sketchy energy drinks. To me, it most resonantly evokes a nostalgic favorite of mine: the punk-duck-fronted Cotton Candy Bubble Yum. Also welcome are the strong classic Crunch Berry undertones, which supplement the overt cotton candy flavor with something less affronting.

If you haven’t tasted artificial cotton candy, then that flavor is a bit difficult to describe, as there’s little else that tastes like it—even real cotton candy is more traditionally sweet than chemically nuanced. In fact, our Quack Flag-loving friends at Bubble Yum might be the best reference point, since my best attempt at a descriptor would be “strawberry-blueberry bubblegum sucked through an empty Pixy Stix.”

You know, that 100%-sugar-filled straw marketed to middle schoolers who will likely snort them during recess.

Cap’n Crunch’s take on cotton candy is also very sweet, so while I love the taste of fake cotton candy much more than the vaporous real thing, this is the kind of cereal you’ll probably have to shelve after one bowl. As a novel treat, it’s likely to please the carefree baby teeth still haunting your adult sweet tooth; but it’s ultimately a one-note gimmick best savored one bowl and one day at a time.

The same goes for milk, which gives the cotton candy flavor a more pervasive longevity at the risk of approaching overbearing sweetness. Unless you’re using unsweetened almond or skim milk, this might make a better dry snack for a roadtrip with hitchhiking carnies. Otherwise, you risk belching up invisible vape clouds of your own—the kind that will stay preserved in our troposphere until the cataclysmic day the Nameless Cotton Candy Monster absorbs all life into his porous folds.

All in all, Cotton Candy Crunch is a fun addition to the Cap’n Crunch mythos that rightfully deserves its Limited Edition status. It’s better than Blueberry Pancake Crunch, but not quite as glorious as Orange Creampop Crunch, making a bowl of Cotton Candy Crunch the ultimate summer fling you won’t dare mention come September.

Though here’s hoping the Cap’n brings back the colors for next year’s Baby Shower Crunch.

The Bowl: Cap’n Crunch’s Cotton Candy Crunch

The Breakdown: The sweet gets sweeter with a clever and well-executed recontextualization of cotton candy-flavored candy flavor—even if long-term exposure can leave you as lightheaded as a day spent on the Tilt-A-Whirl.

The Bottom Line: 8 servings of South Afrikaans “Ghost Breath” out of 10