Let’s take a moment to admire the abject honesty of the current cereal industry. We’ve had our ups and downs, with the occasional public health outcry shaping the way our beloved commodity is branded. Sugar Frosted Flakes became Frosted Flakes. Sugar Smacks became Honey Smacks, which was refined for a period to just Smacks before reverting back to the mean. And now, in this present age of risk-taking in the breakfast aisle, companies are owning the fact that cereal is pretty much dessert. To the sugar-coated mound of donut and cookie (for breakfast?!) cereals, we’ve also seen the advent of ice cream offerings.

I’d be remiss to not point out that Cocoa Puffs did not invent the concept. As with so many deliciously carbed rituals, the Italians did it first. So while Sicilians are enjoying their literal gelato sandwiches early in the day, apparently the norm in Naples is that unique blend of strawberry, vanilla, and chocolate for which the region is named. Or maybe it’s the other way around. Sonny’s history lesson is a little vague on that one.

Trader Joe’s inexplicably decided to counter the Neapolitan Cocoa Puffs with… Neapolitan Puffs Cereal. But it’s what’s under the hood that counts, and Joe has made some special modifications. TJ looked at a fairly good cereal that does not contain beans and said, “No. This will not do.” Instead of corn, oat, or even wheat, Neapolitan Puffs is made with a similar blend of beans found in the divisive LoveGrown cereals.

Personally, I quite like the subtle beany aftertaste and uniquely forgiving crunch of Comet Crispies. At the same time, I respect that it’s not everyone’s jam (if peanuts are a legume, does that make peanut butter just bean jam?), so you can expect a fair assessment here, as well.

First off, what’s with the pock marking? These puffs come out of the bag as if manifested from a Miyazaki film. It’s not as aesthetically pleasing as the reliable Cocoa Puffs spheroids, but I’ll allow it if only on the basis of the ingredients list. There is no artificial anything here, flavors and colors included. They went so far as to include carrot powder, which is just an impressive level of dedication to this relatively silly concept.

Taste-wise, I’m equally impressed that each color has its own flavor. The chocolate orbs taste like cocoa, strawberry tastes like strawberry, and vanilla is, shockingly, rather vanilla-esque. Taken as a whole, this is pretty solid fair for dry snacking by the scoop. Unlike the General Mills take on this idea, no single flavor overpowers the others. The strawberry is muted, which I attribute to the use of strawberry powder. Vanilla, a challenging flavor profile to convincingly pull off, disappears in the crowd, while the slightly bitter cocoa lingers after the fact.

I was waiting for the distinct bean aftertaste found in LoveGrown products, but between the total flavor coverage and a pretty significant bump in sugar content, nothing legumical shows up. In fact, Neapolitan Puffs have more sugar per gram than Cocoa Puffs. That strikes me as somewhat off-brand, which is strange given this is from the same beachcomber who brought us pancake bread.

Milk changes things predictably. The strawberry grows a little more pronounced, but this is really where it splits from any comparison with Cocoa Puffs. While Sonny’s strawberry comes out swinging, Trader Joe’s is happy to share the spoon, not overpowering its dance partners at this social. Cocoa is definitely the life of the party, even hanging out after things quiet down to chill in the milk. Vanilla is so boring, it left early to do next week’s homework.

On the whole, this is a quality foray with plenty of appeal. Despite the increasing availability of gluten-free choices, it’s nice to see some new possibilities beyond honey, nut, and/or chocolate efforts. Neapolitan Puffs fill an essential void, too, as they lend well to dry snacking, both ergonomically and in terms of flavor. This may not win for most eligible bowl-chelor, but it’ll be waiting for you when the milk runs out. Sometimes, that’s more important.

The Bowl: Trader Joe’s Neapolitan Puffs Cereal

The Breakdown: From box to bow, TJ’s strikes again with a classy take on a fun premise. These bean balls up the ante on a novelty cereal to something that feels like a potential steady for those in need of more gluten-free variety.

The Bottom Line: 7.5 magical forest waltzes out of 10